What things should a couple know when planning/trying for on a second child?

Question

Our daughter is 19 months old at this time. We are not currently trying for a second child, but in the talking-about-it phase. We want our children to be no more than 3 or 4 years apart. Our daughter is already potty trained, so thats not an issue. What things should we know, do, think about, etc, at this stage, and if/when I become pregnant and have baby #2? Thanks so much!

in response to mr_soylen's answer:
Where did I indicate that our desire to have another child is to impress anybody? We have always planned on having 4 children, and our experience with our daughter has been so wonderful, that we are even more sure that we want more. I certainly hope that someone with a mind-set like you isnt procreating. Either answer the question that was asked, or just keep to yourself. We enjoy being parents, thats that. I was just asking about preparation for a second child, because it becomes more of a juggling act at that point, and any pointers would be helpful.

Answer 1

listen, candy pants, glad you think your mom of the year, but if you wanting to pop out another 'bundle of joy' just to impress the nieghbors or help your relationship with your wonderful 'man' your doing it all wrong. But if you want to nuture and raise another baby because you love them, go for it.

Answer 2

Don't tell her immediately.

Naturally, you'll want to tell her when it becomes obvious, but if she's three years old and you're pregnant, 1/4 of the amount of time she's been on earth will go by between the moment she hears "we're going to have a baby" and the day the baby shows up. Nine months is a LONG LONG LONG time to a 3 or 4 year old.

At the moment, especially since you're not even trying, just in the talking-about-it phase, I don't think you need to do anything in particular in regards to your older child at all. It could just confuse her if she's part of the "talking about it" phase, and then there is not a baby immediately forthcoming.

I wrote at length some ideas for a "big sister" (one to three or four years old) to have help dealing with new baby here:

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061011112544AAOcnCZ

That post includes a lot of ideas we used and had some real success with with our older son (who was 20 months old when my youngest was born).

Best of luck! God bless you and your family!

Answer 3

You know all the hard bits from having had your first one. The only extra thing is to make sure that number one gets lots of attention when number two gets there. It is so easy for a child to get that "left out" feeling and this can lead to some nasty behavior problems. Good luck and wait until they are teenagers - that's when the fun really starts.

Answer 4

You should not think so much before doing it. If you want a second child, go ahead! You KNOW you'll be extra tired, extra tense etc... but that should not stop you! I got pregnant when my first son was about 19 months too, we involved him from the start, he helped us choose the name for his baby sister and we took him to the echography when the baby's shape was easier to make out! And we thought about a little present for HIM too, on the day of his sister's birth so that he did not feel left out.

Answer 5

I got pregnant with my second one when my first was 18 months. There is really no big difference. You love them just the same. I think it's when they are older you need to worry. I have two girls, and when they are 15 and 17, I'm going to have my hands full!! I would say go for it, having two is great. I remember thinking now we are a family with two kids. Not that we weren't before, but more so.

Answer 6

Its been my experience that the older child will get jealous of the younger one and act younger to get attention. They'll steal toys from eachother and fight for attention.

Answer 7

Make sure your stable; financially & emotionally. Thats the best advice I can give you.

Answer 8

do you wanna go halves on a baby