Should I be a father?

Question

I'm not in a position to become one just yet. I just wondered if I should put it in my life plan.

I never really wanted kids.
I work stupid hours.
My career is really important to me.
Is becoming a father really worth giving it all up?
How much do you actually have to give up?

Answer 1

Eventually you may realize that other things in life are moe important than your career. YOur outlook may change, and luckily for you there are no upper age restrictions on becoming a father.

Answer 2

Being a parent myself - I'm bound to say yes! I think you can get to a stage in your life, that if you havent found that special person - you can become selfish, and why not. If you don;t want kids, why do what everyone expects you to do?

To be fair, I think that it's the mother that has to give up alot more - carrying the child, she is the one that has to put her career on hold - you are the one to provide, so if you have a good career and can provide financially, then cut down your hours a little and you can have the best of both worlds - you may be glad that you are at work for the peace and quiet!!! Only joking - becoming a parent is hard work but its definately worth it!!!!

Answer 3

I work stupid hours too.
My job is really important to me, too. (I wouldn't really consider forklift driving a career)

I think the question you need to ask is, are you any good with kids? Remember, there's another person to consider here... the kid. Becoming a father isn't like buying a toaster, you can't just decide to take it back or sell it and take a loss on the whole deal. If becoming a father doesn't work out, everybody loses.

If you're good with kids, by all means, become a father. It's the best experience you'll ever have. And it's life-changing, believe me. But your career doesn't have to suffer if you have someone competent to watch your child, preferably family, like a wife.

All I do is drive a forklift, yet I rarely take time off work for my child. I maximize the time we spend together when I'm not working.

Answer 4

being a parent changes your life in every way. if you have a hectic life style and you feel as though you cannot change it, then no you shouldn't become a father just yet. having children is not for everyone. if having a child is not what you want right now then you should make sure that you take the right precautions to insure you don't have one. even if you don't put it in your "life plan" it could happen. having a child is the best gift in the world and if you're asking yourself if your life style is "really worth" giving it all up than you don't get what parenthood is all about. it's not all about giving things up, it's about growing and sharing in ways you never imagined. i don't know how old you are, but it sounds as if you still want to enjoy a no strings attached life...... and it's not wrong to feel that way. Go ahead and live your life to the fullest and if the day comes that you want to be a father than set out for that path.... good luck in your future.

Answer 5

I think you should wait until you meet miss right and you are in a position to have kids before you think about it

Because at that time it will all fall into place. You won't care about losing out in your career or giving stuff up.

We're expecting our first baby right now (I'm 33 weeks pregnant). I'm 34 and my BF is 24. He is a barman so he works the worst hours you could imagine (nights, evenings). I was training to be a dance teacher before I got pregnant and I've had to put that on the back burner, even though it was my biggest dream. I also had to give up work early on in my pregnancy because I was so ill and it has meant we are really struggling to survive on reduced income.

But you know what - it doesn't matter. We love our baby - a little boy we know - so much and we can't wait for him to be here.

We'll find a way to cope with my partner's stupid hours. I will go back to work and dance traning as soon as I can - childcare permitting (as my partner works nights etc it means he will be around to care for the baby during the day). Our financial situation will improve.

You have to give up stupid things like getting drunk, sleeping around and buying loads of designer crap. But surely that doesn't matter when you have a little baby of your own to have and hold? You can still have a career and work for your dreams, you just have to maybe be a bit more organised to make sure you can balance work and homelife and have adequate childcare when you need it.

I know many successful people who have kids.

Answer 6

kids change your life for the best reasons if you don`t change your ways now you never will. a career is very important when raising a family has you need to keep food on the table, but if you don`t feel ready enough to become a father then explain your reasons and explain it isn`t because you don`t love your partner it is because you don`t feel as though you are ready to become a father and take on the responsibility`s it holds you are only being honest and honesty is the best policy good luck mate hope you make the right choice. becoming a father is well worth any thing i wouldn`t change it for the world i love both my kids enjoy being a father. good luck

Answer 7

can i just say that being a father doesn't mean you have to give everything up, you can still work - yes...even stupid hours, my husband never wanted kids, they never interested him, and he became a father 15 months ago. he is 44, he runs his own buisness so works silly hours ansd things seem to be ok with us at the moment.
When you feel ready to become a father you will know, but please don't think you have to give everything up, you don't, we made a understanding that i would do all the day to day looking after the baby, like nappies, feeding etc, he provides for her, also as im with her all the time, and she only sees her daddy for a hour in the morning and then for a few hours at night, shes a right daddy's girl, you work your life around a child, as long as the mother is willing to look after the child while you work, things won't change too much

Answer 8

Um well its all acording if you have a lady at the moment and she wants kids?? If you just are thinking about the idea i mean you can at any time right your a man. I mean you can have a career as well as having kids not so many hours maybe but still have one. I have a 4 month old and i work part time so im not totally giving everything up. Dont just have them cos you feel you have to

Answer 9

Being a parent is a *huge* job. Your life gets completely re-routed. All of a sudden everything centers around your child. Although that may seem horrible to you, it is the most rewarding thing you can do in your life. I became pregnant at the age of 20. Talk about not wanting to give things up, like youth, freedom, bad (yet fun) habits, etc. For me giving up whatever I had to, was 100% worth it. There is no love like the love for one's child. That being said, there are people who should not be parents. There is a "switch" that goes off in a person's head when he/she becomes a parent. This switch changes the focus of your life. Some people's switch is broken. Only you can determine that.

Answer 10

You don't really need to plan for that, hopefully it will just come along when it's meant to. Even if you are totally career-minded (like my partner) you will find that having children enriches your life in a way that you never thought possible. You'll just fit it in with everything else. You seem like an intelligent guy, with a good personality-shame not to pass it on! Oh, and don't worry about what you may have to give up-it's worth it.

Answer 11

No, don't become a father now. It sounds like you really don't want to deal with kids, and you have to sacrifice a TON. It would be better if you wait until you want to take care of children, and actually can. Don't make your life, the mom's life, and the kids' life something that you regret doing.