How can I relax and convince myself that they are okay?

Question

I have two childern, 3 year old girl and a 7 mo old boy and we just bought this house and it is one level because that is what I wanted because I was scared that one of the kids would fall down the steps or fall out the window, or the house would catch on fire and I wouldn't make it up stairs to save my kids.So, I thought with getting a one level that would make it better, but now I am afraid of my little girl getting up in the middle of the night and going out one of the outside doors or someone breaking in and taking one of them, I have three locks on every door that leads outside and to the garage, it is so bad that I don't ever sleep with my husband I am either in my daughters bed with her or in the floor in my sons room. How can I get this negative thoughts out of my head? And do any of you think like this???HELP!!!!

Answer 1

You definately should talk to a professional... these thoughts are irrational, and you know it... and I do think like this... when they were younger it was much worse.... but these thoughts are beyond normal caution......

Don't put too many locks on, you won't be able to get OUT in an emergency!! Just make sure there are locks that the kids cannot reach. Lock doors and windows at night. Consider getting a house alarm, or at least inexpensive alarms that make a sound if the door is opened.

I have a house alarm... I won't list the entire menu of phobias of possible child injuries I worried about.....not to mention fear of deadly disease from ticks and mosquitos.... I have worked hard not to let my fears take over me or my children.... because it is they who will suffer if you let this snowball....

If you have done what a reasonable person would do (locks) and you are STILL freaking out, please, please talk to someone... you need to get this under control. A combination of meds and talk therapy can be helpful.

Answer 2

You should probably speak with a counselor. You need someone who can help you work through these feelings because while you're worrying and losing sleep, you're also missing out on a lot of the fun and joy of experiencing this precious time with your little ones. They'll never be little again and they're going to be teens before you know it. Find a psychologist or counselor that can get you over this anxiety so you can enjoy your life and wonderful family to the fullest. Besides, if Mommy is worried all the time, you could teach this compulsion to your children, and that would make life so hard for them. You obviously love them very much, so take care of this problem before you pass it to them. They'll enjoy you more, too, if you're well rested and happy. Good luck!

Answer 3

Sounds like you might need counseling. You are thinking of all the worst case scenarios that will probably never happen. As long as you are doing everything in your power to give your kids a safe environment you are doing your job as a parent. Having a safe home with locked doors/windows at night is more than enough and should be putting your mind at ease. You have to realize that you can't be with your kids 24/7 and you can't protect them from everything, if you don't learn that now then you are going to have a big problem as they continue to get older.
If you are concerned about the neighborhood you live in, perhaps think about getting a home alarm system put in, which will alert you if a window is opened/door is opened, and will also alert you for carbon monoxide. That might help put your mind at ease, but if you are still very paranoid about terrible things happening you should really start seeing a counselor.

Answer 4

I understand your paranoia. It actually happened to a small child in a city near here. She froze off all her toes and had almost died. No one heard her leave the house.

For my own paranoia, I put in an alarm system for $20 a month. The alarm goes off if anyone comes through a window or opens one of the alarmed doors. If you can't afford an alarm system, you can buy simple door sensors with alarms at the store. They are available in the child safety department where you would find drawer locks. You can also buy doorknob handles that make it difficult to open the doors. My 6 year old can open it and my 3 year old is just learning too. It helps prevent them from getting out easily. You can even get the little bell that you turn off easily when the door opens - circuit city for $15. Businesses use them to detect someone coming in and you can just turn them off in the daytime.

Don't worry about being paranoid - it's pretty normal for a parent of young kids. My friends and I are always comparing the safety items for our kids.

Answer 5

Well hun u are a mom now and u worry so do I, but the only thing that i could suggest is that u make sure that those locks are locked before you go to ebd...GET A SURCURITY SYSTEM..That way is one of those doors open the alarm will go off and u will hear it and get htere in time before something happens...don't worry so much i know its hard but u are going to either put urself in the hospital from stress or you will be signing divorce papers cuase hunny u are negleting ur husband as well..

Answer 6

Take some deep breaths!! I know exactly what you are going through, because I've done that too!! Now that my kids are older I find that I am a bit more relaxed, but still have those 'anxiety' moments. All you can do is your best!! I happen to be a Christian, so **for me remembering to leave them in God's hands helps me a lot!!!

Answer 7

Sounds like GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). Go to a doctor and get some medication. I would suggest a psychiatrist that way you can discuss what may have triggered this insecurity of yours that the people you love are going to die. I went through the same thing...it's a nightmare living in fear of losing someone you love. I would imagine all sorts of terrible scenarios. I'm better now...not the greatest, but better...since I started taking paxil.

Answer 8

they could locate i ok as 18 years of age. What could convince them is that it is sturdy for you to confirm your boyfriend this year - if he can not shuttle to you you will could use quite some time with out having a guess to return to a decision climate you may proceed jointly or close the friendship. Germany are a secure place to flow.

Answer 9

At least you're no stupid as_. Your hubby probably thinks that you are paranoid, but better safe than sorry. You should get custom-made iron bars for the windows; You'll sleep better! Sleeping with your kids won't prevent a break-in, bars will.

Answer 10

Pray for their safety and for peace in your mind about it. Worse case scenario, set up another bed in your room for the kids so you are not leaving your husband out until you can get over your fears.