A girl is 19 years old and we go to church together. I am a few years older than she is. We are in the college age range.
She gets nervous around me and she shows some signs that she might like me. She knows I like her, but her feelings are hard to read.
Well I took everyone's advice and made up my mind to talk to her.
When I try to talk to her, she shys away. She's not mean or anything, but she will start clinging to her mother or sister and subconciously move away from me(with a puppydog face). She's not really running away or anything, but she's just hard to talk to because of this. i.e. she seems scared.
Is she just shy or should I stay away? Also, if she keeps this up, how do I talk to her? What are some techniques? I really want to talk to her one way or another, but I don't want to upset her. I need some honest answers from some ladies. I only see her once a week and I need to break this ice.
2006-10-22 13:51:56 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well it could be 2 things. 1: You could be totally unattractive to her, and she's trying to not even make any contact with you because she might make you think she's interested. OR 2: If #1 isn't the case, she might be intimidated, or worried that she's not cool enough for you. Hopefully #2 is the reason. If so, then make small talk with her, even if she starts to cling around her family, and don't look at her too much from a distance. Make good eye contact, don't make bad jokes, don't laugh loud, smile and say what you have to say and leave, because then, she will want to know what just happend. One minute your all into her, and then your on your way out. This tactic makes us wonder whats going on. Hope this helps! :)
2006-10-22 14:06:13 · answer #1 · answered by miss 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it is not her, perhaps it is her family that is making her feel uncomfortable about talking to you or any boy for that matter. Do you all have separate classes when you attend church--away from the family? perhaps write her notes or buy little cards, you have made the first step in trying to talk to her, perhaps now you just step back and just speak and maybe make occassional eye contact, you never know why she is shying away it could be an insecurity or something happened to her in the past...don't give up on her, but don't try to hard either...bring a single rose or carnation when you see her and just say hello and keep on going
2006-10-22 20:58:02 · answer #2 · answered by Droopi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go up to her and say " Can I speak to you for a moment?" Don't go too far from the crowd, but sit down with her, so she can't just shy away. If she just gets up and walks away while your talking to her or if she says no I don't want to talk to you. Leave her alone. She may be shy but there is more going on than that if she is clinging to her mother. She is a little old for that isn't she? How does she know you like her?
2006-10-22 21:00:59 · answer #3 · answered by tjb 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be civil but keep your distance. See how she responds. Unless there is an obvious reason for her shyness (like another boy friend or negative feelings about you at this particular time), you may be wise to not pursue this relationship. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.
2006-10-22 20:58:59 · answer #4 · answered by DrB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to talk to her when she doesnt have the opportunity to cling on to someone else. Then confront her by telling her the truth, how you feel. At that point all she can do is tell you something, i mean she is 19, she's not a little girl.
2006-10-22 20:56:24 · answer #5 · answered by kay 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Read between the lines!
She may be shy, I give you that. But if so, then she's shy about hurting your feelings. She doesn't have the heart to let you down. Back off and look elsewhere, Chief. The writing is in big red letters on the wall.
2006-10-22 20:55:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just ask her out. I doubt she gets all shy and runs off before you can say anything at all. Get it over with and find out...at least before someone else asks her first. You never know, she might think you're too shy to ask her too. And where is that gonna get you?
2006-10-22 20:57:56 · answer #7 · answered by cali.girl95660 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try just being friends first and see if she opens up to you. Take your time and be patient since you don't know why she is shying away.
2006-10-22 20:56:56 · answer #8 · answered by Cruella 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to go out to grab lunch after church... ask her a couple weeks straight to make sure it isnt a conflict with another engagement if she says no. GOOD LUCK!!
2006-10-22 20:56:05 · answer #9 · answered by inquiringmind 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try and get her when she is alone.... Because maybe she tries to keep someone around whenever you are near. If not, try something else.... And if all else fails.. Just try your best and set your sights on something new.. If she is a few years younger then you she is still is under 18 (legal age) and maby needs time to mature
2006-10-22 20:55:16 · answer #10 · answered by de0ndre4eva 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋