i ended my 6 year relationship with my boyfriend 3 months ago. he was violent and controlling towards to me and i found it very difficult to end the relationship but i knew that i had too. im in the process of having him released from our joint mortgage as he hasnt been paying his share of the mortgage. Im expecting him to be really difficult in consenting to this. He no longer lives at the property anymore.Anyway, he is constantly phoning me and leaving messages. he has even got his whole family phoning me and leaving messages!ive told him that i have nothing more to say to him and have since been ignoring all these calls and messages. what can i do to get him and his family to leave me alone?is this harassment?
2006-10-22 21:55:15 · 35 answers · asked by XCuteX 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is no equity in the property
2006-10-22 22:20:03 · update #1
First, continue to ignore his requests to speak to you. Do not tell him "no", just speak to him when YOU need to about business. A cold shoulder will work in the end. If he was controlling, it will take time for him to figure out that he is powerless. Save any messages that he leaves and start a log. If it continues, take the log to the police and consider a restraining order. Make every effort to never engage him in conversation. Even negative comments from you will feed his wackiness.
2006-10-22 22:01:25 · answer #1 · answered by The Dave 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It must be a tough time right now and it sounds as if the relationship wasn't working for you and it was probably best for you to call time on it.
But seriously, if there is equity in your house you need to be grounded about this and let him have his share.
You would want the same if it was you that was not living in the house and he had split from you.
His family loves him and is trying to look after his interests and it maybe it is harassment but they have good intentions they are looking after there own.
My suggestion is find a solution around the house that works for both of you, you will be happier as a result and you can't buy happiness.
The fairer you can be with him, the less likely that strong emotions will be involved. Right now he probably feels very aggrieved.
Don't engineer the facts about the situation so he looks bad, any dispute resolution, court etc will see through all of this and could hold you in poor light. Best to be straightforward, honest and yet still stick up for yourself.
Good luck little welsh girl
2006-10-22 22:03:43 · answer #2 · answered by lifeontrack2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your phone number and the locks. Buy a prepaid phone and give him THAT number so when you get finished with your mortgage negotiations, that number is finished as well.
As for the mortgage, try to find a way to pay both halves and if he happens to pay anything...- yay equity! This way you've stopped making your life about depending on him and his whims. He thinks he's undermining you but all he's doing is making an *** of himself and cementing in your mind your resolve to avoid him in the future.
2006-10-22 22:03:05 · answer #3 · answered by nixkuroi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go to the police,I know from experience men like this NEVER go away quietly..you say he was violent,did you ever go to the doctor or police before? you need a non molestation order or injunction but both require a certain amount of proof,start recording the phone calls,if you have nasty texts save them.you can report him for harassment,the police will have a word,but wont arrest till you have made 3 complaints about him..whatever you do dont go back hun you better off out of it & maybe consider moving for safety & peaceful life..good luck.
2006-10-22 22:05:51 · answer #4 · answered by Chocoholic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is get an court order against him and his family you said he was violent so be careful, if you just leave it he may find a way to come to your house and do something to you and you can't chase him away from the property because part of it is also on his name so get it of his name as soon as possible
2006-10-22 21:59:39 · answer #5 · answered by jessica_11_storm 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is harassment. I suggest you speak to the police (since he was violent in the past) and get a restraining order on him. You might also want to consider changing your phone number.
2006-10-22 21:58:08 · answer #6 · answered by Emma W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to be a little careful how you go about it all.
If you want him to consent to being taken off the mortgage.I suggest you humour him until the papers are all signed and it is all legal.Then if he continues to harass you take legal action and wipe him out of your life once and for all!!!
You could then give me a call as I am single! LOL...
2006-10-22 22:12:05 · answer #7 · answered by HIMSELF 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
restraining orders mean very little- Plus they don't just give them out. It takes ages befre the courts make that decision to get one issued out.
Start off y not responding to him, ignore everything he says even down to the nastiest insults- this will show that you don't care what he has to say. He'll try the swert stuff too- ignore this too- he'll turn around and call you more names. Ignore this. This will piss him off even more. Bu the key is, the less attention you give him, the more he'll get bored of it and soon it will die off.
If it doesn't die off, get some of your burly friends to break his legs.... Kidding. It might help to hang around with intimidating people for a while. My little brother is very intimidating, so i got a result.
2006-10-22 22:11:11 · answer #8 · answered by antagonist 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is harassment. You can go and get a restraining order from the police or sign out a warrant for is arrest for harassment.
2006-10-22 21:59:49 · answer #9 · answered by greylady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to act fast because he sounds unstable. call the police and log everything to date, then go for the restraining order, my friend in the same sit nearly got strangled in the middle of town over something similar. you mite not like the idea but you should consider movin , and i dont mean a few sts away either, i know you shouldnt have to and all that, but what would you rather have? piece of mind or sleepless nites?
2006-10-22 22:04:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋