In-laws imposing their religion on our baby?

Question

I'm due any day now and have concerns that my in-laws have not respected our request not to influence our child with their religious beliefs. We have told them that our intentions are to educate our child in ALL beliefs and let them make the informed decision on their own.
Today my husband came home with some clothes for the baby from my in-laws and Low and Behold there is a baby bible at the bottom... no big deal but it's worry-some all the same that our intentions are not being respected.
Has anyone been through similar and how did they express their annoyance to their in-laws/parents?

Wow! for once some great answers! Thank you and just to make it clear...the problem is that i have already asked them not to influence our child and told them we would be educating them when they are old enough to understand the concept... they seem to have totally ignored our wishes... I'd like a relationship with them and like for them to have a strong relationship with their grand baby. I just need to find a way for them to respect OUR decission with out offending.

Answer 1

I am an athiest and my in-laws are EXTREMELY religious. I haven't yet said anything, because for them to hear that I am an athiest would probabally devistate them. That is not what I want to do! So far all we've recieved are a couple baby bibles and religious stories. Now that Christmas is approaching we might mention that we won't be reading those kind of stories to our daughter and we'd hate for them to waste their money, when we know money is tight. I think it is a polite way to say we don't want something before you get it. It may hurt feelings more if the gift is already given and Christmas is a good time to do it, because you know you are getting gifts. If it keeps up and there is a problem, you just have to tell them that they HAVE to respect the way you have decided to parent. Then if it still keeps up you might need to expalin that they may not get to spend as much time with the child. It will be hard, but you have to be firm. I am having the problem with candy bribes to our daughter as well, and I am at the second step, (telling them they have to respect me) IT is tough, but it has to be done.
Good Luck
By the way I love your idea about religion! I think it is great to give your kids the choice. I do the same, (even though I don't believe)

Answer 2

I have been and still am in this situation.I have two children 6 and 12 years old.I am not a praticing anything but I have been teaching my children about all religions for a long time.We speak of the bible but of many other things including nature and wicca.I am here to mold my children to make good sound decisions not make the decisions for them.
On the other hand the in-laws are big time pentacostal followers.
I have allowed my children to go with them to church to allow them the experience of the religon.But I really have to stay firm because the in-laws try and make it a every week thing and I have even caught my kids making statements like you can't go to heaven with out getting the holy ghost and things like that.
At these moments I sit my children down and discuss the differnt aspects of all things and allow them to see it from all sides.
I tell them all the time that religon is man made.God is not.
So be a nice firm with the in-laws but do not ruin relationships over it because you can always do damage control later.

Answer 3

I don't know what your in-laws are like or if they have negative motives but it seems to me that they may not be trying to go against your wishes. You said yourself that you want to educate the child in all beliefs and if this is true than the baby bible will come in handy because christinity is one of the beliefs. It seems to me like the in-laws want to be a part of the childs spiritual education, and who better than a relative. You sould seek out other spiritual leaders to help with your childs education. You may just be overreacting for no reason. You should also educater yourself if you expect to teach your child properly. Good Luck

Answer 4

Christians seem to think they have a right to proselytize no matter what the parents think.

Send the bible back to the in-laws, or throw it away. Then explain that religion is a personal subject, and you will keep it that way, thank you.

You must be prepared to continue insisting on this. I am an athiest, and had to continually stop people from trying to give my children "information" about christ for 20 years. It gets old.

I introduced my children to most western religions, and many eastern. They grew up with a rational outlook, and with personal faith in themselves.

But the in-laws took many years to teach.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I suggest that you ask your friends and other members of the family to give you baby books of the following also: Judaism, Buddhism and Hinduism (etc).... then lay them out at the hospital. Show your in-laws that you are ok with it, because you want your kid to be informed. This way you don't seem like you are not open.... after all you just said so yourself- you want your kid to "make an informed decision".... how can he be informed, if you don't want to expose him to different religions? Say thank you to your in-laws instead... and add that you are intending to have a whole library about different religions... and the one they gave will be cherished, because it's the first one.

Answer 6

You are not allowed to express too much dislike for the in-laws ways. Sorry. For the most part you (if you have any class) are going to have to smile and be nice and just explain to you kid what you would have them to know and let that be that. - Be honest with them (if the ask) in a very polite way and if they stop good, if they don't too bad, not much you can do without looking like the bad guy.

Answer 7

In-Laws are going to behave like In-Laws. How often, once the baby grows old enough to understand about religion, are the in-laws going to be a problem? I would not sweat the little things.

Answer 8

I think you just sit down with them before they want to have the baby christened and say to them, that it is OUR wish to expose Jr. Or Juniorette to many different kinds of faith beliefs and when he/she is of age , he/she may choose or may not choose to follow whichever faith belief he/she wants. We would very much appreciate you not trying to sway her /him in your particular belief system. If you're not able to do this , then anything related to your particular beliefs will be returned to you or kept until Jr.or Juniorette is old enough to read and decide for him/herself.

You don't have to go to war over this , but your husband has to back you and not waffle or else you'll be seen as enemy number one. It's your child and you have every right to raise it the way you want to , they had their chance , they don't get it do -over with the grandkids.

Answer 9

You can use the Bible to teach the child about Christianity, and teach it about other religions as well. I would let your in-laws know in a gentle way that you appreciate their good intentions, but that you have your own plans for YOUR child.

Answer 10

I think it's fine. Circumcision should be the choice of the person who owns the body and no one else. I'm glad that San Fran is proposing a fine instead of jail time, though. Jail time would be taking it a little too far. And just so you know, circumcision is illegal in many provinces of Australia as well as parts of England...and I'm sure it's illegal in other parts of Europe as well.