my kids keep biting eachother- how do i stop this?

Question

i dont spank, i dont ever do anything physical punishment wise- just throw away toys or rescind priveledges, stuff like that
so please, no "just beat them into submission": type answers

no! i CANT bite them or hurt them in any way
and of course i dont LET them
they go right to the naughty bench- a bench in the boring corner, wehre they have time outs
they are eight- she doesnt do it, just the littel ones
and the little ones are three and two-and tehy are not "abusing eachother" they think its hillarious- thats why im alarmed

Answer 1

wash their mouths out with soap or bite them back. Not hard but just enough so they know it hurts when they bite their siblings

Answer 2

A lot of parents have chosen to bite the child back so they will know how it feels. They will cry at first but eventually get the idea. Separate them if you see them biting each other. Throwing away toys may be the reason they are biting each other. Give put them in time out.

Best wishes to you.

Answer 3

So your kids physically harm each other, and the appropriate response in your house is to throw a toy away?

Ever heard of letting the punishment fit the crime? Ahhh, well, you probably wouldn't understand half of what we do in my house, either. Lord knows I haven't got it all figured out. :-)

Best I can think of, flip the idea of taking away priviledges. Instead of starting out with the priviledges, and taking them away if they're bad, start with no priviledges, and reward them if they're good. Get two jars and a bunch of pebbles or other small things (pennies would work okay, poker chips, whatever. I use the pebbles like you can get in craft stores)

Example: (for our example, your kids' names are Joe and Bob)

Joe and Bob both have a Good-Boy Jar. In a family meeting, it has been decided that it costs 15 pebbles from the Good-Boy Jar to get to watch a video. For every day Joe goes without biting Bob, he gets three pebbles. Everytime Joe bites Bob, he has four pebbles taken away. Cleaning his room earns Joe four pebbles. "Talking back" costs him three pebbles. Joe can only enjoy the priviledges if he has enough pebbles in his Good Boy Jar to justify getting to use them (if it takes twenty pebbles to play on the computer, but he hasn't earned twenty pebbles, he can't get on the computer).

Your family can discuss how much each offense is worth, and how much each reward is worth. This way, they have to actually be pro-active in being good, rather than just not being ugly (which they should already not be doing, regardless). It's also a physical way for them to see the rewards and consequences of minding or of being ugly.

This worked suprisingly well on my 5-year-old, who has trouble understanding some concepts.

In the short term, or if your children are very small (2 and 3, for example), physically separate them as much as possible. But you're probably already doing that.

Answer 4

I think that your kids need help role playing the way to talk to eachother when they are upset. I am also having trouble with my 2 year old hitting my 4 year old. The problem is that my 2 year old doesn't know how to say "give me my toy back" or "move you are in my way." Take some time off of your house work and play with them more. When you see a problem arising give them the words to say to eachother to solve the problem, but don't solve the problem for them. This will be a team effort but well worth it.

Answer 5

I don't know how old they are, but I had a little one who bit and pulled out handfulls of hair.... from maybe age 1 to 3..... so along with holding her hand, looking in her eyes and saying NO firmly.... which did nothing, really, for years...... I finally gave her enough of a bite so she knew it was uncomfortable.... just pressed my teeth onto her pointer finger while I looked right into her eyes.... so she knew she didn't like it.... I applied pressure but did not really harm her.... I said NO! Biting feels like THIS, it HURTS! No biting!! Someone recommended this to me, and I was shocked at first, but honestly, it did the trick.... I think I shocked her out of it.... I did that with the hair, too... I gave a tug on her hair enough so it felt uncomfortable... but really, this was a last resort.... she was hurting her sister so bad for over a year.... and surprisingly it worked.

Answer 6

Well if you do not spank; then learn to tolerant these abnormal behaviors. Trust the Rod of Correction have solved many problems. Once they are introduced to Mr Correction; allot of times the problems are solved just by the mentioning of Mr Correction's name.

Answer 7

1st there is a difference between spanking and beating!!!!!!!! Beating is abusing a child where as spanking is not. 2nd you are currently abusing both of your children, (I'm assuming theres only 2), by allowing them to abuse each other. There is nothing wrong with a pop on the butt with an open hand and telling them both to go sit in seperate corners until they are ready to apologize to each other and promise not too do it again.

Answer 8

I was under 2 & I remember my mother biting me. After I calmed down she explained that that's what it felt like when I bit her, so I quit for fear of being bit, even though I still wanted to chew. Dogs want to bite kids cause' kids are dogs, seriously. Show your Mother fangs and bite both kids, doesn'rt matter who started it. Kids don't like to be bit by Mom Dawg! Don't draw blood, but it will work! All you'll have to do when they fight after that is SHOW your FANGS!

Answer 9

Their behavior is only gonna remain terrible as long as you don't spank. If you are gonna parent like a wuss, then go ahead expect rotten kids.

No spankings = very bad kids.

Answer 10

I am against physical punishments for children too! Maybe you can give them time outs on different sides of a room in a non-violent way.?

Answer 11

OK I know you said you don't like biting them back, BUT I had a DR. tell me this and yes I thought she was nuts at first. coz i am just like you I don't hit or anything to my son.. She told me to bite him back and hard and let him know coz he's going have to lean when they got to school there will be a kid might bite him or her back and it will be hard so your going to have to do something i did not want to do and i had to end up biting him and he never did it again