was my girlfriend raped and if so why wont she talk about it?

Question

ok all,

I got these nasty messages from my girlfriends ex this morning saying the following.

1) im gonna finish what I started, your baby with legs so soft, lips so red and great brown eyes, she wanted to play all night and I loved seeing her cry with pain

2) you wanna talk to--------- well ok, im letting her go home now, she didn't want it but I did it anyway, so great when you see them cry and beg to for me to stop aint it? and

3) oh dont worry, I didn't hurt her too bad, not as bad as I wanted to anyway.

I think she was though my concern is why wont she tell me that she was raped and what am I able to do in order to show that I care, I already emailed her and said that I'm here for her no matter what and that I know what happened...

so why wont she just say that she was raped and also how can I help her in this???

SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY!

Mitch

she only went to get her handbag and didn't want to stay there.

Answer 1

first of all I am so sorry this happened to your girlfriend and you.
rape is such a terrible vicious crime, and often nothing is done about it.
although she shouldn't, I'm sure your girlfriend feels ashamed, embarrassed, and dirty. she probably feels guilty and that she's somehow to blame for this. she may also be is shock, and that could be the reason she won't tell you what happened.
you sound like a great guy, and you've done everything right, but she still needs to go to the hospital to get help, she has been hurt and violated and the doctors have rape kits there to collect evidence of what happened. they will call the police also, and get things started toward arresting and pressing charges against this jerk. and you need to make copies of these messages that you got from him. they can be used in court too.
just keep doing what you're doing and be supportive of her and tell her that she needs to go to a hospital and the police. this guy needs to be put away.
you are helping her by standing by her through this and letting her know you're there for her. being raped just makes you feel so terrible about yourself, and I'm sure that's how she's feeling right now, and she's probably afraid of losing you. it will take time for her to get better. and she's very fortunate to have a boyfriend who cares so much.

Answer 2

Maybe she wasn't and just doesn't want you to know, or that she was, and does not want you to know. Have you shown her the email. If this is true, you can turn it over to the Police, seriously, but he did not mention her name. You would have to get her cooperation. If this is true, which it may not be, you could help her press charges. She may not want her parents nor anyone to find out, you just have to help support her, but she has to come around and participate. You could say, he will do this again, and maybe that will help her come out with it. This other person is not a good person, and sounds demented. I would not let it go, and try to find out more. Why don't you call him up and say what did you mean by that , you like to hurt her, and see what he says. If he denies it, then just know that he is either playing games, or something is wrong. I would be tempted to turn it over to the Police. Let them check it out. He could be going into a dangerous person, and one day might even kill someone, so I think it needs to be investigated. He could have threatened her. . just turn it over to the Police, I don't know if I would tell her or not, just get the advise of the Police, especially if she will not talk about it, It sounds very fishy, and strange. Let the Police knock on his door and ask him some questions about that email, with his email address on it, and in front of his parents, and see what he says. That will either teach him a lesson, or catch someone who is leaning toward a dangerous mental mind towards women. If he is a mental case, and he gets off getting caught or punished, then he will determine it is fun game to play, and try it again.

Answer 3

i hope you saved thos messages because if she was raped u may be able to use them to add to her case. its hard to admit to being raped u feel ashamed like it was your fault tell her it isnt her fault and she really needs to pursue the issue so t his creep doesnt do it to someone else if hes done it once he may do it again from the sound of those posts this guy is sick and needs to be arrested try calling the police and showing them the posts maybe u can get him arrested for harrassment and with him being locked up itll be a lil easier for her to talk about it but if she was the sooner she got to a dr the stronger her case would be

Answer 4

maybe you should go see her face to face and ask her what happened to her when she went to go get her bag. For Whatever she says tell her that you here for her. Those are some scary messages, find out if what he texted you really happend and if it did, don't delete them! You could possibly use them to prove to the cops what he did.
But diffently go to her face to face. and tell her it's not her fault. rape victims tend to think it was their fault for some odd reason. She's probably just afraid to say annything to you. the sooner she tells you what happend, the sooner you guys can take it to the authorities. Be there for her and good luck. I hope nothing happened.

Answer 5

you are a good boy friend. I would take the message to the police and ask to if the special victims unit can help her. She may be inbarrassed, ashamed, scared. Go to the police and see what they say. don't pressure her, it will just make her feel worse. give her all the support she needs but also go to the police ASAP

Answer 6

That's a tough one. The ex might just be trying to piss you off, so you might not want to jump to conclusions immediately...just chat with her to see where she's at mentally, and if they guy really did rape her just be supportive whether or not she decides to report it...

Oh by the way, whatever you do, DO NOT delete that message from your voicemail...It may be valuable evidence in the future rape/harassment case

Answer 7

it is very hard at first and she mite will never talk about it. i have friends who have been threw stuff like this but dont talk about it. this is a very personal problem and very hard thing to deal with. here is some stuff i got off a site maybe this will help just let her heel on her own, go to a support group with her or something...and she needs to report this to the police or you do....good luck

Complications
Some women are not able to fully recover from the emotional impact of a rape. Many develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), an anxiety disorder characterized by recurrent nightmares, flashbacks of the rape, social withdrawal, anxiety, depression, and emotional numbness. PTSD can be treated with psychotherapy and antidepressant medications.

After rape, a large percentage of women have difficulty re-establishing relationships with their spouses or partners. If they are unattached, they may be very apprehensive about dating.

Recovery
Recovering emotionally from rape can be a long and difficult process. Be patient with yourself. Each person has a different way of coping and healing. Some women want to carry on with their routine as much and as soon as possible. Others find it helpful to take time off from work and other responsibilities. Here are some things you can do to help yourself heal:

Seek Support From Family and Friends
Seek support from family members and friends who can offer comfort without blame or control. It’s good to have a mix of people who can support you in various ways. For example, some people are better than others at dealing with intense emotions. Others may be good at the more practical things, like watching your kids while you go to a medical appointment.

Consider Counseling
A rape crisis center or hotline counselor can be a good source of emotional support. This type of counselor can provide you with information about recovery and resources, and can serve as an advocate to help you obtain services.

You may also want to see a mental health counselor, social worker, or psychologist, particularly if it’s taking longer than expected for you to get through the recovery process. Sometimes rape can bring up feelings and memories from past trauma (such as sexual abuse), or conflicts about self-worth, trust, control, and sexuality.

Try a Support Group
Most communities have support groups for victims of sexual assault. These groups help break down the isolation, secrecy, and shame felt by many victims. Members of the group are at different stages of healing. They share their experiences, coping strategies, and progress.

Recovery from rape can be a slow process. You may find that the rape has permanently changed your life in some ways. As you go through the stages of recovery, you will find that, in time, you think less and less about the rape. It will no longer dominate your emotions. As you set goals and achieve them, little by little, your life will eventually move forward.

Answer 8

Keep all of the "evidence" that you have and contact the police and explain the situation. They will be able to give you more information. Most of all, be supportive and understanding considering everything your girlfriend has already been through.

Good luck!

Answer 9

she's still traumatised. don't try to get her to talk about it. just be there for her. if she doesn't want to see you, let her be because she needs some time. drop a message that you'll be waiting to give her help or a listening ear anytime.

Answer 10

O.K if a guy f*cked you in the butt, would you want to talk about it? Put yourself in her shoes.