My dd is 2 years old. She is a bright affectionate child full of fun, we laugh alot but when she gets into her head she's gonna do something irriguardless of whether it's wrong or not, she's gonna do it!
I do time-outs, taking away all privalages, talking to her and explaining, spanking, standing in the corner, making up for her naughtiness such as having to clen up toys etc. Not getting dessert....I'm at my wits end, and i know alot of us have been there done that and some will say it's the terrible two's it will pass, well, it needs to pass with her knowing she can't do things and get away with it kwim!!!
I have no family support not even my in-laws, we never see them. She goes to mothers day out twice a week thats all we can afford and she does fantastic, listens, does as she's told, shares, eveyryone loves her, but at home, she can get the biggest strop and will play deaf in a heartbeat! So, anyone with any suggestions or tricks that worked for you?
2006-10-22 10:27:01 · 13 answers · asked by Kat 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
you won't get cooperation with a strop. It will alienate her. Don't take it all as defiance, lighten up. If she's not gonna get hurt or destroy something expensive then let her explore things. It's a sign of intelligence and intense curiosity.
2006-10-22 10:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok if you have to take something away, it's NOT a privlige. Privliges are EARNED not given outright. So what you are doing is taking away something you have already given to her as a right. Then you turn around and teach her how to hit by spanking her. Then you expect HER to behave? She doesn't understand the concept of being "punished". She doesn't KNOW she has done something "wrong" I suggest you talk to the people where she spends a day away from you and find out what it is THEY are doing. I'll bet they're not hitting her, not taking something away that they gave her as a right. They probably work on the discipline and reward method, where rules are set and everytime a child behaves they are rewarded, rather than being punished all the time or hit. It worked in my home, there was no television (especially not in the bedrooms) no videos, no games upon demand. She was allowed on hour of television during the week IF she behaved all day. If not, she didn't get to her PRIVLIGES. Twice a month if she had shown good behavior most of the two weeks we would do something "special" stop and get a frozen yougurt on the way home from daycare, go to the bookstore and browse, positive reinforcements...All you've shown your daughter is how to be negative. No wonder she doesn't listen to you. I suggest you check with your local county and see if you can take parenting classes.
2006-10-23 02:06:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems to me that your daughter does what she wants either because the consequence doesn't matter to her or because she knows she will get away with it anyway...some parents feel that they discipline when in reality they aren't consistent or serious about it when they're doing the disciplining...if you say no 1 out of 3 times that your child does something wrong then she knows she can get away with what she is doing if you put her in time-out every once in a while then she really doesn't trust that it will happen every time she does as she shouldn't therefore she is getting away with it...if you smile and laugh or tell her not to do something in a sweet tone it means nothing to her other than oh mom doesn't really care...kids are far smarter then most believe them to be and they know exactly what the parents reaction will be and they know how to get around their parents to do what they want if the parent is asleep on the job or more frequently the parent is just extremely inconsistent and that's the worst thing you can do when disciplining a child and keep this in mind...at 2 years or 12 years if that child takes you for a joke then they will never listen at home your baby girl is pushing limits and testing you and she obviously sees its ok!
2006-10-22 18:00:51 · answer #3 · answered by ELIZY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your child is a really good child if she behaves well outside and at home she goes crazy, them it's just that she figured out what makes you tick and as children they use it against us, what i think you should do is keep doing the things that you do to punish her, it will come to the point where she has to break or she will break you, what you shouldn't do is let her see you diplay and type of stress then she will pick up that she is getting to u, if you want to display anger or stress go out side or scream in a pillow but never let them see you showin weakness always look cool and calm which is hard, but it works.
Good Luck.
2006-10-22 17:36:49 · answer #4 · answered by Smooth1221 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The good news is, if she's only misbehaving at home and not around other people or in public, you're doing something right.
If its mild misbehavior (nose picking) usually a 'NOT COOL' or 'You know better than that.' works.
Say ' No', tell her why she shouldn't be doing it. Give her a chance to respond, if she doesn't, tell her WHY she's in trouble, and what you're going to do, then time out. Even if this means putting her in a closet for two minutes in the dark. No toys, no contact, no attention no matter how loud she screams. If she hates it she'll behave next time.
2006-10-22 17:43:35 · answer #5 · answered by Roadpizza 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
As long as you do not give up, that is what is important. She must have boundaries and she must be taught respect. Sounds like you are doing a good job. I think this is just a phase and I will pass soon. I went through the same with my daughter at about the same age. Hang in there, it'll get better soon, just stay on her and don't let up or it'll get worse. God Bless.
2006-10-22 17:40:20 · answer #6 · answered by HazelEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may be doing so well in daycare because the rules and consequences there are very consistent and concrete. You need to be very consistent with rules and punishment at home. If she has a different consequence each time she does something, it will confuse her and she is more likely to test you further to see what you will do next.
2006-10-22 17:33:05 · answer #7 · answered by **KELLEY** 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the parent. You are the boss. You make the rules and make her obey them. You need a naughty mat or a naughty chair. Everytime she is "bad" send her to that specific location and do not let her get up until you know she is ready to obey you. She is in her terrible 2's. Remember, u are the parent.
2006-10-22 18:02:35 · answer #8 · answered by Promoqueen in CA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she were 16, it would be a different story, but your daughter is two. You just have to stay no and remain firm. If you let her get away with murder now, your going to regret it.
2006-10-22 17:29:43 · answer #9 · answered by di12381 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son does things for meanness no matter how many times you say no. I found that a short yell No then if he keeps on a No and a spanking.
2006-10-22 18:24:05 · answer #10 · answered by Josh S 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋