Why are so many people so set against smacking a child.?

Question

What is the world coming to when we cannot punish a child for doing wrong when he/she takes no notice of a telling off.
There is a definate line between beating and smacking and as long as it is not crossed I do see the harm. I along with my brother and sisters had many a slapped backside it didn't do us any harm. It certainly didn't scar us or teach us violence.

Well going by a majority of the answers here, people prefer to live in a world of unruly children. There are plenty of them out there now taking guns and knives to school how many more children will suffer at another childs hands, there is little of not no dicipline in the home or schools anymore. Most children of today know that they can more or less do what they like as no one is going to punish them. How many incidents of joy riding have there been this month and how many fatalites. God help us all

Answer 1

i have to say i had a few red bottoms in my youth.
i don't actually agree with it though, i don't think you should have to resort to smacking or shouting. i change the tone of my voice to my child, she knows she is doing wrong, also a naughty step as they feel ashamed.

Answer 2

It makes the child feel angry and not trust you.

Let me ask you this serious question - When the child does something naughty and gets a smack what is worse - the thing the child did or hitting? Usually hitting is the answer.

How would you feel if you made a mistake (which we all do or misbehaved at work and your boss came up and gave you a slap? You would feel angry and violated. That is how children feel. And our poor kids are not old enough or do not have enough power in the relationship to defend themselves or stick up for themselves.

Also - What does smacking teach them? Nothing about what they have done wrong or what they should have done. It is not positive discipline. On the other hand it does teach them that when someone does something wrong - hit them.

So if a child has a problem with another kid at school he/she is more likely to hit that other child than to deal with it in the right way (which is what we should be doing with them - dealing with it in the right way)

Smacking as a discipline is modelling that behaviour to the child and telling them it is ok to hit. When it is not!

As a mother and a past counsellor I have really looked into this area. My childcare gave me a list of reasons not to smack when i was having a lot of trouble with my son at one stage. I casually mentioned that i was going to resort to smacking and then the director took me seriously and gave me a report from a childcare team of experts with a list of negatives/problems with smacking.

It was a real eye opener and it changed my tune completely.

I am really against it now. I was smacked when i was a child and i still go to smack my kids sometimes because that was how i was raised. I have to really stop myself. My kids are so upset if i do smack them. They dont even remember or want to talk about what they did wrong - they are too upset and angry that i hurt them. They know that hitting others is wrong.

Anyway as you can tell i am very passionate about it! I wish there was a campaign out there that showed parents the real truth about smacking. It would shock a lot of people.

Answer 3

I have to say that the answers that I read are actually very disturbing to see that so many out there believe so strongly against loving discipline. Loving is the key word here because it requires involvement into the kids lives so that you can know enough about each child, all of which being different, and determine if it is in the best interests of the kid to be sat in a corner or something like this or to LOVINGLY be spanked in order to help them. Some kids seem to be easier to get through to them by just talking to them one on one, while others I believe require something more.

Young ones today can almost do nothing that would shock any of us anymore, I don't want to outright say that this is soley because of a lack of discipline, because I believe there is still more to it than this, but you have to wonder what is different about today's young ones compared to when some of us were younger.

When it is said that this line of discipline is something people don't know, how not to cross it's important to realize this line has existed forever in child raising so to say now we are too out of control is an excuse of saying we as good parents can't be trusted with a little something called control

Good question
And I agree with you fully Poppy

Answer 4

Hitting a child is not necessary, it teaches nothing but hitting.
"It certainly didn't scar us or teach us violence." Then why are you asking the question "Why are so many people so set against smacking a child?" Obviously you think it's ok to hit...and guess where and HOW you learned that? You've proven the 'other side's" point quite well.
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Where do you think the children got the idea to take guns and knives to school in the first place? AT HOME. Teaching violence in the home isn't going to solve the problem of violence in the schools or anywhere else. Hitting a child is teaching them to be violent...so go ahead teach your child to hit out of spite, anger, whatever...but don't be surprised if your child is sent home from school for doing so to someone else, and don't complain when your child out of anger hits you or other members of his family becuse YOU are the one who taught him/her to do so in the first place.
Take a look at some of the questions/comments on this board alone about children hitting siblings, parents even day care providers out of anger or want of a toy...they were taught to hit and now it is backfiring on those who taught the child to hit. Parents are a child's first teachers, it is what they learn in the home that they will take with them throughout their entire lives. So go ahead teach your child how to hit. Maybe by the time he is old enough the war in Iraq will still be going strong and he can hit someone over there.

Answer 5

The bible says spare the rod spoil the child. And that is exactly what it means. No punishment and they are spoiled. It is a pity so many parents are afraid to punish their children because of child well fare stepping in. There is a line that you cross when you punish make the child aware that you mean what you say and say what you mean. Don't be afraid to punish when they need it but in turn don't beat them either. Raise your voice and be firm. A good smack on the butt never hurt a child, and I know from the voice of experience if you don't get a handle on them when they are young you loose total control the older they get.

Answer 6

Smacking isn't an appropriate way of dealing with things. If it was then we would use it as adults too. You can't just smack someone because they misbehave whether they are a child or an adult.

If you think it is ok to smack children as punishment when they don't respond to your verbal attempts surely it must be ok to do the same with your colleagues in work, your parents, your friends, cashiers in shops etc? Of course not! So why do people think it is ok to do so to a person who cannot defend themselves.

A child is still learning the difference between right and wrong and wont always behave. If one approach doesn't work then try another, and another, and another till you find one that works. Smacking is just lazy. It's the sign of a person who can't be bothered to find a way to communicate and be understood. It's a sign of someone who hasn't the patience to get through and looks for an easy solution. You will eventually have to find a different way of dealing with your child as the violent approach loses it's imact after a while and if you carry on too long they will hit back so why not start as you mean to go on.

In many cases it does no harm but it also does no good. Children, particularly the really young ones, don't know why they have been smacked. And even an explanation later on when you have calmed down and your frustration has eased doesn't mean your child will make the association. All children learn from that is that when you can't get someone to do what you want you smack them and they wont be behaving because they understand appropriate behaviour but because of fear. You aren't teaching your child a thing.

Many people are scared by smacking. I know for one it had an impact on me in my teens. When I wasn't heard or couldn't express myself in a way I wanted to I lashed out. I grew out of it and changed myself.

I also looked after children on a full time basis for over ten years and never once had to raise a finger as a form of punishment so I don't think there is a need to smack.

Answer 7

What age are you talking about? Are you talking about smacking their faces or butts? Smacking hands...ok. Butts....ok. Faces...NO! But the key is for them to understand why they are being smacked and not smacking them the first time they do something wrong. I give my 2 1/2 yr old. 3 times. If on the third time he still doesn't listen, depending on what it is he's doing, I'll smack him. If you do smack their butts and they wear diapers, do it at the bottom on it. You're not actually smacking them, more like the diaper. They get the idea of it and it works. It's to the point now that after the 1st or 2sd time of telling him to stop doing something he's not supposed to he stops. He knows if I say it 3 times, he'll get his diaper smacked. There are also times that time outs work.

I don't smack my 7 yr. old. He is old enough to know better now. I put him in time out or take something away from him. I haven't smacked his butt since he was 5.

Answer 8

Ok, I was whipped as a child and I dont think that it helped me at all. Actually all it did was made those the memories that I now have of my Dad. My husband is a strong believer in spankings too, I am not. My son only learned from spankings how to hit other people. My daughter learned to yell when you come close to her when she is in trouble to yell no daddy no! That is terrible and she was far from being beat on, just occasional whippings. I believe no one should touch my childs *** in anyway, not her/his father, not grandparents, no one in general. If they need disicpline I will handle it my way not the cruel way. Ask yourself this "Do I like being hit, would it hurt if someone came up and swatted me has hard as possible on my ***?" I hope you answered this question with a no and then a yes.

Answer 9

i think its because these days there are other ways to hurt a child i.e. instead of smaking take their pocket money away or take there fave toy away for at least a day. for my son i have a chart if he is good he gets a sticker if he is bad he gets 1 toy taken from him and everytime i do this he never does that certain naughty thing again. my parents smacked me alot as i was a problem child i couldnt deal with going to school and people asking me why my face was red or my legs purple in the end i moved in with my nan as smacking was making me worse as i just blocked out the shouting and smacking and realised i still got the same treats

Answer 10

Nothing wrong with an open handed smack or two against a butt or thigh! I had my share. I'm in no way scarred or violent. I have never been afraid of my parents.

If a parent tells a kid to stop something or they're getting spanked and they choose not to stop they made the choice to get the spanking. That's all it is to it! All these people who think spanking is so horrible must be the ones that would never mind and got spankings but would have preferred sitting in a 'naughty spot'!

I think some people on here that it against spankings are too simple minded to know the difference from spankings and fist fights! They keep bringing up that adults are stronger than kids, and 'hitting'....

Just look at this world- Kids get away with everything now! When I was in school teachers had the right to paddle right in the classroom and boy did it keep kids in line but now all they get is sent to the big scary office for a call to the parents who mostly will have a 'talk' with them later. Whoo hooo- some deterrent!

Answer 11

I agree with smacking a child but, only on their hands. bottom and legs. With out smacking kids would be joy riding more than wot they are now , drugs and anti social behaviour would be more of a problem and the kids of today would completely out of control. They would have no respect for themselves or anyone else. Ecspecially there mothers and fathers and family members