Okay, here goes ..
I met a guy, great guy btw ... he asked me on a first date, it went great and he kissed me. So, he asked for 2nd date ... and it went extremely well. In fact, he stayed over night at my apartment (on the couch though after serious make out session and cuddling). But anyway, he stayed overnight at my place and stayed all day today (he actually just left ... his place is like one hour away). Well, the make out session turn out to be ... almost sex session (ya' know ... everything else but intercourse). He said he'll call again and definitely going to see each other again. I do not want to go all the way with him just yet the next time we're together, because I think I want to know him more and just maybe have a relationship (more than sex) with him. So, how do I tell him that I think he's hot and I do want to have sex with him but just not quite yet without pushing him away? I don't usually give up so quickly (2 month rule) but with him is so different! Help?
2006-10-22 16:42:55 · 12 answers · asked by Nicegal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your body, your choice. You can simply tell him you want to slow things down a bit. That you don't want him to develop the wrong impression about you. That you don't want to be just another notch on some guys dashboard or whatever. If he understands and continues to show interest and wants to be with you then wonderful. If he shies away then he obviously had only one intention in the first place and you would be better off without him. If he walks, its his loss and you haven't lost anything, including your own sense of self and self esteem. You set the ground rules and you decide for you. Make that clear to him. This will pay off in the long run. Also be careful. If you go as far as everything but intercourse again, you may not be able to control the situation. Perhaps next time be in a place where you can have an escape or a way of retreat. Your apartment, though yours, does make you vulnerable. Be careful.
2006-10-22 16:52:49 · answer #1 · answered by Big "D" 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jjust find a way to work into the converstion early on (before you make out) that you never have sex with someone until you've known him for a while (a few months, a year, marriage, whatever your timeframe is...). If he looks disappointed be sure to offer to pay your half of any "date expenses". That way if that's all he's after he has an easy out, but if he actually cares about you he'll be fine with it. At worst, he'll consider it a challenge and you might have to keep telling him no. Believe it or not, you can hold most guys off a really long time if they actually like you. Just always be honest about it all.
2006-10-22 17:01:10 · answer #2 · answered by Arbor Dude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its wrong only because a 17 year old guys motives in a relationship combined with the naivety of a 13 year old means SEX. I think its definitly wrong for sex at 12 or 13. Although If it was a relationship with a 17 year old girl and a 13 year old guy, I would say thats different, a bit weird, but not wrong.
2016-03-28 04:36:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly what you just asked everyone here. Tell him he's hot, you really want to be with him, but you want to find out more about him and see where it could be headed before sex. If he is this great guy, he will understand and respect your request.
2006-10-22 16:46:22 · answer #4 · answered by cia939 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree--be honest with him. I think he will be flattered. And if he is looking for more than sex, he should not run away. If it pushes him away, then he is not looking for anything more. A good guy will never pressure you to do more than you want.
2006-10-22 16:47:40 · answer #5 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly what you said, he should be flattered taht you find him so sexy, you have to bring it up and help you restrain yourself. And he should respect that you want it to be more than just sex. You seem to have a good grasp on things, Good luck with your relationship.
2006-10-22 16:45:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say no if he wants more than sex he will be quiet happy with that and he wont be pushed away
if he only wants sex then you are better off without him -- at least i hope so
2006-10-22 16:46:56 · answer #7 · answered by trader1867 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him you want to have an actual relationship with him that you dont want it to be just ab sex and see how long he can go w/o sex
2006-10-22 16:47:17 · answer #8 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him what you wrote at the end of your question. If hes a good guy hell understand.
2006-10-22 16:45:32 · answer #9 · answered by FF Geek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats the rush...I am sure you have heard the saying...why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free....
2006-10-22 16:55:30 · answer #10 · answered by Laea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋