he cries when he doesnt get his way, he like begs until he gets his way, i just dont understand. and he disrespects my mom, makes her mad, and the whole family, but i love him so much, get angry sometimes and toss him around(dont hurt em too bad) and i feel like **** that night, then repeat...how should i fix this chaotic kid. It seems im always the one getting yelled at, hit, and blamed by my mom, she always believes the first thing he says, then runs at me, and wont let me say crap , im tired of it. please give some good advice.
2006-10-22 21:35:23 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Hello!! :o) Your little brother has discovered ALL of the necessary 'buttons' to push - in each of you - in order to get his way. He has become an expert at manipulation. And it's working. And that's not a good thing. He is using the love you have for him [and the love his mother has for him] to HIS advantage. But what can you do?! First off... you are going to have to understand that the only person you can change - is YOU. You can't change your mom and you can't change your little brother. At least not directly. But what you CAN change is how YOU respond TO your little brother. Nothing will ever change unless YOU decide NOT to allow your brother to control you. And that's exactly what he is doing. HE is - in fact - the 'boss of you'!! And you are giving him permission to BE 'the boss'. [By reacting and responding to what he says and does exactly how he WANTS you to react and respond] You are going to have to break that manipulative cycle. Your little brother isn't going to stop - not on his own. For he is in the driver's seat. No one ever willingly gives up a position of power. But you can stop being a pawn in his 'game'. Now let me say.... it's unlikely that your brother is really all that aware of what he's doing. For he has been taught that crying and nagging 'works' and it DOES get him 'his way'. As the bigger brother - however - you are going to have to love your little brother enough to NOT given in to him. You are going to have to be strong enough to mean it when you say 'NO'. And not 'give in' no matter HOW dramatic he becomes. It's not 'love' to allow your brother to be a cry-baby. It's not 'love' to encourage him to be someone that few people are going to like. [As he gets older] An annoying 10 year old is one thing. An annoying 20 year old is something else. [If you know what I mean] The most effective way to deal with someone like your brother is through silence. In other words - by NOT responding. If he asks you to do something - and you don't want to do that something - simply say, "No thanks!!", and leave it at that. Don't explain yourself. Don't justify yourself. Don't allow yourself to get involved in HIS 'game' of trying to get you to change your mind. A 'NO' from you must mean 'NO'. PERIOD. The moment you ease up on that - is the moment your brother is back in control. Be nice. Be polite. Be loving. And walk away if necessarily. Keep in mind that the definition of 'love' is not 'be someones doormat'. I hope this helps. Craig!! :o)
2006-10-22 22:17:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give him attention and don't be mean...sorry, that's the best I can give, because sometimes that's all kids want. I know. I'm the youngest of three, and I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have- and still do -gotten jealous or sad or angry. It is not easy.
As for your mom, she shouldn't be believing whatever he says. He's younger, so of course he's going to be lying. I don't really see why she has any reason to believe your brother and not you!!
2006-10-22 23:46:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is fine he will grow soon and you and him will become best friends...just sit tight and he will get older and then you catch him..and you will be the one with the word of the wise and he will want to hang out with you and you lay down the law.and tell him ok if you persist in being the little menance you are you will never hang out with me ever..and then soon he will come around I know I had a sister like that..so if he doesnt change leave him behind..and your mom will tell him you are too young to go out with your brother..and soon you will see the change in him..Then you tell him Ok Mr Rude no more mean and rude stuff from you or you and me will not be..
hope I helped..and for right now just tell him..keep it up your day will come..if he is mean to you tell him everytime... Keep it up your day will come..and if he tells on you and he tells your mom you explain to her and say he will want to hangout with me when he is older..who wants to hang out with a obnoxious person..it starts now to correct him not when he is 16 years old and a hoodlum..
2006-10-22 21:47:20 · answer #3 · answered by ck1_content 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to do some of this stuff with my older sister. The main reason was because she didn't want to hang out with me and she was bossy when mom was out and left her "in charge" Try doing something like going to the park or something he wants to do that you like to do too. See how he interacts with his friends. But mainly he may see you getting more attention and he wants that too and being bad gets him that even though it is the wrong kind of attention. good luck
2006-10-24 18:38:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids need attention and is probably jealous of you because truth is, he wants the attention you get or probably he wants your attention and love and he tries to express that in a violent way...just spend more time with him like going camping together or biking aorund the neighborhood...he would appreciate i.
2006-10-22 21:39:45 · answer #5 · answered by Modelizer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now is your chance to be the Hero.
You can show him how to behave & you can help him.
He will look up to you.
And your Mom will really appreciate your help.
You will be a star by being his friend.
2006-10-22 21:46:56 · answer #6 · answered by anitababy.brainwash 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your mother should bring him to a therapist to find out what is wrong.
2006-10-22 21:44:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beat his lil *ss once and then he'll stop effin with ya...fear is the best motivator...
2006-10-22 21:44:24 · answer #8 · answered by wcbaseball4 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
look at the age difference and say i am on to bigger and better things
2006-10-23 06:57:52 · answer #9 · answered by callie girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
set a special thing that he would like.When he acks up tell him your not going to give it to him until he behaves.
2006-10-22 22:13:21 · answer #10 · answered by Arbeionna F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋