Why do people think Military Spouses are lazy?

Question

I'd really love to know where the misconception came from that military spouses are uneducated, lazy, stay-at-home moms? It really drives me mad. As a highly educated (master's degree) military spouse, it pains me to think that we(spouses) are looked at as ignorant. I may be a stay-at-home mom right now (my son is 3) but that certainly doesn't make me lazy. Any thoughts from other military spouses out there?

Just to clarify, I'm 30 years old and my husband joned the Air Force 3 years old (yeah, I know, he joined late)

Sorry, he joined the Air Force 3 years ago. My 3 year was calling me and I typed in old instead of ago. I must becoming one of those ignorant spouses :0)

crzyfiregirls-- I will return to work when my son goes to school. I had quite a thriving career before my son was born and was able to save quite a bit before the birth of my son. I want to be able to raise my son myself, not be raised by a daycare facility. We have the means for me to stay home to raise him for the first 4 years, so I am :)

Answer 1

Well, fact of the matter is that many military spouses ARE uneducated. I don't think they're lazy though, and I see nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mom.
I'm an Army wife, and I keep house. That's my job.
But what's difficult is finding military spouses who are into the same things I am.
I own well over 600 books, and I've read nearly all of them. I love art, and all kinds of music (opera, rock, and classical are my favorites!). I love going on wine-tastings, and I usually serve wine with dinner, if we have company.
I love discussing politics, theology, and history.
And I love love love antiques!
I haven't found more than one or two military spouses that liked even half the same things I do. My experience is that there aren't too many military wives out there who don't have children (which we don't. Yet. Still trying.). That makes it especially difficult.
So perhaps that's why people think that. I've met a few smart ones, but I've also met some that made me wish I was keeping company with a rock, they were so dull.

Answer 2

There are people out there that think those in the military have it all, that they get paid these great wages, they travel the world, spouses don't have to work and the list goes on honey. They have this idea that military life is a breeze, not realizing that often the AD member is away and so you are being both parents. That you fear the phone ringing or knock on the door. That you have just as much of an education if not more than he does. That so many holidays are not spent together. I know plenty of wives who have degrees including Masters or Doctorates. I also know wives that dont have a degree but instead have spent so much time volunteering that they should have one. Others who helped their husbands get a degree so they should have a part of it. Brush it off and realize how lucky you are to have a man that loves you and a precious child. That obviously she didnt know what she was talking about and that she isn't worth the time or the effort. She couldn't handle the military lifestyle most likely.

Answer 3

I think some military wives are lazy...just like some civilial wives are lazy. It all depends on the person and their own situation. I'm a military wife.. and a SAHM (stay at home mom) But not by choice. We've recenty been stationed in Germany and the base we're at is closing down so there are no job openings. If I had the choice I would be working right now, but unfortunately I dont have the choice!! Now next summer when we PCS again we will be going to a much larger base with many more options and my son will be old enough to be left in someone elses care for a few hours a day. I think the women that would be included in the "lasy military wife" category are the women who marry men in the military for the money and the benefits. Little do they realize our soldiers dont make as much as they think!! We're barely above the poverty line!!!! ahhhh ignorance is bliss!!

Answer 4

I am not a military spouse, but i did serve in the army. I know where the misconception comes from. while there are many wonderful women and men who have spouses in the military and they truly love them. There are those who take advantage of the young ones coming in for the first time. I had a friend in the service who meet a young lady. he was smitten the moment he met her. all of his friends were not as sure and with in a week they got married. One year went by and he came up for transfer to Germany. he couldn't take his wife right away, so he left her and there one year old son behind until he could get there paperwork together or so he thought. after four month's, he got leave to come home so he could bring his family to Germany. When he got back he found that his wife and son were gone, the house was empty and all the money was taken out of the bank. This poor guy was devastated. I have a lot more stories just like that. Its like having 10 bad seeds in a batch of 20. I know its bad when people are lump all together and i hope someday that will change. and people will realize that 2 bad seeds doesn't mean all of them are no good. good luck to you

Answer 5

I think the misconception comes from the same source as the one that says "we have such a great cushy lifestyle with all our free housing allowances, food money and medical benefits." Don't worry about what others think. I just recently became a military stay at home wife ... people are always bugging about me quitting my job. Frankly, I was quite successful but my family is more important. After a deployment, several tdy's and an unaccompanied tour for my spouse (all in the span of two and a half years) I saw that my family needed me more than work. I won't return to work until my family can care for themselves. It was a sacrifice in our finances, but well worth it. I have people ask why all the time .... what do you do all day? I take care of my house, husband, and child. I make sure things are squared away so when he has to leave, he doesn't have to worry about home and family as much. You are not that uncommon ... not all military wives are uneducated and lazy. A lot of them choose to stay home for the same reasons you did, and I did. Maybe those that feel that way are lacking something in their own lives ... and they have to degrade others to feel better about themselves. The only people you should worry about is yourself, spouse and your child.

Answer 6

Who thinks that? I have been a military wife and mother now for 7 years. No one has ever said that to me. I have to stay home with my children because they are 8 and 5 months and with my husbands schedule, who could work?

Regarding being lazy, I DO EVERYTHING, I cook, clean, take care of the kids and pick up after everyone. My husband is the lazy one. So are most of the ofter military husbands I know.

Who ever says you are lazy is either a pig or has never been married to a military man. Keep up the good work girl.

Answer 7

The reason the misconception is there is because majority of the spouses stay home (both with children and not). They gossip. And when you gossip that is what it leads to. I have been in the military for over 5 years, and majority of the spouses I know are stay at home parents, my husband is a stay at home dad. I know he isnt completely lazy because he has to care for our son, but it is thought that because it is just as easy to put the child in day care for a few hours, and you, or other military spouses to get a job.

Answer 8

My friend is a military spouse and like you she is an educated person who was a teacher off base.

I think where the misconception came was during WWII when many war brides , came from other countries or were just young girls out of school, hs and in some cases jr hs. They were perceived as being uneducated and or stupid. It wasn't the case of course , too broad a generalization but for some people the idea stuck.

Answer 9

Well, I think that it depends on many things. As a military stay at home mom and spouse, I can see the women that they are talking about. Unfortunatley, the bad ruin it for the good, as it often does with any group. So, from one lazy stay at home mom to the other...hang in there! :-)

Answer 10

You must be asking men that question, as us women know that any woman who stays at home and tends to the house, children, husband, etc., is not lazy. I am a stay at home mom and my work never ends. I am on the computer answering questions at 11:45, because I haven't had time today with 3 kids & husband to do so. This is my time, sad isn't it?