Okay, so here is what happened, we are in our mid twenties and we have been together for about 2 months. My boyfriend, his best friend (A MALE) and I were all hanging out at my b/f house having a good time when my b/f was just like ‘lets have a threesome’! I mean he had me dance with his friend while he recorded us on his phone, he kept encouraging me to kiss his friend (which I finally did, on the cheek but his friend later kissed me by surprise on the lips with a little tongue – yuck!!!) We didn’t have the threesome, I said maybe later, and when his friend finally left I told him that I didn’t want to have a threesome and that I was kind of upset he’d ask (although I would have been more offended if he’d asked to include another girl instead of the guy). I mean he said that he’d never done anything like that before, and that he’d never wanted to but for some reason he just thought of it, but then he was like, well you went with it – because his friend and I had kissed. I mean I have met a good portion of his family, and most of his friends but I am still kind of unsure whether he really respects me or if he just wants to pass me around. I mean it was only with that one friend that he said we could do that. I don’t know, what do you people think about all this.
Oh and later on in the week I asked him if he really cared about me and he said “ya, even though you kissed my best friend” and he said that it was a test. But I don’t know about that because why would he have waited until I asked him if he cared to tell me that. And also, if it really was some sort of test wouldn’t I have failed it?
2006-10-22 13:51:13 · 13 answers · asked by Z ben 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is ok to want experiences like "threesomes", that is not the issue. The problem I see here is that if he REALLY respected you, he would have asked you in PRIVATE whether you would like something like that or not.THAT would have consider you ideas abou it. He would have thought, even after he asked you in front of his friend, that he might be hurting you feelings and would have dropped the whole thing.
HE has not right to "test" you. which is the next "test"??? leave you alone in a room full of male friends? come on! relationships are NOT based on tests of any sort! I not he has the guts to COMPLAIN? it feels like he is gathering up material to manipulate you, so you, in trying to please him, would do whatever he wants.
Two months is too short a time to get into this type of trouble. Else than thinking whether he respects your or not, I would be thinking whether I respect enought a guy that treats me like that. If you do not, then dump him!.
2006-10-22 14:08:27 · answer #1 · answered by Buzana 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This situation is setting off so many alarms I can barely type.
Run, run like your hair is on fire. Disrespect. Manipulation. Forcing non consensual sexual play. Filming it without your permission. Demeaning your concerns. Putting the blame on you. And blatant disregard for your best interests. What more do you need exactly to get the message that this guy is bad news waiting for a victim. Don't be it.
2006-10-22 20:58:27 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay what he did is really nasty especially making you kiss his friend. You really need to talk to him and tell him how uncomfortable you really are about the situation. Dont let him "test" you like this anymore. Sometimes you have to put your foot down. Good Luck!
2006-10-22 20:55:10 · answer #3 · answered by Matt A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like a jack@$$ and you should either talk to him about it or dump. tell him that you were offended that he even thought about that and that the fact that he uses the kiss against you when it was his idea is just wrong and he had better drop it before you drop him. and no i don't think he respects you or he wouldn't be using that kiss against you.
2006-10-22 20:59:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think he trusts anyone enough to respect them, a test is a childish way of making you feel guilty no matter your response, you need to sit down and think if he is worth you. If not leave, if so you need to have a talk with him.
2006-10-22 20:59:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my first reaction to this is that he might think you liked his friend. is the friend good looking? do the two of you get along really well? are you really cool & pretty, and maybe the friend has a crush on *you*? all things to ask yourself.... so yea, it might have been a "test."
just my first-reaction answer. :)
2006-10-22 20:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by melon_rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did they pay you for your performance?
No, he doesn't respect you. He thinks he might get you to do things for him and his friends, but do you think a man who loves and adores his woman asks to her screw around with his friend?
A test, huh? How charming. But... well, you went with it.
2006-10-22 20:56:28 · answer #7 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to have boundaries in a relationship, what you are willing to do and what you aren't.you have a right to say no to him.don't be so compliant to his ever wim,set boundaries.he is playing games with your head, and i would run as fast as i could away from him.
2006-10-22 21:16:31 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Toss him!!! Why is he testing you? It seems to me that he is a little punk that has no respect.
2006-10-22 20:55:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he cant get over the idea that you did kiss him but he knows it happen because it was his idea
2006-10-22 21:03:33 · answer #10 · answered by Rox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋