my 3 year old is such an hand full?

Question

my 3 yearold when hes told to do something he starts hitting people espeacialy my 7 year old ive had a word with my health visitor and she said sitting him on the stairs for 5 minutes it doesnt work oh he also gets dla for his problem can any one help

Answer 1

I don't believe in sitting young children on the stairs because at three, the attention span is so short that they have no concept of time and they forget why they're there. Here's what I recommend you do.
Decide first in your own mind what he is absolutely not allowed to do. Hitting you or any other person or pet for instance. Now, when he does it, you act immediately, shout NO!! in your strongest most determined voice; (give no further explanations - he won't be able to understand them anyway) Instantly remove him from that person or thing and place him in front of a toy or other activity; if he tries to return - repeat the process. This will take a few weeks to work - maybe less. The secret is in the consistency - never once allow him to repeat the behaviour in your presence. If you can get his other carers to do the same, that would speed up the process. Remember Less words, More action, one LOUD shout and instant removal, no explanations, NEVER lose your temper and don't try lengthy time-outs and things like that; they are too harsh on young children and they wear out the mum because of the need to police them. I work in a group with mums and toddlers and anyone I've shown this to has had success. Especially with boys, who understand firm action much more than words, which tend to go over their heads. Always be firm, but gentle - there is no need to ever hurt a child emotionally or physically in order to teach what is and is not acceptable - just be consistent. The other half of it is - always show your appreciation for good behaviour - it gives them a sense of achievement and lessens the desire to be naughty.

Answer 2

My little girl used to bite and the time out on the stairs really does work - you need to immediately grab him stating firmly "we don't hit in this house" and plonk him on the stairs with no more discussion and walk away. When he follows you (which he probably will at first), pick him up and put him on the stairs again, and tell him that until he's stayed there for five minutes to think about what he's done, he's not allowed to be in the room with anyone else. If he keeps coming back, say nothing but return him to the stairs. He will eventually get the hang of it, and children hate being excluded. Five minutes seems like a lifetime to a child of this age and he'll hate it. It's really worth perservering on this as you need to nip it in the bud now as the bigger he gets, the worse the hitting will get. When he's done his punishment, welcome him back in and don't mention what he's done - just be normal. Good luck, it'll get better.

Answer 3

i think in general three year old push the boundaries. I have a three year old girl, and i think at this age they begin to feel much more independent and tend to 'find themselves. They think 'hey, i don't have to do that', they realise they are there own person. The time outs, like the health visitor sound like a good idea, BUT only if you stick to it. I'd begin with a warning though, and say 'if i ask you to do this, and you are naughty you'll have to sit on the naughty step for five minutes', so he has the chance to avoid being punished if he behaves. Praise him when he does something well, or does what you ask, and he'll soon realise bad behaviour doesnt get the attention, but good does! Hope this helps.

Answer 4

If you put him on the stairs for naughty behaviour you have to warn him first. If he ignores the warning, you must put him on the stairs for 3 minutes (1 minute for every year of his life). You have to get down to his level and firmly, but calmly, tell him why you have put him there. When he's done his 3 minutes, you then explain again why he was put there and ask for an apology. Then give him a hug. This technique will only work if it's done properly - if not it will just make his behaviour worse. Try watching Supernanny to see how to make this work. Also you will pick up loads of other tips and techniques for improving his behaviour.

Answer 5

Get a pshycotherapist. No not for the kid, for yourself. You will need it until they turn 4. LOL.

Sorry, but 3 year olds are the hardest. Respect and kneeling down to their level is the best solution when reprimanding. Keeping voices lower and instilling a good spanking if all else fails. That way they know you are still in control, not them. It is most important for the female/mom figure in the house to show a firm grip too.

Answer 6

I started spanking when my girls were one. May sound mean, but "spare the rod, spoil the child" it's our job to discipline & teach respect. Much easier to do at three than thirteen. You're not always going to win. They get tired, hungry, have a headache, and can't explain it to you. Cut some slack, but your kid has been given too much it sounds like. My 3 year old daughter will stand in the corner on demand, or end her fit at the count of 3 because she knows consequences follow! I work for a pre-school, & you're not the only one who has this problem. Society has taught us to allow our children to take on a role they're not ready for. He needs you to be Mommy! Your seven year old needs to know you love them too, and you'll look out for their well-being by not allowing anyone not even a sibling to beat up on them. Read "Raising up Boys" by James Dobson. Your son needs a male role model to back you up too! Here's my disclaimer...Make sure you are calm...or as calm as possible when disciplining though so it doesn't get out of hand. Spankings go on the butt. Not the legs, arms, face, stomach, or anywhere else on the body. Remember to guard your words because you are everything to that little boy. Your opinion matters. Remind him you love him, and that is why you aren't going to allow him to continue this behavior. He'll do much better in school, and life if he learns respect.

Answer 7

I love children, but some of them just need a good old-fashion whuppin' Although I will use corporal punishment as a last resort, I will never hesitate to use physical force when needed - especially if the kid was disrespecting and hitting other people.

If your 3 year old has a favorite toy or item, you can confiscate it from him or her whenever he or she does something bad. By using this method, you will not have to resort to corporal punishment. However, if your 3 year-old still disobeys you, then you gotta show him or her who's the boss.

Answer 8

The most important thing is to talk to them at the same level, meaning you are looking right at them and not standing over them looking down. Shouting usually never works, a calm and clear voice sometimes can do wonders. Set up a little calender, anytime he does something good let him put a little sticker on the calender.

Answer 9

Address him in a formal manner sit him down and have a nice chat to him and tell him its very wrong to do this .......respect is the first rule in childhood but once the familiarity of reprimanding him is often then he wont connect and see his wrongdoing. I used to use a naughty corner and leave her there for a minute or two but not at the time of a wrong doing but when she was engrossed in playing as its more effective. But let them know they're having a 1 minute standing in the naughty corner at a time that suits you. Good luck.

Answer 10

what he need is love and more love hes not getting enough time and love from you thats why hes throwing these tantrums hitting is just the way he grab your attension..as far as some people have told you to spank him dont ever ever ever do that you dont know how bad it is to spank a kid if you will spank him he will get worse and gonna get agressive..toddler is a loving age at this age they need lotta love..start the day by giving him hugs and kisses and than he himself and when he do these tantrums stuff polietly say no and divert his mind to t.v. or any other thing..when he hit scream out "NO" he will stop doing it..try to pass your kids childhood in love not in punishments..