I can't help but miss my father a lot. He passed away and I can't get over it. Do any of you all feel like me?

Question

He died last year and I took care of him for two years. He had esophageal cancer. I don't remember spending much time like in high school cuz I was always out. Now I realize all the advice he gave me was so right and I was just so wrong. I miss him so much that I end up crying a lot like now. Those who've lost parents or loved ones... do you all feel lost also? I feel lost.I really do.

Answer 1

I'm lucky enough to still have both of my parents. However, my husbands father passed away on August 1 of this year. He is absolutely devastated. His dad died of a brain tumor, now my husband is convinced he has a tumor also & will die very soon. The death of a loved one is hard. My sister died when I was 17, she was 24. It took me 5 years before I could visit her grave, because I couldn't accept she was gone. Just try to remember, your Dad probably understood, you were young & he knew you need to enjoy life also. Its hard, but you will forgive yourself. Its good to shed the tears, You loved your dad. My prayers are with you.

Answer 2

I too lost my father to cancer (his was lung) -it will be 2 years this x-mas. Your question jumped off the page at me! Our relationship was quite a bit different though. When he was diagnosed, we had just recently been reunited after a 15 year astrangement. (How I wish I could have those years back!) We were blessed with the opportunity to make what was wrong, right. He had 10 years sobriety at that point and WOW - he was a completely different person! I was so close to never knowing this side of him and that terrifies me. I am grateful for the time we had and what we were able to accomplish in that time. I don't want to sound ungrateful for the gift I was given but I want more!!!! I didn't get to be daddys little girl. I didn't have enough time with him! I have no doubt he loved me...I just hope he knew how much I loved him. Admired the man he became. Sometimes when I least expect it (like tonight) the tears will start their seemingly endless flow. I grieve not just the loss of my father but also for all that will never be. I can still hear his voice, feel his arms wrapped around me. I remember as a kid crying over him, missing him - now as an adult, I'm doing much the same thing. I'm sure there's a lesson there someplace and with a little luck I'll someday make sense of it but for today, I'll be content just to cry one less tear than yesterday! Best of luck to you

Answer 3

oh honey still too this day i still feel that way. when i was 13 years old i lost my mother then when i was 19 i lost my dad. Now at 27 i lost my grandmother. You know i had my little break down today about them cause of the holidays coming up. Oh it's hard as hell. I can remember one day me and my dad was talking cause this guy really hurt me and i will never forget what he told me.He said you know Steph you will expernt all types of love not one love is going to be the same. And you know i have holded that close to my heart ever since. And all the stuff he would say to me and i would get mad because i knew he was right all the time. You know i can't explain why things like this happens. All i can say i know there is a reason for everything. Sometimes we want to know why that reason is. You know sometimes life ain't fair . But god said it was never going to be easy. And you will always hurt no matter what but as time passes by it will get easier i promise. You take care and remember he is in a better place. So keep your head held up high and remember he will always be with you. Take care, and god bless you.

Answer 4

2 1/2 years ago, my 29 year old brother died of a massive heart attack. He had other medical conditions that contributed to it. Diabetes, high blood pressure, and he was overweight. It took 6 months of crying everyday, all day before I could start thinking of moving on in my life. My daughter was 14 at the time and she handled it better than I did. It gets easier over time...not better, but easier. They say there is a reason for everything. I think the reason for my brother was his medical problems were only going to get worse, according to his doctor after the fact. And once I came to the conclusion that if he had to have the heart attack, I was glad it happened when it did. He had his attack while he was picking his truck (both of my brothers drove 18 wheelers) up from the lot. 30 minutes later, he and our other brother would have been on the interstate and a whole lot of other people could have been hurt or killed had he had the heart attack while he was behind the wheel. I was able to deal with it easier when I realized that and the fact that he would not be in any pain anymore. My prayers and thoughts are with you. It just takes time. It will eventually get easier.

Answer 5

I lost someone really close to me that I had been with for over 30 years. He passed away 6 months ago, and I still miss him so much that I, too, end up crying a lot. The hardest part sometime is that I cry unexpectedly at my new job, that people around me think that I am wierd. I just hurry to the lady's room, so that I don't have to explain myself.

Answer 6

Don't be hard on yourself. This takes a long time. You will get through this,I know that my words can't change what's happened...but when I read your story it touched my heart,I can see that you are still struggling, I pray for you to be uplifted and your joy restored.Grieving is such a hard process, sometimes it must feel like 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. Be kind to yourself, take little steps and give yourself permission to feel bad without doubting whether you have the right to feel that way.Everyone reacts to loss differently and while we may share some feelings and thoughts, there is no right or wrong way to experience this. Grieving is a process, one with no set time frame for "progress" or "success". think of it as a journey that is long and difficult, with bumpy spots and smooth ones, hills and valleys. Sometimes we need to travel alone, other times we need friends and family to help us through. But I don't think the journey ends. Rather there may be points where we stop to rest, to recoup and gather our thoughts, but I don't think we ever come to a complete stop.Sometimes we want to confront God and demand an explanation, an apology, ask Him why He took someone who meant so very much to our heart's.I lost my step father when I was a young child,I still cry years later because I hurt so bad from missing him.I have heard people say that time heals all wound's,I beg to differ....I know this is harder on you and your family then it is on any of us, and for that I am so very sorry.Pat yourself on the back for caring so much about him...my personal belief that the dead have down time. Call it 'the big sleep', call it 'asleep in Jesus', call it what you will. But I believe that upon death, the spirit removes to some other place. Perhaps it spends time recovering from the world's grievances, perhaps it is not at all aware of the former life, death, loved ones, etc., perhaps it isn't aware of anything. But I believe that when Jesus returns to our world, and yes, I do believe He will, the dead in Christ will rise first to be with Him, then the living in Christ shall be with Him. It's my opinion that at that point in time,You will finally see your father again.don't give up in yourself or in God.Go ahead and cry. It's okay Don't fight your feelings. Guilt can be a normal part of grief.Each day may seem like a burden, sometimes it will be hard to face.I offer you my sincerest condolences on the loss of your father.although there are no words to ease your grief at this difficult time I do hope that my words will offer you some kind of comfort.Understanding the nature of grief can help us better cope with loss. Grief is a natural, healthy process that enables us to recover from terrible emotional wounds.If you need someone to talk to you can email me...Im up to listen and offer any advice that I can...Good Luck..

Answer 7

so so sorry for your lost. I watched my brother inlaw go throw what you just discribed. He really loved his father, and my sister and him took care of him in there home for two years. He died of colon cancer. Boy, it was ruff for him. I think what really helped after he died was that my husband and I made our selves available and we would just listen while he would tell us stories about his father. Find a good friend and just talk about him. The more you talk the better you will feel. I myself havent lost my mom or dad yet. but it will happen and honestly I cant say how I will be emotionally after. God ,I hope I will have a good friend.
My other very good, good friend, went through a bad experience she was watching tv with her husband laughing and talking next min. his died. Anurisum, Her support was her church, let me tell you. She was a rag. You could of washed the floor with her. She looked like she got hit by a bus. For weeks friends and family and church brought her food. I wasnt working at the time so I was trying to keep her busy. I watch her for a whole year. she told me the first 3 to four months she was in a comma.
I know because of her faith and friends thats what pulled her out of the fog. 5 years later she is now married very happy and her 4 children teenagers now. Are well ajusted and seem to have pulled out of the fog. She tells me this experience has brought her family closer to the church. Most all the friends and family that helped her most of them had lost some one close to them.
So the moral of this story is, If you know of some one who has lost a family member or friend. Make your self avaliable to listen.
It really works. Best Wishes.

Answer 8

No, I can not say I feel the same way, but there is a reason... My mother passed away last august from breast cancer. I am now 22 and going to grad school. People say the hardest part of loosing someone is moving on, but you haven't lost anyone. You have to know that he still loves you and although you do not see him, he is still there... he is watching over you and he wants you to make the best of your life. It is still good to think about him, but he knows you love him too. God's Peace- I will pray for you

Answer 9

What you are feeling is absolutely normal. And, you'll feel like this for a while. Then, eventually you'll have some time when you don't feel bad at all, and then -- wham... you get sad again. This cycle of grief is normal.

My wife's dad died of brain cancer 4 years ago, and she told me yesterday how much she misses him.

When you get sad, don't try to push the feeling down. Sometimes it helps to pull out family pictures and see happier times. It also helps if you can talk to people you trust about how you are feeling.

Answer 10

I am so sorry Chi for your loss. I know the pain that is involved when you lose a Parent. The pain gets less but for me the missing never does. I have Jesus in My Life and believe me..He holds me up in all situations and I love Him so much. I am thankful every day that Christ is in my heart and the Holy Spirit holds me close so I can bare anything and everything on Earth. I invited you to go back to reading the Holy Bible and talking to God like He is your New Best Friend like your father was. He will give you courage I promise if you truly want Him back...Nothing can stop Him from being a part of you and you apart of His Family. God bless you in all ways. Love in Christ...missleslie {31 yrs of knowing my Jesus and I have lost many loved ones}