I left an abusive/cheating relationship. It didn't get bad until the last year (we dated for 5 years). Lately I've been wondering if it was me, if it was my fault that I let him do that and why did I put up with it so long? Is there something sick in my head? I know I need time alone to figure things out. Why did I find someone like that? Why did it turn out so wrong?
2006-10-22 14:11:45 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
it was NOT you....no excuse for a partner to be abusive....BUT, what happens is, they suck you in, they have control over you and they take away your self esteem....i too, was in a abusive marriage, for way to long, more verbal, but still physical at times, and i felt like i was 1 inch tall, until, i got back up on my feet, and divorced the SOB....today, i am a better person and better mother to my kids then i ever was in my entire marriage....
1st. thing you have to come to grips with is the fact that it NEVER was you it was ALWAYS him....
once you realize that and truly believe that, than you will be able to go forward with your life...
and remember, the best is yet to come to you...
keep your head held high, and be proud of who you are, you are stronger than you realize...
GOOD LUCK to YOU!!
2006-10-22 14:26:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the relationship I'm sure did not start out this way so you had no way of knowing how bad it would be...if it did start out in this way it just didn't seem so bad to you at first then yes it is your fault for trying to continue the relationship...females have this issue where we think we can change these guys and then when we cant we blame our selves for the failure...and by the way you don't attract this type its just that 98% of men are mean and or cheaters...this situation is some what your fault only because you saw how this guy was and you chose to stay...however all of his poor choices and poor behavior had nothing to do with you so don't take the blame for his actions
2006-10-22 21:24:03 · answer #2 · answered by elizy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant blame yourself for his problems. He would've done it to whoever he was with - even if it wasnt you. He probably told you that it was your fault and that he had to because of something you did or said. Dont believe it. Dont take the blame that belongs to him. Let him have it and carry it around with him every day of his life. Someday he'll think back and wish he hadnt done the things hes done. Chances are, he's abused and cheated on other women and he'll most certainly do it again. Get together with some of your girl friends and forget about him. Best of luck to you!
2006-10-22 21:21:04 · answer #3 · answered by missie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't be so hard on yourself. it is not your fault he was abusive he has issues. you got away from him and you should be proud of yourself for that. nothing is wrong with you, you fell in love with him. give yourself time and you will find a great man.
2006-10-22 21:17:29 · answer #4 · answered by firefly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it aint your fault
if he was abusive he was an asshole and if he cheated look at my answer before
a few (but not all) guys are like that if so just dump them on their *** and leave and if he does anything hurtful still, call the cops and watch them beat his *** into the curb.
2006-10-22 21:15:58 · answer #5 · answered by Foamy the Squirrel!!!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i I totally agree with 2. It's not your fault. It's his.
2006-10-22 21:19:48 · answer #6 · answered by Ms. A-Rod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a mellow guy and service him well, it isn't you.
2006-10-22 21:19:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋