I had a baby out of wedlock and was kicked out by my stepfather, then I was adopted by a wealthy man, now his?

Question

daughter seems to have took over the raising of my child, and I have been put out in their guest house to live, so I am wondering if I should just fade away, and like move some place else, and let them take care of my son, knowing they could give him a better life than ever I could, or if I should fight for custody of him, knowing I would likely lose in any event? And please be nice, without any comments on my lack of morality! I know I have been bad, so PLEASE do not go rubbing it in! I feel badly enough with out that. Thanks!

Since several people have asked my age, I just turned 16 back in July.

One lady ask, where is my Mom? She died when I was 11.

Why am I in the stupid guest house? I ask my self that very question too. I thought these people loved me! Now here there trying to take my child and push me aside. I am very sad and upset!

They could prove I am unfit to raise him! I foolishly allowed them to take him overseas on a long vacation in europe. I was invited to go too, but I have a fear of flying! So they could say I like abandoned him for those 3 months! "I" my self am feeling abandoned by them!!

I have worked as a waitress a couple of times; once before my son was born and once while my foster family was in europe, but that does not pay enough to take care of my self and a child. I do have an aunt who might help me, and my step father now wants me back home, but I know what he wants me there for! Not going into that just now!

Btw, I am not a drug addict exactly, but I have struggled with a drinking problem and attended AA meetings.

there has been some talk about putting me away in an asylum, because i am a pervert and was sexually abused as a youngster myself and practice 'witchcraft', et cetera, so i am thinking of heading up to canada to join my brother. yes, i know i will regret leaving my son behind, but it is better than being stuck in a nut house and still not being able to be with him.

Answer 1

You must do what you feel is right for you and your child. If you don't expect to make a lot of money in the next few years to feed, clothe and send your child through school and college, you have to make a decision. Don't think about a lack of morality, you did what you had to do and took what was presented to you.
All the best.

Answer 2

I don't understand. You said a wealthy man adopted you. So how old were you when you had the baby? Why did he have to adopt you?
If you have been legally adopted then that child is legally his grandchild. Now since we don't know your age it is difficult to give proper advice. Are you still a minor? Do you need someone to care for your child because you go to school? It's not clear why you are put in a guest house or why your adoptive father allows that? I think you should go to a family service agency for advice. Meanwhile be responsible towards your child so you don't get into trouble with child protection agencies.

Answer 3

First of all i completely understand your stress and although i was not in this situation i came to this site to ask for advice on one of my horrible mistakes that i was really depressed over and people talked so much trash about my problem and pretty much made me feel like blowing my head off. Everyone has problems and yours could be so much worse. Dont be embarrassed you had a child out of wedlock half the population has. The rich people probably can give your son all the materialistic things he wants in life. but nobody can give him a mothers unconditional love like you can. that is way more important. If i were you i would lay down the law. that is your son. you should never fade away. If they wont accept that you need to seek help from the government and get on your own. dont let your son be confused about who his mother is. keep him close. you can overcome so much with a motivation from your child. good luck!

Answer 4

I believe you made a mistake. No one is perfect. But you are now a mother of a child which I assume you love. If you love your child you should take your child and raise it. get help if needed to do so. Don't let them take you son. he is yours even if you married. Maybe this marriage was somehow planned so your child could be taken away. Or why are you in the guest house. They cannot take your child away because there is no blood relation. good luck.

Answer 5

I would agree with everyone else, that you should fight for your son. under most states laws the birth mother has more rights then the father or even adopted if she hasn't givin up all her rights. So would say fight for your son. Having read your post over the year I can see that you love and care for him very much and that you are doing everything you can to better yourself for your son. As far as you feeling that you have been bad, your very wrong. from reading your post in the past it sounds like when you moved in with your friend and her father you thought they truely cared for you and wanted you to be happy and help you. it was only natural to trust them with your son. and as for the other thing that you feel that you may have been bad about i would still say that you haven't. being very sexual is very normal and should never be looked at being a bad thing, As far as the drinking that was understandable with your situation, and the fact that you've taken steps to help yourself shows that your thinking of your son at all times. Keep us updated on how your doing as i know we all worry about you. Take care

Answer 6

Your kidding right ?? First of all how old are you? And how did you wind up living in the guest house. Take control of yourself, lots of women today have babies out of wedlock, its kinda hard to find tradition anymore anyway. If your old enough to have a baby then get a job and support him. There are so many agecies to help people like you, take advantage of them till you get on your feet, but for god sake don't leave your son with strangers, unless of course your a drug addict where he then would only become another statistic. Good luck!!

Answer 7

Why are these people rasing your child? Have you ever asked why they feel you are not a good mother?? If you can provide for youself and your child then you should try to live on your own. They should at least give you a chance to make a good life for you and the baby. Be careful, they could be setting you up for a custody battle especially if they now have proof they are providing for him/her. Talk to a lawyer about your rights or a women's group to find out options if these "people" want to continue to conrtol you. Good luck

Answer 8

It's extremely unusual that anybody including a wealthy man would adopt a girl with a child born out of wedlock. It sounds like his move was to adopt you in order to gain a child for his daughter. Also, you did not mention your age or your child's age (when he adopted you and your age now).

If you want to keep your child and can take care of it on your own away from his residence and without any assistance from him, you should have no problems with custody.

Most cities have a "Women's Center" which provides great counseling services, job training. Look in the telephone directory for their location/phone #. I advise you to contact them or someone to guide you. It would be wise not to mention this to the man or his daughter at this time.

Answer 9

I think now a days young girls who have children think of themselves before their precious child!
I think you need to have a long prayer, ponder and mediation and decide what you feel is best for your baby, not necessarily you! I think if someone truly loves their baby, they want the best for it! And I think being raised by someone who can't offer them all they deserve isn't loving them! A lot of girls keep their babies out of guilt, and feeling that they need to make up for their choice! I don't think that is the case! You sound like you really love this child, and i know how hard it must be to be thinking about giving your baby to another family, but again you need to really think hard about what you feel would be the best for your child! and although it sounds stupid, it may be the best thing for you, if you did give it up! BUT, it is your choice! Think it through thoroughly!
This answer was not meant to make you feel bad, more what i have noticed here on yahoo! I pray that you make the right decision! Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer 10

That seems like a hard decision, but the only thing I know is that if you give your son away you will probably regret it for the rest of your life, maybe when he's older he won't even want anything to do with you because you gave him away. There has to be another solution, maybe you can start looking for a job? Or see how the government can help you, have you looked into jobcorp or some type of orgnization like that?