What to do when you are in love?

Question

My bf broke up with me this week, and I am very hurt. He has not spoken to me or contacted me in any way. I have not tried to contact him either because I have not gotten over my anger yet. I feel like couples brake up and make up all the time, but this is out 1 brake up so I am unsure of what's next. I don't know if I contact him if it will make me appear weak, I don't know if his pride will not let him ever contact me or I don't know if it is really over. We broke up because I wanted our relationship to go to the next level, but he always made me feel like we should just stay where we are. How are you able to talk to and spend time with someone for 8 months, and then just stop talking to them when your break up was not a bad or messy one. What do I do just sit back and hope he contacts me, leave it alone or contact him.

I don't want any "smart a**" answers because men and women both know that after a break up it's hard especially for women because it's hard for us to let go.

Answer 1

Try to have patience, usually the hardest thing for us to do is the best. If he loves you. he will be back. You can never force someone to be in your life.

Answer 2

Breaking up with someone that you love can be extremely painful. It is like part of you has gone and you have to learn to live your life by yourself again. I personally think you shouldn’t call him although this will be very difficult to do. Think about why you broke up. Do you want to go back to someone who will not take it to the next level? Do you want to always be wanting more? One thing I have learned in life is that you cannot change people. People change themselves if they want to. So if your ex does not want further commitment then there is nothing you can do to change that. You either have to accept him as he is or move on. Both choices not being the best. Time will heal though and I know you will not want to hear that now or feel it will be possible but really it will. I think you have to be very nice to yourself right now and treat yourself, be indulgent but take steps forward in your new life even though that seems very hard to do right now. Try and think positively and don’t dwell on what could have been. I do hope you feel better really soon.

Answer 3

Okay lets address a few issue here

First, Sorry for your loss and I hope your heart heals soon.

Second, The break up happened for a reason and you must consider that if you both are so mad still that it effected a deep emotional issue for both of you. Neither want to compromise on it, so that's a "deal breaker". If that is the case, they you must consider what actions just occurred and heal yourself so that when then next relationship occurs you will know better how to deal with it.

Most importantly~
Healthy couples do not ever get on the "breakup to makeup" carousal. Its not benefiting anyone-ever. So if you want to keep it as it is...continue doing what you are doing.

Sometimes "Winning" is not the right thing. Because it looks like there are several losers in this game of love. Right?

Write out the issues. calm down, release the anger and pain and contact him if that is what you want to do. If not release him and move on.

Answer 4

I know how you feel I am in love and we are doing great and My ex bf Broke my heart and I couldnt get over it for like 3 months and it was hard and what you should do is call him up and tell him how u feel about him and hopefully he will under stand. hope he dont go off on you again cuz if i was with someone for 8 months and i told him that i wanted to take it to the next level I would want him to listen and hope he would want to take it to the next level.

Answer 5

ok hope this helps


To do something well you have to like it. That idea is not exactly novel. We've got it down to four words: "Do what you love." But it's not enough just to tell people that. Doing what you love is complicated.

The very idea is foreign to what most of us learn as kids. When I was a kid, it seemed as if work and fun were opposites by definition. Life had two states: some of the time adults were making you do things, and that was called work; the rest of the time you could do what you wanted, and that was called playing. Occasionally the things adults made you do were fun, just as, occasionally, playing wasn't-- for example, if you fell and hurt yourself. But except for these few anomalous cases, work was pretty much defined as not-fun.

And it did not seem to be an accident. School, it was implied, was tedious because it was preparation for grownup work.

The world then was divided into two groups, grownups and kids. Grownups, like some kind of cursed race, had to work. Kids didn't, but they did have to go to school, which was a dilute version of work meant to prepare us for the real thing. Much as we disliked school, the grownups all agreed that grownup work was worse, and that we had it easy.

Teachers in particular all seemed to believe implicitly that work was not fun. Which is not surprising: work wasn't fun for most of them. Why did we have to memorize state capitals instead of playing dodgeball? For the same reason they had to watch over a bunch of kids instead of lying on a beach. You couldn't just do what you wanted.

I'm not saying we should let little kids do whatever they want. They may have to be made to work on certain things. But if we make kids work on dull stuff, it might be wise to tell them that tediousness is not the defining quality of work, and indeed that the reason they have to work on dull stuff now is so they can work on more interesting stuff later. [1]

Once, when I was about 9 or 10, my father told me I could be whatever I wanted when I grew up, so long as I enjoyed it. I remember that precisely because it seemed so anomalous. It was like being told to use dry water. Whatever I thought he meant, I didn't think he meant work could literally be fun-- fun like playing. It took me years to grasp that.

Answer 6

Give it a last try, find him in person, talk and tell him everything you are feeling and what would you like him to do. If nothing good come up go and have a good week end in contact with mother nature.

Answer 7

It's hard for women to let go because they think that being in a relationship means you don't have the right to think for yourself or in your own best interests.

It's like this: "I love you baby, but if you think I'm a chump, then I'll have to let you go!"

Better to break your own heart and that of your girl than to live like a chump. Right? Oh yeah, this goes for guys who are chumps as well. I know. It's just one of those things. Like when a girl expects us to say "no baby you don't look fat in that... comere gimme some sugar..."

Answer 8

If your pride and passion does not hurts you than contact him back-it's not a weakness,but it will prove that you are really truly loving him.Even if he don't respond your messages,than forget him and continue with your another search.As Woman and Man cannot forget their First Love-First affairs and so on.But some time you will have to make compromise with your own mind.

Answer 9

This is a hard one.
I wouldn't contact hiim first though.... Maybe this breakup is for good.
Maybe if he see's you moving on he will come running back to you........
I dunno Hon! But best of luck to you!
And I'm sorry
If you want to talk or you need someone to listen to you, you can always im me......
♥

Answer 10

give it time, I know that sounds simplistic but it's amazing how answers can come to you after a few days that you totally didn't have previously.