ok so i had to let go of someone I love dearly and been with for two and a half years because i felt that i could not make her happy in the long run. My mind told me to let her go because it was the most sensible thing to do because i truley dont want to hurt her because i do love her, she's moving on with her life now (with somebody as i type this) but ironically I cant let go because i love her, it hurts like hell and yes it's all my doing.
2006-10-22 17:03:42 · 19 answers · asked by Wiseguy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
all you can do is move on yourself...get out there and go on a date...seriously, you need a change of scenery too...
2006-10-22 17:05:32 · answer #1 · answered by Tom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like my ex boyfriend. Lol....I just posted a question about this!!! "What should I do with my ex-bf?" It better not be you. hahahaha. Maybe if you read the answers i got. Could help you a bit to get an idea what your girl is thinking.
- In my opinion, yes, it's all you fault. You didn't communicate with her well and she's reading all your wrong signals. You had your chance. Better pray that your feelings are for real. If you are for real, you'll wait for her until she's ready. Otherwise, move on and just be there for her as a friend support. You let her go too long, then the love is lost.
2006-10-23 03:56:53 · answer #2 · answered by debrakhoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You loved her and you set her free as you knew you weren't making her happy. That is a very honest and difficult thing to do and it can hurt just as much as if you had been dumped. Also there is always the thought that if things had been different maybe it would have worked. You need to have time to grieve over the relationship, then pick up the pieces and move on. You sound like a lovely guy and I doubt if you will be on your own for long.
2006-10-23 03:30:55 · answer #3 · answered by feebee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel so sad 4 u. Why u let her go when u love her so much.
And why did you say that shes not happy with you anymore. Did she told u that shes not happy with the relationship or is it just in your mind. If shes not happy well the first thing 2 do is to make her happy.Dont do things that makes her sad.
And because she moves on,. Be happy for her.
You have to move on too, its the only way to ease the pain of ur broken heart.
2006-10-23 03:10:06 · answer #4 · answered by anne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know I am in the same delima I just havent let go yet. I really dont know if this will help you but I think that people today are to worried about making everyone else happy and not making them selves happy. I know I am also a fellow happiness giver but sometimes you have to draw the line and I know it hurts you but I promise that time will help you and if you feel that she would never be happy then that means that you too would never be happy. I bet you will find true love and be happy until then dont give up and remember to keep you head up and don give up on love
2006-10-23 00:10:07 · answer #5 · answered by justafriendlyperson 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sweetie. why o why did you think that? my fella is exactly the same as you and thinks he wont make me happy, only problem is its not for him to decide and it wasnt for you to decide whether you can make her happy, did you discuss this with her? did she agree you couldn't make her happy? you cant let go because of the love you feel for her and your hurting because she seems to of moved on. our minds can be traitors regarding this sort of thing. you loved her so much you wanted her to have the best. only you didnt take into account that she was with you and therefore happy. i'd advise you to talk to her again, tell her how you feel and explain why you did what you did. either way you need some closure. maybe shes willing to try again but doesnt think you feel the same. dont waste time, tell her now. at least you would've tried and learnt a lesson. you crazy man! seriously, good luck, and i hope it works out for you.
2006-10-23 04:52:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I think you are missing a couple of things here.
Firstly you let her go because you thought you couldn't make her happy and that didn't make you happy. Now in my opinion that's a good call. My guess is that the way she was, at this point in your life, wasn't what you wanted from the relationship. Now this is a subtle difference in the explanation but it is very important to recognise that you made this choice to improve your life. Don't beat yourself up you had great motives and high self esteem.
Now it's really understandable that you still love her, and if my experience is anything to go by you will still love her in a few years, even if you are with somebody else who you love. But sometimes love is just not enough, a relationship has to work positively for you as well. My guess is you felt this relationship was not working positively for you so you chose to end it.
Now she is moving on and she is developing a new friendship with someone, whatever shes says about it, it won't be as strong as your relationship for quite a while, it's only just beginning. Now this is her way of coping with the breakup, it works for her but similar actions might not necessarily work for you.
Now if you made a decision out of frustration and there wasn't enough dialogue there is a chance that you made a mistake. If this is the case you have to go and talk to her but do not do so out of jealousy, this is not a good reason to get back together. Also you may feel very lonely and you might suddenly find your headspace starting to clear, this can actually become disconcerting. Especially if your head was so full up with the dramas of the relationship. Now your life is suddenly becoming emptier, which is not what you want but a necessary stage in moving forward. Now to reiterate, because its important, is your head emptier because there is less negative drama ?
The question you need to ask is, my life is emptier and is it moving in a better direction ? If YES then you have made a good choice. If NO then maybe you need to talk to her.
But remember two and a half years is enough time to know about how you two work together as a couple, if your life worked well and you took it for granted or if you still believe it could work well then you again had better go and talk.
If you do get back together you need to be certain and make a stronger commitment to the relationship.
However its so important to be honest with yourself if you know that the relationship doesn't work well enough for you and is going to be very difficult to make it work then let it go. All in all head in a positive direction for what you want to do for your life.
Now of course if you do want her back and she doesn't want you then that it might be painful, but if you want her back you must go for it and accept the consequences, eat humble pie, beg, 1000 apologies, rejection, more jealousy, upset etc whatever they maybe. Be true to yourself.
Whatever action you choose, if you really truly still love her you'll want the best for her then by doing what is best for you, you will be doing what's best for her. And although it might hurt doing what's best for you could actually be seeing her with someone else. This could be because you can't commit to her 100% because you know she can't give you what you want from your life.
Good luck and try and work it out, it takes time to get over a serious relationship, don't rush it, acknowledge your emotions but don't let them rule your life.
You know the path you want to go by, have the courage to follow it.
We all learn more from our failures than our achievements, be thankful for where you are recreate your life and live your dreams.
DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP !!!
Good luck and may the force be with you.
2006-10-23 01:37:14 · answer #7 · answered by lifeontrack2006 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you did the best thing dude. you loved her, and by doing that, wanted to make her happy, so you let her go. takes a man to do that. but, it's probably because the fact that she's moving on so fast and sooner than you are that has you at a loss. But, hey, you've been to the edge! you can say you loved, lost, and will (more than likely) love again. In the meantime, get out some more!! meet more chicas dude!
2006-10-23 00:09:19 · answer #8 · answered by Blazzzy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are a fool and a very insecure one at that too to think that you are not good enough for someone. Got to be a man now and try to move on with someone else too as she has done or be a man and try to win her back. Maybe give her a call and ask her to meet you somewhere to talk where you can explain everything to her or send her an e-mail where you can explain your feelings to her and then see what happens.
2006-10-23 00:08:29 · answer #9 · answered by osito 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's hard to let go because you do love her. But if you let her go when you do love her, I'm sure there was a very good reason. You should let yourself go out, meet some new girls, go on dates. Eventually, you will be able to let go and you will meet someone who is right for you.
2006-10-23 00:07:57 · answer #10 · answered by Stephanie73 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it was a very bad call,in my opinion ,love .true love is selfish, if u love someone ,u want him for urself ,u will do ur best to be with him and u will try everything to make her happy ,the one thing u would never do is letting go, I think u didn't realise u were in love with her till she was gone for good, the best thing to do now is to move on yourself,u will love again ,propably.
2006-10-23 00:10:24 · answer #11 · answered by senoradelafelicidad 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋