Is it a good idea to get married at a age 19?

Question

My fiance & I have been together for a year & 6 months, we've actually known each other for 2 & half years before we started dating. He preposed to me after 8 months of dating. We will b getting married in 5 months. I'm very excited, because I know in my heart that he is the love of my life. I know for a fact that he feels the same way. Some people around me feel as if I'm to young, to me it doesn't sound fair for them to tell me what age is right when most of them married @ 18.

Answer 1

It's up to you to decide whether you are too young or not. It sounds to me like you have really thought about this and realized that this is the man for you. You are already ahead of some other people out there that marry for the wrong reasons.

Perhaps people are concerned because:

A) Maybe they married young and thought their age contibuted to some unnecessary stresses that they may not have had if they had waited

B) Maybe they are concerned about your future. At 19, there are a lot of years ahead of you to plan for your life. You could put many minds at ease, perhaps, if you let them know that you and your fiance have plans... that you have thought about your future. Have you thought about where you will live? How you will pay for it? If you will attend college and, if so, how you will pay rent or a mortgage while attending school. Do you have careers and if not, what are your goals for a career?

I'm just playing devil's advocate. Maybe those are the things that the elders around you are thinking about?

If you are in love and the two of you have a plan, then I say you are definitely not too young. But if you would have a better chance at a fruitful future if you gave it another year or two (the engagement) then maybe waiting is best?

Either way, follow your heart and just be happy. It's impossible for anyone else to really know how you feel.

Answer 2

I don't think you should get married at 18 because you haven't had time to be an individual yet and to do what you want to do yet. Before you turn 18, you live by your parent's rules and do what they want you to do and then when you get married, you have to think about someone else before you do what you want to do. The freedom is gone and there are limitations. For example, I regret marrying so young because I have really wanted to do 2 years in the Peace Corps. I couldn't do that because my husband is in the military and travels so it is up to me to stay here and pay the bills and take care of the house and the dog and all the other domestic responsibilities that a military man can't take care of while he is deployed. I say, "Why do you need to be married?" If you love each other and you want to be together, why do you feel the need to make it official just for that ring and piece of paper? Divorces may be easy to get but that doesn't make it right. If it truly is love, then you will both still love each other in a few years without getting married, why rush something like this?

Answer 3

In my personal opinion, I don't think it's a good idea to get married at 19.( I'm getting married next July and I'll be 25, when my big day rolls around. I will have been with my fiance for over three years.) I feel this way because I think that people are still finding out who they are as a person and as an adult. You barely have gone through the transition as a high school student to an adult. I know that if I would have met my fiance at 19 he wouldn't have dated me. I was an immature girl. Not saying you are, just that people need to grow into being a mature responsible adult. It's fine to date but don't rush into marriage.

I think that young people should not be tied down in a long term relationship and date different types of people. Just to know what's out there.

This is my opinion anyway....

Answer 4

It depends what marriage means to you and why you are doing it. If marriage is about committment and you really mean that you'll never leave this guy, then it is a big decision. I don't know how mature you are at 19, but if I had married at that age I wouldn't have probably stayed married. I am planning a wedding now at 31, and it is a constant conversation about what it really means to us. I have been together with him for almost 2 years now, and he proposed after 1 year. I keep finding out both good and bad things about him every day. In my heart I know that no matter who I marry, it is going to be a lot of ups and downs. I have enough experience in the world to know that you'll never find the perfect mate. If marriage is a way to show your parents you are an adult, then I think you are too young.

Answer 5

I am a firm believer in not giving unsolicited advise so I understand how you feel frustrated that people around you are telling you that you are too young. With that said they are probably doing out of love. I also think 19 is very young to get married. I was in a similar situation when I was your age and now that I am 22, I am so glad that I didn't do it. I say if you really feel like you are the loves of each other's life's then wait, you will have all that time in the future together. My friends and I have all changed so much from 19-23, you may not change or you may. Would you rather wait like a year in a half and know you are ready or take your chances and possibly end up divorced? Congrats on the engagement.

Answer 6

My brother was married at 18 & his wife was seventeen. She turned 18, 3 weeks later. They've been married thus far 28 years.

But that's them. How do you feel about it? Are you emotionally ready? If something happens to your fiance's health, are you educated enough where will you be able to support the family? Have you done the things in life you want to like travel? There are alot of things that you can accomplish in marriage; but what happens if you've always wanted to see Grand Canyon but finances will not allow that....ever. Are you going to feel cheated?

Realize this is a vow for life; not til you get bored, have problems or something else better comes along. Give it c-a-r-e-f-u-l consideration. Only you can come up with the answer.

Answer 7

I am going to have to say no, its not really advisable. Not because of age or anything but you really havent given yourself ample enough time to experience your life yet. I can tell you that it will never happen, but who knows- if you really love each other anything is possible. Me on the other hand, would suggest that you stay together, but finish college, get a very nice job and get a hold on your financial life so just in case a child is introduced into the relationship, you have a firm footing in the world. You owe it to yourself to experience life. The ages from 18-25 are the busiest and best parts and really define who you are and who you will be in life.

But since you are already getting married, congratulations. You will need to work very hard to make sure it works out-

and remember, marriage is a partnership. To be able to get through it, you both will have to sit down and lay out what exactly you expect from this marraige and work together to get to that common place. Never go to bed angry, and talk through all problems, no matter what the size of it. Keep honesty, religion and morals high on your to-do list...

:0)

Answer 8

No do not get married.

I can speak form experience it will not work. I married my ex-husband seven months after we started dating. I really did not know that much about myself nor about him. Later I found out that he was abusive womanizer.

I spent 5 years trying to make him happy and forgot about myself. The only good thing that came out of the relationship was my sons. But I found out that I was better off as a single mother then dealing with him.

After leaving him at 24 I finally found who I was. Please do not make the same mistake. I know you think that everything is wonderful now. But in the back of your mind you are having doubts or you would have not posted this question.

If you really think that he is the one then wait a few years and get to know each other. If you are going to be together then waiting will not change anything.

Answer 9

You are too young. You have no idea how much both of you are going to grow up and change in the next several years.

If you really love each other and want to be married, you should maintain the engagement but put off the marriage until you are at least 21. There is a lot in store for both of you before then.

Answer 10

You are a completely different person at 18/19 than you are at 25 or 30. Most 19yr olds have barely experienced life and they are nowhere near ready to settle down even though they feel otherwise.

I personally think it's a bad idea but it's your life and you have to learn from your own mistakes. Get married at 19 if you want to and see where life takes you.