How do I get my 5 yr old daughter to respect me & other adults?

Question

She is not respecting me, or her teachers. She understands that she will loose special things. (ie: TV, 4 wheeler...)

this has been going on for about 6mo. my husband and I keep the same punisment every time. She lost all her "fun" stuf, and has to earn them back. She had just earned back TV 2 days b/f she lost it again. I know she understands when we talk to her, but I am tired of talking. We asked her what she thaught we should do and she said " I should tell my teacher I'm sorry I upset her, and ask her to forgive me." That lets me know she knows what she does is wrong.

Answer 1

You have to keep applying the discipline until she starts to behave. Even if it comes down to taking away all her toys, even if it comes down to taking away her bed sheets. At some point she is going to realize that there are limits to how far you are going to let her misbehavior go. She is testing those limits and in her eyes she is winning. I don't know what you are taking away from her, but it is not enough.

You might even ask her what punishment she should face. Children are often harsher than their parents are when assigning a punishment for their own misbehavior. If she gives you a valid punishment then there is a hope for her. If she gives you a trivial punishment then you have a bigger problem and may need some professional help.

Give stronger discipline a try. She is old enough that you can talk with her so you shouldn't have to beat her. If this misbehavior continues then you might want to consult a doctor about a possible diagnose of ADD, but this is a last resort.

Answer 2

I've raised seven kids, and I've learned that they are so much more aware and understanding of what life is all about than we think. A five year old is more than capable of carrying on a conversation with an adult. There are some strategies, but my favorite is talking.

When my son was little, he would have these times when he would be so awful. I didn't know what to do about it. I actually sat him down and tried to talk to him, getting to understand why he did things, but not being mad at him or judging him. I made sure he knew that I loved him no matter what. He said "I don't know" about a hundred times, but after a while of just talking and trying to understand him, he finally said he was sad because I had started a job and was gone at night. That was hard to hear, I felt terrible, but then I explained to him why I had to do that. He understood (we needed a new car), and was so much better after that. He is now 20 years old and still hugs and kisses me. The trick is to keep the relationship open to discussion, let them know what is going on, and try to understand.

We had a rule that no one got punished unless they did one of 3 things. 1) if they did something very dangerous 2) if they lied, or 3) if they did something that they had been told not to do many, many times. They knew the system, and it worked well.

Treat people (and children) the way you wish they were, and they will change.

Answer 3

So you're going to "punish" her by taking things away rather than disciplining her by making her EARN them to begin with? That's where you've taught your daughter not to respect. Rules need to be set in the very beginning. For an example when my daughter was 5 there was NO television, NO games, NO videos until she EARNED those privliges. When she behaved in a repectable manner, acted appropriately, she was "rewarded" by earning television time, or a video etc. Television veiwing was at a minimum, not more than an hour per day during the week and not more than a total of six hours on weekends/holidays. Not only did my daughter learn to respect others but she has at the age of 20 earned the respect of those who are much older than her because of her behavior. I never "punished" I disciplined and I never had to "take" anything away as it was never offered until she had earned it.

Answer 4

First....always speak to her with respect. Even when you've lost your cool with her.....remain respectful and demand the same from her. Do not respond to her when she speaks to you horribly. Ignore her even, until she changes her tone. Make sure she only hears you speaking with respect to eveyone, including your husband (I'm guilty of not always doing that when I'm upset with him).

Stop the punishments and start the rewards. Keep a chart in a highly visable area. Outline what is expected of her (in pictures if she's not reading) and what she'll get. For example:

Get up and ready quickly and nicely = 30 minutes TV
Speak nicely to teachers = mom reads 1 book at bed time
Use nice words at night = 1 scoop ice cream before bed.

You get the idea....the only way it will work though is..once she's earned something, it's hers. You can NOT take it away, no matter how awful she is later.

Generally, rewards work better then punishments for kids (even if it's the same principle just different wording). Stick to it, it usually takes a couple of weeks to adjust.

GOod luck!

Answer 5

nicely i think of ur attitude is all incorrect. that's clearly a 5 year old have been conversing approximately. who's the grownup right here? of course this baby is jealous which you have moved in to take the mummy function and is defying u, according to hazard u ought to all artwork jointly and attempt kinfolk counseling even extremely than punishing a 5 year old. how lots good judgment can a 5yr old have. u are smarter so attempt to repair the area esp if u plan on staying married.

Answer 6

Well, you have to actually take those things away from her and make her respect you & other adults before getting them back. She will never learn to respect adults if all she hears is idol threats. She sees that it don't matter how she acts, she will always get what she wants. If you follow through with the threats and stick to your guns on it, then she will see that she has to earn those things back. Consistancy is the key. And sometimes, if it is a bad enough offense......a spanking wouldn't hurt either. If all of the other things don't seem to work.

Answer 7

My son used to do this. I would after I had him tell whoever we were with Sorry make him go to his room As Mommy needed some time to feel better. As he hurt Mommy. My son hates the idea he has hurt me. usually within a few Minutes he's calling me politely to ask me if he cn come out and say he's sorry. Now he doesn't do that behavior.

Answer 8

It may not be politically correct but a good ole spanking would be what the doctor ordered sounds like to me. Just don't use your hand. The hand of the parent should bring thoughts of caring and comfort. I would suggest using a belt. Possibly buying one just for that purpose. That way when you pick it up she will understand she has stepped over the line and it is time to back up.

Answer 9

Punishment, the same punishment every time. Explain to her whats expected of her, what behavior you will accept and which you wont. When she chooses poor behavior she gets punished. No reasoning, no warning, no pleading, immediate swift punishment.

You have to be consistant with her at home, or she'll never learn how to behave when she's away.

Taking things away does do anything. Time out, or a good spanking does.

Answer 10

By showing her respect. Children have to be shown that respect is a give and take. You can't expect her to show respect to others when (usually) don't give it to children first. For some stupid reason adults expect kids to automatically show it- they have to be taught first. I try to talk to my daughter like a human being instead of being ugly when she acts up b/c she's 6 yrs old and they do at that age.