If u won't make your children behave (still & quiet), why do u take them in public places and annoy people?

Question

Surely you realize that they are aggravating the crap out of people around them. Make them be still and be quiet in church, in the theater, in a restaurant, at the grocery store, and anywhere else that they are supposed to behave, or please leave them at home!
Does any one else agree with me about this?

If I think my child will be disruptive, I don't take her.

I realize certain circumstances are bound to arise, but in general if you know you've got a bad kid don't drag him along everywhere with you if you can help it.

Answer 1

I am really glad someone else said what a lot of people are thinking. I have four children of my own, and there were times when I worried about taking my children in public.

My son was about 5 or 6 at the time, and we were at Wal-Mart. He wanted me to buy him something and I told him no, and he started knocking bags of chips of the shelves. I then told him to pick them up and he fell out (started kicking and screaming) I began to get embarrassed, I was ready to leave the store, and decided not to. I looked down at my child and told him to give us a show, go ahead bump your head even harder (he looked up at me as if I was crazy) for a moment maybe I was. I then told him this is not the way good boys act in public, if you don't act like this at home what makes you think you can act this way now. Then I said look at the way their looking at you (other people in the store). He looked around and started picking up the chips. The woman behind us started laughing and he got upset. I then told him that she should laugh at you, because you were being naughty.

The problem today is that too many parents don't know how to make their children feel shame. The parents are the ones feeling the shame, and they don't know what to do. This is the sad part. What troubles me is that they will leave the store or bribe their children to be good. As we all know bratty kids grow up to be bratty adults, and these are the people no one can stand working with, because they learn at an early age they can pout and get their way.

Answer 2

I think if you had any close relationships with children then you would see that even the "best behaved" child will not sit still and quiet for a long period of time. For most people it isn't a normal scenario to call a babysitter so they can go to the grocery store. As someone else wrote, all children have bad days. You may take a child to a restaurant on a good day and out of nowhere it goes downhill. I do however understand if they are clearly irritating everyone around them the logical thing would be to remove them from the situation. These children must be put in social situations to learn how to and how not to behave but the parents need to start at home with teaching manners and respect of others.

Answer 3

I have a 15 year old girl, 12 year old girl and 8 year old boy. My two girls have been the most respectful when out in the public. My boy is another personality all together. There's times that I want to duck tape him to the cart to keep him quiet, but I'm also a single parent,. living in a town where I don't know anyone, and when I need to do some shopping, they are going with me. And I would discipline, but there's also a thing called "child abuse" and the moment you yell, slap, or otherwise discipline, the cops are called on you. So. My solution is this..................help us parents (especially us single parents) tell the ones who started this "no-discipling allowed" bullshit to back off and leave our families alone, and maybe, just maybe when my son acts like a little moron when out in the public, I can MAKE him be quiet and respectful of others around me without worrying about the police / social workers taking him away from me.

Answer 4

I find it funny how most people who dont have kids think its so easy to just control your child,its easier said than done sometimes. Children will test a parents patience and push boundaries,thats normal,what isnt normal is when a person has something to say about your kid in a rude manner over something stupid...as long as my kid isnt somewhere they shouldnt be for her age and shes not physically hurting anyone or anything,then the people around me who dont like it can screw off,I will discipline her when possible but if she misbehaves in the first place I cant always help that and NOONE should expect me to.
And babysitters and childcare doesnt come easy for everyone,and any normal parent is gonna take there kid out with them to the store,or to a restaurant,etc and people need to keep in mind that we all lead busy lives and at the end of the day its not always easy to discipline your child when your out somewhere,and theres different circumstances for every child and every situation,and a person who thinks a child is gonna act perfect all the time is naive and needs to get used to the fact that the human race is made up of babies,children,teens and adults and theres nothing you can do about it so get over it. The only way a person can learn is through experience,and thats the only way children can learn how to act when theyre out.

Answer 5

I think that it is impossible to get children to behave all of the time. Occasionally we are all going to see children at their worst when we are out in public, how are we parents to predict when they are going to behave or not. That being said, it does take an effort on the parents' part, perhaps having a talk with the child before getting into the store, church, whatever. The parent's expectations should be clear to the child, and so should the repercussions for poor behaviour.

BUT, you sound a little harsh, and a little selfish as well. (Forgive me) I mean no one likes to see children behave badly when we are out. I would expect more understanding coming from another parent. How can a parent control a one year old for example?

I am a single mother, and, yes, I WORK ALL OF THE TIME, someone needs to work to buy food and pay the bills. My parental responsibilities are still the same as they always were, it's just more difficult now that if I want to make dinner when we get home, I have to stop at the store and buy food, with my children in tow. It must be nice to not have to take your child out with you if she's not behaving the best, some of us parents do not have that luxury. So please, perhaps a little empathy for the other parents would be called for in these situations.

My girlfriend, for example, takes her children with her everywhere. They are not always on best behaviour, but she has no choice. Her husband is fighting for his life, he is 37 and is fighting intestinal cancer. He is dying, he will never see his children grow up. So the next time someone's children are acting up in a store, please be compassionate for that family, you have no idea what they are going through, and sometimes, there are more important things than disciplining your children in public to make them behave. I'm sure my girlfriend doesn't have the emotional strength to try to get her children to behave when they are out, her mind is always being pulled in a million different directions

Answer 6

You must not get out much or you have a baby sitter on hand 24/7 cause there is times that I need to go to the store and I don't have any one to watch my kid. Regardless of how she acts. I don't think that it's so much a problem of people actually bringing their kids in public but teaching them how to act in public. but when your kid is sick ,wet , hungry or tired and your stuck at the bank what can you do. Now if there are kids that are just being brats they need to be brought under control and if they aren't then that is the parents wrong doing but you can't always just leave your kids at home or you would never go anywhere.

Answer 7

I agree, given the circumstances. Sometimes you just NEED a few things from the grocery store no matter what kind of day your child is having. So you grab what you can't live without and get the he** out of there as fast as you can. I'm pretty lucky this time around. My 15 month old usually cheers up when we get out of the house. She smiles and waves at people and just loves all the attention. Sometimes I take her out BECAUSE she's cranky. Turns that frown upside down!

Answer 8

If my kids are misbehaving and being rude, than yes, I will take them to the car if I need to. But, don't be so quick to make a judgement on them. You have NO idea what kind of a day that child or mother has had. Maybe they have been at the doctors all day and the mom wants to take them out for a treat. Think of how frustrated you get when you have to wait for your food, well I seems like twice as long when you are trying to keep a child entertained. Crayons will only keep the preoccupied for so long when they're hungry. Instead of complaining about how much they are ruining your dinner, think about this poor mother. You might have to listen to the screaming for twenty minutes, she's had to listen to it all day long.

Answer 9

I'm kinda agree w/ you. No kid belongs in theaters unless its a Disney movie. I cant stand seeing a kid screaming in the grocery store. You have to keep in mind that some moms (& dads) dont have a sitter and have no choice. I dont take my 5 yr old anywhere if he's having a off day. I have the luxery of leaving him w/ my mom. It's much easier to take my 9 month old out to run errands. But yes, parents should have more comtrol over the kids in public.
--and they should be in the daycare at the church, not in church. How friggin' boring for a kid.

Answer 10

this is the BEST question ever!!!! i wish i had the funds to put it in the log on advertisement area!!!!
i couldn't agree with you more!!! (and the girl from the zoo gift shop) i have two little "all boys".... when they act crazy in a store, and anywhere else, i take them out. we have been places where people say "it's o.k., they can't hurt any thing" then when they go into the same store with their daddy, the SAME PEOPLE say, "WOW, they don't act like that with MOM"....
i was one of those people when we went out, and there were little evil's acting out, we would get up, and leave.....when mine came along, i tried to keep them under control...even at 8, and 6, they still sit IN the buggies, keep their hands to themselves, and, or hold my hand... NOW, in school they see other kids getting away with murder, and they are trying....
i could go on, and on about this....
this is what happens when people have kids in day care..i'm not saying all day care is bad....i am saying, people have forgotten why we have children.....it takes a village to raise a child...
when i knew when i did something wrong, and "ms.jones" down the road could get to my mom before i could, i thought twice about what ever it was i wanted to do...now a days, i guess out of guilt, parents are blaming everyone else for the bad behavior, and are giving in to the bad seeds because they feel guilty for working ALL OF THE TIME....
i'm with you on this one...yahoo should give you EXTRA points for bringing this to everyones attention!!!