I don't really believe in one-upmanship in relationships, but my boyfriend has done something three or four times that really annoys me. We live together, and he'll be out drinking with his friends, and he says he'll be home at a certain time. He never sticks to that time... then I'm wondering where he is... he'll let me know at 3 in the morning that he's staying at a friend's (usually his brother's), or once he didn't let me know either way and stayed out overnight. I do trust him and I'm sure he isn't out doing the dirty on me, and this isn't a huge problem as it's only happened a few times, I just think it's very inconsiderate. He always apologises and says he won't do it again. Anyway he did it last week and I just wonder if I should stay out all night and not tell him so he knows how annoying and rude it is, there's only so many times I can tell him... advice please!
2006-10-23 00:34:36 · 19 answers · asked by Miss J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
my first reaction was to think its not a good idea to do something just because your partner has done something to annoy you....but after reading the whole thing, it may be a good idea...he's not listening to you and he needs to know that what he does is very upsetting for you. maybe you will be on the news in the morning as a missing person, but he really does need to learn...its very arrogant of him and very selfish. god luck!xx
2006-10-23 00:40:05 · answer #1 · answered by lil missy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would Defiantly say yes do it. I myself have done a similar thing with my b/f. He was going out drinking 4 and 5 nights a week staying out all night without even a phone call which lead to me sitting up all night worrying were he was and if he was OK. He would then roll in the next morning as if he had done nothing wrong i had tried time and time again to explain my feelings about the way he was acting which just went in one ear and out the other so i decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.
I arranged a night out and waited for my friend to pick me up .I told him i wouldn't be late in. I switched off my mobile and went straight to my friends house i stayed the night there. I arrived home at 10.30am the next morning to find my b/f sat at the window with the phone in his hand. He asked me where id been and why i hadn't called he said he had been worried sick and had no sleep i laughed and explained what id done and why i had done it.
It certainly worked as my b/f always calls now when he either gunna be late or not gunna be home.
Good luck x x x x
2006-10-23 01:13:09 · answer #2 · answered by lucylou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have already told him you dont like it and he still continues to do it get some friends and hit the town. It sounds like this guy needs a dose of reality and you are the only person who can give it. But be careful that it doeasnt become a tit for tat relationship.
2006-10-23 00:51:51 · answer #3 · answered by bonfireheat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're with someone who chooses not to be reliable and you assume that the best way to tell him that is to be unreliable yourself? I don't think that staying out all night will "give him the message". I think you need to communicate to him that you are unhappy with his lack of respect and consideration for you and ask him what's that all about? If he can't give you a legitimate answer and begin to change, then you need to ask yourself what kind of negative "pay off" you're getting by staying in this relationship...
2006-10-23 00:43:44 · answer #4 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does the word doormat mean anything to you? You tell him you trust him and your doomed! Trust comes in all shapes and forms, everytime he lets you down like this he is breaking your trust! My suggestion is you go out and forget the coming home late or staying out over night, DON'T GO BACK!
2006-10-23 00:40:11 · answer #5 · answered by punkyboygirl_24 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's not doing it that often and you trust him well he's not really doing a lot wrong, yes he could let you know he's OK and where he is to put your mind at ease.
But don't sit at home waiting, go out with your friends and enjoy yourself.
2006-10-23 00:43:27 · answer #6 · answered by Richard 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In this case yes.
But don't be too harsh with him and get your friend/relative to answer the mobile phone if he calls the next morning before running to get you.
So he's clear that you're with someone he knows and trusts
2006-10-23 00:42:41 · answer #7 · answered by lifeontrack2006 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said its not a huge problem but yet you ask on here what to do.Paybacks are always fun but rarely helpful.It can cause more problems.He is your man.Should be home nightly.need to put a stop to it.I dont know how since he oviously dont respect you.
2006-10-23 00:42:04 · answer #8 · answered by darlene100568 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
,,,lads never come home when they say they're gonna..don't try to change them...they will just do it all the more...just do what he does...see how he likes it....whats good for the goose.....however if he says he's staying at his bro's...he's more likely to be with another girl...brothers are good alibi's....keep an eye on him...if he says he's staying at his bro's again....then make it your business to turn up there no matter what time it is...he could be lying
2006-10-23 00:43:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes !!! do it..obviously this is the only way that he will realise how you feel when he does it to you and he should stop being so selfish and inconsiderate.
2006-10-23 00:46:34 · answer #10 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋