Is it considered selfish to only have one child?

Question

I have had quite a few people tell me (and my husband) that we should have more than one child. My husband and I have considered it, but the next child would have to go straight to daycare. (My 3yr old daughter was home until age 2 with in home care by a close relative who's now working.) I know I would be a nervous wreck putting an infant in daycare and I don't want too many children for financial reasons. We live comfortably and I don't want to change my spending habits. When I have given these reasons I was told that I was being selfish. Why is that a problem if I recognize it BEFORE I have another child, and not after??? My daughter is frequently with cousins that are her age and goes to preschool to interact with other children.

Also, my husband and I make pretty good money, so it wouldn't be that we can't afford it. It would be that it would cut into buying things I want for me, him and our daughter. Not necessities. This is why I wonder if it makes me selfish.

Answer 1

No it`s not selfish at all.I have 6 kids because I wanted a large family.I knew I could provide for them.If you only want 1 then dont have anymore.Alot of abused children comes from homes where the parents did not want anymore kids and kept having them.

Answer 2

If you feel comfortable having only one child then no, its not selfish at all, actually its the opposite, people say its selfish to have three or more children due to not being able to take care of them all and over populating, not relating to you of course. Though no I really doubt it's selfish though my advice to you will be just to not spoil her and not to be afraid to discipline her, because if she offends you once with a quote similar to this, " I hate you, I'm never going to speak to you again", because of a little thing it's for her own good as said and you mean well, although if you want another child go ahead that's not a bad choice either though it really matters on you.

Its your decision though my advice is if your going to keep her as an only child don't spoil her too much and teach her discipline, which I'm sure you will be a great father.
If you have another child that's okay to either way isn't selfish, the only selfish thing to do is not to raise them right and give them horrible junk food which will terrorize there nutrition.
You'll be a great father, good luck.

Answer 3

I don't think there is no right or wrong answer to this. It may seem a bit selfish to some people if you specifically said that you don't want to change your spending habits. If you don't explain of your financial problems then you would expect this kind of reaction. If you let them know you tried your best to support this child and they still don't support your decision, then they do not completely understand your situation and not putting themselves in your shoes.
Having a child requires some sacrifices. If you're not ready for this, then perhaps you shouldn't get another one yet and decide later when you're better financially.

Answer 4

No only having only one child is not selfish. If thats is what you want then that is what you want and no one really has any say so on you and your husbands relationship and what yall think is best for yall. As long as your child interacts with other children and have cousins close to their age, there is nothing wrong wit that. Also that is very helpful financially to have one child because then you won't spend twice as much on them and when they get older you wont have to go through twice as much puberty because let me tell you that is a lot of attitude i shiuld know i'm 15 and i still give my parents hell

Answer 5

Iam married to an only child and never in a million years would I ever raise one. Its unfair to the child in my opinion, but thats my own personal opinion and means nothing about your own parenting abilities. I jsut couldnt do it.

I certainly wouldnt consider having another child until youre able to be there for it until day care age. For your sake and the babies. Theres 7 years between me and my next sibling, 10 between me and the last. There was 14 years between my dad and the oldest. Theres no reason you guys cant just consider it as something in the furture.

Who cares what other people tell you. Its MUCH more selfish to have children that are unwanted or uncared for, the people telling you single children are wrong should consider that themselves before judging you.

Answer 6

I've had this argument with my mother numerous times because I don't want any children and she wants grandchildren.

Why are you worried what other people think about your personal life? If you only want one child then only have one child. The bottom line is, Its your life, live it for you and your (immediate) family, not other people. Its not selfish to consider what you want for your life. Live for your child first (because that's the responsibility you accepted in having a child) and live for you and your husband after that. If those other people are so smart, then let they can have have all the children they want.

Answer 7

There is nothing selfish about that. It's your choice, noone elses. I myself have 3 kids and couldn't imagine it any other way, but it's a personal thing. Even though you can afford another child, who says you have to have another. I think that you have a really good head on your shoulders and are a great mom. Don't worry about what other ppl think. They don't have to live in your shoes.

Answer 8

I certainly don't think it's selfish to have only one child...in fact, it's more selfish to have more children, especially if you are going to have someone else care for them. Both my husband and I are only children and we have one child. We have been told by many people that we should have more, but one is enough to handle!! If you only want one child, stick to your guns. Let all those other folks have a million babies and repopulate the earth.

Answer 9

No, not at all. My parents were in the same situation when I was born. My grandmother was my babysitter until I got into pre-school.

My parents debated the idea of having another kid but they didn't want to put more pressure on Grandma so that's how I became an only child.

Answer 10

Why would that be selfish? You have to do what's right for you and your family. If you can't afford another one, then don't have one.

This world is riddled with too many unwanted/neglected children as it is. Like Judge Judy says, you don't make a baby unless you know you can look after it.