How should I handle a crazy neighbor?

Question

My neighbour has some kind of a bi-polar problem. She screams all the time at her husband and daughter and gets depressed often. She does not work and doesn't do anythig else. sometimes she comes over to my appartment and wants me to help her with her depression. she takes it for granted that I will run to be with her at any time and that I even know what her problem is. Her husband is very passive and does not talk to me and seems to want to coverup the problems. I am not what you can call a "friend" of hers, I am just a neighbour that lives next door by chance. I have no idea of how to deal with this problem, I don't even know her very well. she disterbs my family life when she comes over with her depression, she expects me to leave everything i am doing and makes me feel gilty if I don't. One time we had to call the police because it was past midnight and she was screaming in the hallway. I am realy not capable of helping her.
what should i do?

Answer 1

Talk to the husband and tell him if he wants to help his wife, to have her evaluated for depression. This is not helping the daughter to grow up in this situation. You could try reporting her for abuse to the daughter if the husband won't act.

Answer 2

Good luck. My husband dislikes dogs barking as well. We had a new neighbor with a dog who barked all the time. He, too, went to the police and filed a complaint. He was lucky enough that the dog's owner, our next door neighbor, went to the station to answer to it drunk at 10:00 am. The police kept after him then. He ended up moving. The people who moved in have 2 dogs, but are very good about, well, being good neighbors. I swear, for the most part, the barking goes in one ear and out the other for me. But he hates it. Maybe keep after the police. If there's an ordinance, they should have to enforce it. What about writing to city council and/or the mayor? Someone in city hall? Hope you get some peace and quiet!

Answer 3

you answered your own question. Your not exactly a friend...she disturbs your household....your just a happen to be neighbor, etc...You obviously have a good heart or you would have told her you've had enough already, and don't want to be involved...You may however have to not be so nice, and tell her you can't be involved in it anymore because it is not in your home, and you have your own life to lead, suggesting she go seek counceling because you can't be her next door neighbor councelor anymore....Geez man, trying to just live your life, and relax when you can, and she wants to take up your free time, that is totally not fair, dump her problems in your lap, and then leave, and I'll bet it leaves a negative imprint on you, and just don't want it in your face anymore...Don't blame you a bit for venting that here!....I had a crazy neighbor once, and I had to point blank cold sholder her, cause she drove me nuts....not going to suck the energy out of me, have other things I'd rather be doing, even if it is nothing at all......but peacefully doing it....

Answer 4

Tell her to quit coming over. Sounds like her husband might be passive bc she has control over him. Also she is being abusive to her husband and her child and needs help. Try to talk to her husband and let him know that you dont like her coming over to use you like that an she needs help. Tell him that if he loves his daughter he will get his wife into therapy bc his daughter doesnt deserve to live that way. Its one thing yelling at an adult and its another yelling at a child. You could call your local DHS anonymously and ask them about the situation concerning the child and then make your decision from there. If its not for your sake, think about the child.

Answer 5

Leave the lady alone---completely. If she is bi-polar, she is not responsible for her behavior.You would not want to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.The best thing you can do is keep a journal, in case she does do something, you will have proof of her behavior, dates, time and what you know happens.She sounds manic to me. Never be in a room with her without an escape route for yourself...BE CAREFUL.

Answer 6

I had a neighbor like that, but she had a drinking problem.
I had times I shut my door on her and locked it. She would pound on it.
Maybe if you wrte her a note and read it to her when she isn't in depression. Then give it to her. Tell her that you arn't capable to take care of her when she goes into one of her funks. Then keep your door locked. And call the cops. Tell her husband the same thing. And give him a note too. I have learned in life to document everythying. Have them sign them if you can. Then stick to your guns. Call a cop every time and eventually they will get a clear picture of her mental health and maybe then she can get the help she needs. Her husband sounds like he is living in denial. He needs to know that you can NO longer help her. If she scares you......call the cops and tell them. No one should live in such fear.

Bless you for helping her, but as you know, you can't keep doing this. And please NEVER feel guilty. Don 't give her that control.

Answer 7

Maybe yoy need to actually talk to her about seeing someone- I was getting almost suicidal when I started menopause and spent at least on day in tears- sarafem SAVED me- my husband went thru a VERY hard time with a hostile and agressive(physically) boss and zoloft and zanax gave me back the man I married- its both physical and mental-`when he got stressed he wouldn't eat and lived on cokes- caffine and sugar- don't think that didn't affect his reactions or personality. Maybe you need to speak to her husband alone and tell him a little white lie- like you have your own crisis to deal with and you just cannot deal with her- tell her the same thing.

Answer 8

give her a list of places where she can get help and offer to call one for her. Every time she shows up ask her if she has called them yet and if she hasn't, tell her you will call one for her right now. In a short time she will eithert 1. get the help or 2. stop bothering you because she doesn't get the feed back she wanted from you.

Answer 9

Ignore them!

Answer 10

move on