Hi Everyone, I need some advice. My husband's father is a chain smoker and has lived in/smoked in his house for about 30 years without ever having the carpets/furnature/ducts cleaned. I now have a 6 month old baby girl. Although my father-in-law doesn't smoke around my baby, I have concerns about having my baby in his house.
The one time my daughter was in his house (for a total of about 10 minutes) we both left there reeking of smoke even though he didn't smoke around her.
I'm asking because we usually have Christmas at his house and I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't want my baby exposed to 30 years of nasty old smoke. I also have a history of asthma, which I don't want my baby to develop.
I guess what I'm asking, how do I handle this without hurting his feelings? He's a wonderful person and I love him very much, but he will probably never stop smoking.
Any advice and personal experiences would be great!
Thanks!
2006-10-22 15:19:46 · 4 answers · asked by CatTech 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is simply paranoia, induced by the media. Second hand smoke is not dangerous, and you say he doesn't even smoke around her.
She gets far more toxic fumes when a car passes by. You are not going to stop taking her outside are you?
The problem is with yourself, not your baby or your father-in-law.
Do some sensible research, or simply just believe me.
Stop worrying about something that you've read in some magasine which was trying to control your mind.
Most people who smoke do not get cancer - it's just that of those who do get cancer, then the largest proportion are smokers. Can you see the difference.
All this paranoia about second hand smoke is created by the medical industry simply to hide the fact that vaccinations cause cancer.
I'll bet you got your baby vaccinated, didn't you. Well that's thousands of times more dangerous than your father-in-laws smelly carpet
2006-10-25 18:49:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
My father smokes a lot. I knew that there was no way I could stop him from smoking in his own home. But I did manage to get him to smoke in another room then my children.
When it came to our house. It was no smoking inside PERIOD. If you wanted to smoke, then you stepped out onto the patio and smoked. My dad is extremely stubborn and a bit of an a$$ but he never had any problem doing this. Especially since it was our home and not his.
My husband has asthma as well, so that was the main reason why we didn't allow it in our home. That and I cannot stand the smell. Our 4 year old is developing asthma too now.
I would ask him if he could step outside to smoke or at least smoke in a room further away from the baby. Just exmplain to him about how it affects your asthma and how second hand smoke can be dangerous for your child. Look at Dana Reeves she died from lung cancer and never smoked a day in her life.
2006-10-23 10:43:55 · answer #2 · answered by totsandtwins04 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could voice your concerns to him and see what he says. Maybe place some distance between you and your father in law's home. Not deprive your child contact with grandpa--just have all of you meet in NON smoking places. Your daughter can enjoy Grandpa's company, in a smoke free environment.
If that is not an option, offer to have Christmas at either your home or at another relatives home. If you decide to choose either of these options, make sure to hide ashtrays and make crystal clear your objections to secondhand cigarette spoke exposure.
2006-10-22 22:29:27 · answer #3 · answered by curlytop312 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my grandfather in law was the same we restricted the amount of time we spend with them but we could not talk to them and tell them our concerns
there is asthma in my side of the family and my father has health problems because of smoking
all i can say is tell him he should be responsive to the plight of his grandchild and accept your decision
2006-10-22 22:27:33 · answer #4 · answered by trader1867 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋