Have you ever spoken and immediately wished you could take the words back or that you could crawl into a hole?

Question

Here are the testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a b*l*o*w job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.


SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just admiring your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, She was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."

Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,bentover, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks and choose her words more carefully. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

So what faux pas might you like to share?

Answer 1

These were great. My husband I had just had our first child and were having a hard time making ends meet. We decided one Friday night of payday to have ourselves a treat and go out for pizza. We had saved a little cash back, which he had put all of it in his wallet. When we were at the counter to pay, he looked at me and asked me if I was paying, knowing I didn't have any money. Without thinking I said to him, "I'm flat busted, you know that!" I realized what I had said (which was a double truth), I turned around and carried my baby outside and got into the car. He never let me forget it!

Answer 2

Ha ha, those are all Hilarius!! Thanks so much for sharing them!!
I say things all the time that I wish I could take back. See, I'm really a nice person, but I can say the meanest things to people I don't even know. Even if I like the person. Insults just pop into my head, and if I'm in the right mood, they'll come right out of my mouth. As soon as I say them I realize how cruel they are, and apologize. Generally people look at me like I'm crazy...

Answer 3

Thats so funny. But with the golf ball thing i would just of winked at him.

Answer 4

once, my friend had a rash on his arm and was just telling me how much it itched over and over, so i asked him, well why dont you just scratch your @$$?(rash)i realized what i said and stopped talking

Answer 5

haha someone e maid that to me the other day

Answer 6

happens to me all the time

Answer 7

tee hee hee