Should I loan my Best friend $ Four thousand so she can get a late term abortion?

Question

My friend has never said no to me when I asked for help and that is the way A friendship should be ......But my friend is 23 weeks pregnant And she wants to get an abortion because she broke up with her Fiance and Asked me for the money ........I feel I am helping her Murder Don't get me Wrong I am Pro Choice But 22 weeks is very far along ....I would only agree that is was not murder if the mothers life was in jeopardy ....But my friend is healthy
If I say no than that would mean I am not loyal to her as she to me because she has always been there for me
So I can't say No But does that mean I am part of the murder or Its not my problem where the money is going

Please note that you can get an Abortion up to 24 weeks at some clinics

Answer 1

I think you need to be fair to your friend and help her if she needs the help. I know you feel like your "murdering" but your not. Your helping your friend make the choice that she wants.
Its her body and her life that will be affected so at the end of the day its upto her. If you have the money then help her out knowing that you are helping your friend do what she feels right.
She wouldn't ask you if she wasn't certain its what she wanted.

Good look with making your mind up and whatever you do, make sure you are happy with your descision.

All the best

G

Answer 2

I, too, am pro-choice, but I agree that she is much too far along. At 23-24 weeks, the child reaches a point of viability where it can survive outside the womb if it should be born early.

I would stick to your guns on this one. I know she's your friend, but for all the tea in China, I would never ever compromise my morality, even for a friend.

And consider the operation itself. As she is so far along, she will have to have her labour induced, and give birth to the child instead of just having it removed by suction. I know she is confused and angry at this time, especially as her fiancee has left her very much in the lurch, but what changed from the time she split with her fiancee until now? I take it she wanted the baby before the breakup, because she is so far along to be asking for an abortion. So why all of a sudden decide you don't want it anymore? Raising this child alone will be difficult, but not impossible, especially with caring friends like you around her. Perhaps offer her the money to help her get set up with all the baby gear, and maybe a deposit on a rented flat.

If she is still against having the baby, see if she will agree to putting the child up for adoption. There are so many childless families who would give the baby everything it could possibly want and hope for.

I wish you the very best of luck. If you need any further advice or whatever, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Answer 3

I think there has to be a limit to anything,I have always been a pro choice person but at the same time I also thought the choice needed to be made in the early stages of pregnancy. I often say that if the choice can't be made in 3 months it shouldn't be made at all. I don't claim to know all the facts but I'm pretty sure that I would call 23 weeks murder,at that point you can no longer claim you're dealing with a clump of cells or dehumanize it by refusing to use the word baby. And it also sounds like your friend is doing it for all the wrong reasons,I mean she's not with this guy and all of a sudden she doesn't want a baby. Lend her the money if you will but I wouldn't,and most research I've seen says these are absolutely the worst types of abortions for the woman psychologically as well,just one more thing to think about,because if you help her and she gets this abortion she will probably think about it for the rest of her life.

Answer 4

Since it is your money , it is your problem where its going but ITS going for a close friend , a friend that has always been there for you.

It is a tough decision , and I bet reading all this wont make it any easy.

In my opinion ( I'm not against or for Adoption ) but I rather think of it like IF YOU WONT BE ABLE to Raise a child in high standard's then don't bother having one. He / she deserves a good life and if you cant provide him/her with these then DON'T HAVE THE BABY. But I guess there are times when things go wrong , not planned and all. But its a life , you have to take its responsibility before its born.

So the point is if tht kid is gonna make it then I hope your friend will be providing everything the baby deserves.

The other problem is Having a baby must be special esp from someone you love. I'm sure your friend is getting carried away in her feelings and needs moral support more then ever to think things straight before she does something.

Life will be tough on her with a baby in the future, IF you think she can handle it then say NO , but if she has made a decision try to accept it and respect her decision

Answer 5

You have given more than enough information in your question for you to arrive at your own answer. You stronly imply that the mother's physical life is not in imminent danger and therefore you consider abortion at 22 weeks to be tantamount to murder. This is your position. If she asked for $4000 in order to buy heroin, or to buy a gun to kill her ex-fiance, would you then loan her the money? It seems that heroin use would be less than death, and killing the ex-fiance would at least be the death of someone with some culpability.

So, you must decide if your relationship is such that you would help her to commit murder. These are your terms. It is true, that money is fungible, however, you know the purpose and if your friendship is as strong as you seem to think it is, then you likely have some influence on her. Offer to loan or even give her $4000 toward child care costs. That's just an idea. However, if you give her $4000 to have an abortion then you are clearly complicit in the act, just as if you had loaned her a gun for the expressed purpose of killing her ex-fiance. The onlly difference would be your likelihood of going to jail in the case of a legal late-term abortion. If you are being altruistic about your friend's need then the possibility of a jail sentence in one case and not the other, should not be a factor.

There is no reason that she cannot offer the child for adoption. Infants are highly sought by loving and well-to-do couples. It certainly is better than certain death. Offer her $4000 to give the child up for adoption and to repay you with the proceeds that she can legally acquire in the process. Just another option.

In any event, I think you already see your way clear that giving her money for a particular purpose does indeed make you culpable of the intended act. If she were a real friend who was intent on abortion, then she would not have told you her plan. In any event, don't facilitate something that you have already concluded is wrong. You have said yourself that it is murder. I assume that you conclude that murder is wrong.

The link below shows you results of abortions on far younger children than 22 weeks gestation. At 22 weeks, the baby will be delivered all but the head, the brains sucked out, then the head deivered. The video below is for more "routine" abortions.

MATURE CONTENT!! NO ONE IS ASKING YOU TO VIEW THIS. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN LEISURE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. ADULTS ONLY! DON'T CLICK ON THE LINK IF YOU PREFER TO LIVE IN IGNORANCE. IF YOU WISH TO LIVE WITH THE RESPONSIBILITY THAT KNOWLEDGE BRINGS THEN PLEASE PROCEED.

Answer 6

I'm not going to get into the pros and cons of abortion so I'm just going to say No because there a so many other things that you could do with this money.
YOu could give it to me.
Donate it to an animal shelter
Donate it to a favorite charity
Get a makeover
Spend a day a really good spa
Go on Vacation
Use it for X-mas shopping
Buy shoes
Buy a new entertainment system
Buy clothes
Buy new furniture
redecorate
Pay bills
pay taxes
or put it away for a rainy day.
Do you really have $4000 just laying around? Did I mention that you could give it to me for my X-mas shopping? Theres a lot you can do with this money. Do you really want to do that? And a wish man once said "NEVER LOAN MONEY TO FRIENDS OR FAMILY" because you'll never get it back.

Answer 7

It's not just a moral question - can you afford to loan her that much money? Would she pay you back? Once you answer that one to the best of your ability, then try the next one. Personally, I wouldn't do it. In my opinion she is being very selfish. If she was going to have the baby before her bf. dumped her, why can't she still have it, but give it up for adoption? There's 1000's of people out there who would give an arm and a leg to be in her position, and she wants to kill a healthy baby just 'cause the boyfriends left her? Not on as far as I'm concerned. If she was prepared to go full term before, there's no GOOD reason why she shouldn't still do it - put that to her. Offer to help support her through the adoption process. Who knows? Once she sees the baby, she may change her mind.By the way, babies can and DO live if born at 23 weeks. Everything is wear it should be and everything is working - it is very close to murder. Is it actually legal?

Answer 8

I think that if she wanted this baby in the first place, she should still want it now even if she has no husband there with her. It's a difficult problem & she needs to be really really sure of her decision. She is probably over emotional & not thinking straight as her bf has left her & she is pregnant & he horrmones will be running wild. If she goes ahead with it & regrets it later, she will resent you for giving her the money. Chances are she will get back together with her fiance anyway. It's not the most honest thing to do but I would probably tell her u don't have enough money. Friend or no friend, I personally wouldn't want to get involved in a life-changing decision like that because if she regrets it, she will blame you.

Answer 9

Would you lend her $4,000.00 if she was going to plot to murder an adult? If you feel that abortion is murder then you have the obligation to yourself and to her to speak up for your belief's. Refusing her the money is not being a disloyal friend. Loyal friends say no sometimes. If she truly does not want this baby, believe me their are thousands of childless couples out there who would be more than glad to adopt her child. You are a loyal friend, you will be there with her no matter what she decides to do but compromising your belief system just because she is your friend is not the way to go; you will have the burden of abortion on your shoulders to bear if you lend her the money. Don't do it. I am pro-life but I would tell you the same thing even if I wasn't. If you compromise your own morals and ethics you will suffer in the long run. I have prayed for your situation.

Answer 10

Please check out this website- It is about Babys that are born alive at 24 weeks after failed abortions!

http://www.worldmagblog.com/blog/archives/020703.html

Here is some more info on a abortion prodedure!

A medical termination can be performed up to 24 weeks. This involves giving the patient a course of two different types of medicine. The first medicine (mifepristone) is taken by mouth at the hospital or clinic, with the woman returning 48 hours later. She will then be given a medicine called a prostaglandin, either by mouth or as a vaginal pessary. The termination usually occurs within 12 hours of this when the woman passes the pregnancy vaginally. Pain, is often experienced but pain relief will always be available. (Surgical termination is also available at the 20-24 week stage although this is more complicated and requires a two-stage process. The first stage involves stopping the heart of the foetus and softening the neck of the womb, and the second stage occurs the next day by surgical evacuation.)


The type of termination a woman is offered will depend upon the length of her pregnancy, the facilities available and also her personal preference.

I thought the part where it says that the first part of the proecedure is stopping the babys heart says it all!!

Im sorry but i think you have to say No on this one, It will be on your concious for a very long time!

Goodluck and i hope you sort everything out!

Answer 11

Judging by your question I feel you have already made up your mind. You say you don't want to be party to murder and you are pro-choice. What's your choice, you sound as though you don't want to apart from the fact that she has never said no to you, but did you ever put her in this position? I would say flatly NO and explain that there are alot of poeple out there that cannot have children and if she decides to go ahead with the pregnancy, she can always have the baby put up for adoption later on if she feels she cannot cope with the baby. Also tell her that you will help her and give her all your support during the pregnancy and the birth and if she decided to keep the baby, you will supprt her with that decision also. Instead of making you feel uneasy about it why not do as I suggested and make someone less fortunate than herself, have some joy with a new and much longed for baby.