my bf started seeing his ex gf 4months after we started dating. she told him she was still in love with him, and he started hangin out with her occasionally. he told me he had no feelings towards her but it was clear wot she wanted. It was hard but I told myself to trust him. a month later he told me he slept with her and now she was pregnant. I was heartbroken bt I forgave him and she later told us that she had an abortion. she wud txt me an abuse me makin up stuff i'd sed bout him, tryin to break us up but we tried to move on. my trust in him dropped a huge amount tho, as I was fairly sure he still had feelings for her at the time. We moved in together a while ago and we found out that she didnt hav an abortion and that he had a son for 5 months before he died of cot death. He's finding it hard to deal with and he has to see her to talk it thru with her. I dont know wot to do as it feels like its all happenin again. I know this is alot harder for him, but I dont want to get hurt agai
2006-10-22 15:44:39 · 22 answers · asked by Alexandra L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Girl, you have to stop thinking of his feelings & start putting yourself first.
This is YOUR emotions, YOUR feelings, YOUR health we are talking about.
Pack you bags and make a fresh start... without him.
As for the ex girlfriend, she sounds like a complete loony sending abusive text messages, as far as I'm concerned, they deserve each other, he's a cheater, she's a psycho... perfect couple.
Leave him, move on, be successful and show him just how good you are. Leave him a message or tell him as you are leaving, that when he's ready to committ, to give you a call, until then, you are gone.
If all goes well and he says he wants to committ, tell him committment means no contact with the ex, they have no child together anymore which means there is nothing for them to talk about, which means he should completely drop any contact with her.
It would be nice to see him stick up for you when you receive any text messages from her and he should tell her to get lost & that he loves you and it will stay like that.
He will need to work hard to re-gain any trust, that is, if he can.
Honestly though, I think you can do a lot better.
2006-10-22 16:00:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first mistake-- never think that any man who was formerly intimate with a woman won't sleep with her again. Every former man I've dealt with and I still speak to want to sleep with me, no lie. If your boyfriend and his ex had a reasonably amicable departure there are still feelings there, you don't have to be so nice to say you're fine with them hanging out. It's not about being jealous, it's about respect. Certainly, under no circumstances would a man stand for you seeing one of your exes. That's the problem with us women, we let men get away with too much.
After the "pregnancy" fiasco, you should've told him, see me when you get yourself together, I want no part of this drama. My advice, tell him that you need to think about what's going on because you're not comfortable with this entire situation. This woman is trying to get him back and men are weak. The funny think about men is they are strong when they want to be and weak if he wants sex or love from a woman. Take a break from his drama, this has nothing to do with you and him needing a break. You need a break from him and her drama.
Be strong, your abstaining from him will show him that you've had enough. Don't ever deal with a man who still has feelings for another woman, you'll always wonder what he's doing. I know, it happened to me only once. Again, a man would tell you to pack your bags if you put him through half of what he put you through...it may hurt, but I'd rather have hurt feelings than a broken heart. Don't go down with the ship, jump off and swim to shore...
2006-10-22 16:00:42 · answer #2 · answered by indepwman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would be Much better off to hang around with Nicer people. No good future here. Also, learn to spell. Sex outside of marriage is wrong and a sin. Just look at your question and see what happenes when we don't live right. It does lead to hurt as you said and then more hurt and trouble.
Just watching Maury should make people wise up and Know they don't want to be like those people ...like Who is the daddy ...number 1 or number 8?? Poor children. What poor examples they will look back at. Also, parents get hurt at what their teens do also. Make Wise decisions.
2006-10-22 15:51:50 · answer #3 · answered by 4263 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its important to realize that when your b/f or g/f is on a rebound, you should take the initiative and move on whatever the circumstances. Center yourself on other things that will help block memories that will push you back into a relationship that has huge flaws which will ultimately affect your future. Love yourself, pack your bags and leave and start over.
2006-10-22 15:52:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all I would definitely say dump him. You cant trust him and he lied to you. I understand that he is going through a hard time. She also lied to both of you. I know that they lost a son but he should also be sensitive to your feelings too. If your not happy I would leave. You have your whole life. Why spend it with someone who you cant trust. It will just make you miserable. I am sorry you are going through this its rough. I hope I could help.
2006-10-22 15:51:25 · answer #5 · answered by angel l 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you're hurting, but it sounds like this guy is at the root of the pain. he's been involved with an ex the whole time he's been with you. he's caused you a lot of pain, and so has his so-called ex. if he really cared for you he would have told her to stay out of his and your business a long time ago. you deserve better. and trust me, there are guys out there that would treat you right.
Now you have to do whats best for you and get out of this toxic relationship.
I wish you the best
2006-10-22 15:58:12 · answer #6 · answered by atiana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the hell away from him. Once a cheater, always a cheater. And if he really loved you he would completely get her out of his life. There's no reason to dwell on the past with a person if you don't care about them. He's going to end up 2 timing you both. That's just what they do.
2006-10-22 15:49:35 · answer #7 · answered by misscaseyld05 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend ex playing her cards. What I mean is that she wants him back and she know what and how to do to get him in her arms. he loves her and you need to take a step back because you been fool far too long. It will be hard but you are not idiot see what happening here. Your love for him is blinding you insight you overcome with emotions. You must leave him alone he's already found his soul mate and not you.
2006-10-22 16:11:27 · answer #8 · answered by Disha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing is how deep did u love him.... If u love him deep enough to forgive him anything, I think u can continue... But if u feel tired, dun force yourself to accept... To say honestly, I think things like this guys should settle before letting their gf to worry... If u are scared of getting hurt, u shouldn't even forgive him in the first place... Since u already forgive him, u should be prepared to get hurt lor...
2006-10-22 15:58:05 · answer #9 · answered by Kyoko 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get this guy out of your life. You are only getting in the way of him and that other girl. Please don't continue to allow yourself to be used and abused because that is exactly what you are doing. You need some self-respect and some courage to do what you already know is right. Tell him good-bye and never look back again.
2006-10-22 15:50:18 · answer #10 · answered by Bethany 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋