I have 2 children 1 ages 8yrs old and the other 8 months old i would like another baby in the next 10 years i am adamant that i will not push a double buggy around. People around think thats selfish why?
2006-10-22 23:49:37 · 43 answers · asked by Gossip81 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
have your kids when you like, its nothing to do with anybody else!
2006-10-22 23:51:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
no way are you selfish! i think you are very wise!!!! i have a 10 year old and a 1 year old. i'm so pleased that i could enjoy my daughter as a baby and as a toddler with no other young child demanding my attention. the same with my son i can enjoy him fully now my daughter is more independent and wants to spend time helping and learning about babys. if i ever have any more children i will wait till my son is at least 8! i think also a lot of people think if you have 2 children close in age that they will be close and a playmate which i don't think is always the case. i see women in town struggling with there double buggy and there 2 children under the age of 3 and i think why do that to yourself!!! but good luck to them if they can cope!!!!!
2006-10-23 02:26:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my first son is 16, my second daughter is 6, and i am only now 7 weeks pregnant.. and believ eme you, i would have waited if it was not the "age" pressure... i found it very good to have that gap between my first two children, primarily because i also wanted to build a professional career, study more, and i did. I also could afford to go on holidays with my son only, and give him the attention he needed as a child, before my daughter came. They never had any problem bonding, eventhough one is a teenager and the second one just a little kid, they play together, spend plenty of time laughing, and the big brother is very protective of his sister, while she knows she can run to him each time she needs support or company.. i really would have put the same gap before the third one, but age dictates a bit of the law here. still there will be 7 year difference between my daughter and the baby, and 17 years between my first born and my baby, and all of us are very much excited and lookign forward to having that last "monster". at least, i am happy with my choices, i havd my children, loved them and gave them 100% of the time they needed as they were growing, and did all the things i wanted to do to build a succesful professional career as well as a healthy marriage. So go for it, have your children when you are ready, there is no rule about 1 year or 10 year difference...!
2006-10-23 04:56:49 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is selfish, a bit odd or unusual, but not wrongas such. However, that is a very big gap, meaning your kids wont really get to be friends as they'll be so far apart in age. I understand not wanting to push a double buggy, but if you give them 5 years gap then the oldest will no longer be in a buggy when you have the next one and the gap isn't so extreme.
2006-10-23 00:06:58 · answer #4 · answered by peggy*moo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the selfish ones are the judgemental people judging you.
I have a 12 yr old and a 2 yr old.. i also had a couple in between, in 98 and 2000. I am very glad to be an older mom. I hope very much I will still be able to have children as i get older, because they are benefitting from my maturity. If you can do it and stay healthy and reasonably fit then go for it.
As for bonding, My brother is 10 yrs younger, and I am very close to him. My feelings towards him are somewhat maternal, as I did change a lot of his diapers and was responsible for him a great deal.. I have made sure to not make my older kids responsible for the younger one's care; as that was on me way too much. However, he is very protective of me too. So age really does have no bearing on bonding; what is important is how YOU feel as a mom; because its is THAT that they will pick up on.
And your kids will find something to complain about regardless of how far apart they are!
2006-10-23 00:04:19 · answer #5 · answered by It Works. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have just read through all the answers and have to agree that you are not selfish.......
and as for those people who are saying your kids won't get on or have anything in common, I disagree....
I am 30 and have 4 brothers....26, 22, 15 and 10,..........20 years difference!!!. The two younger ones and I spend loads of time together as I have a lil girl aged 6 who they love. My youngest brother has the bonus of sort of having 2 mums........ if my mum is busy or something he will automatically come to me.......
Your kids will benefit if they are close in age or not......just different benefits, that's all.
2006-10-23 00:23:50 · answer #6 · answered by EMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not selfish. You can have your child any time you want. I can't say that my parents were selfish that they only had me. Pretty lonely. You know what I mean? Maybe some of them can't have children or were or are hard for them to have a child. Having a baby is not a selfish deed. I am sure you k now that. don't worry about what people think.
2006-10-23 00:05:30 · answer #7 · answered by paula r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not selfish at all you children will get more of your attention.i have a 14 year old daughter and a 4 year old son.it wasnt an intenionally large gap thats the way it worked out.i do sort of think that having a big gap feels like my kids have been brought up as only children but thats not a bad thing .dont worry bout what other people think.
2006-10-22 23:54:44 · answer #8 · answered by JULIE B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no it isnt but remember that your children as siblings should have something in common besides genes. If your oldest is 20 and youngest is 2, the generations gaps are too great and they may not be "traditional" siblings but more of a older "parent" figure with a younger "child" figure. The only reason I am bringing this point of view forward is because you as a parent must keep in mind that one day you will pass on and your kids will only have each other.
2006-10-22 23:55:57 · answer #9 · answered by tay_jen1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's selfish because from a genetics point of view, because there is a greater chance of genetic mutation occurring in your body that is "uncommon" enough to affect your next child conceived. So you are making your child less fit. You will also have a greater chance of dying before he/she is old enough to look after himself. Generally if the idea of "selfishness" cross your mind, then your conscience is at work and that you are probably selfish. If you are adamant that you are not selfish, then you may need to check that it is not due to ignorance or stubborness of self-righteousness. You could be right and the others are wrong. So you need to find out what what's the value of being right here.
2006-10-23 00:02:11 · answer #10 · answered by black owl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No selfish but I would not wait 10 years that might be a little.
By the way 10 years apart the siblings will not know each other.
2006-10-22 23:54:04 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋