2006-10-22 04:41:59 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
one of the funniest is Becca's one.....i lmao!!
2006-10-22 05:29:18 · answer #1 · answered by A J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. The first step of the trial was to go into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."
The king then explains the trial to him-you have to shove the fruits up your *** without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten.
The first apple went in...but on the second one he winced in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.
The second guy arrives with ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...but on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter, therefore also was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"
The second one replied, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
2006-10-22 12:17:11 · answer #2 · answered by xoxobeccaxoxo333 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ITS NOT THE FUNNEST BUT ITS THE FUNNIEST..!
>The little sexy housewife was built so well that the TV repairman couldn`t keep his eyes off of her. Every time she came in the room, he`d near about jerk his neck right out of joint looking at her.
When he`d finished she paid him and said, "I`m going to make a . . .well . . . unusual request. But you have to first promise me you`ll keep it a secret."
The repairman quickly agreed and she went on. "Well, it`s kind of embarrassing to talk about, but while my husband is a kind, decent man-- sigh -- he has a certain physical weakness. A certain disability. Now, I`m a woman and you`re a man . . . "
The repairman could hardly speak, "Yes; yes!"
"And since I`ve been wanting to ever since you came in the door..."
"Yes; yes!"
"Would you help me move the refrigerator?"
2006-10-22 12:58:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the funniest joke is the funniest joke ever!
2006-10-22 11:44:13 · answer #4 · answered by sammy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theere is a migit he lives on the 20th floor when he comes back from the 1st floor he goes to the 15th floor and walks the 5 steps up why?
2006-10-22 12:07:30 · answer #5 · answered by diliooooo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q. What do you say to 50cent (fiddy cent) after he made his grandma a sweater?
A. G-U-Nit?
Ok that was super lame but I do not want to pull out some of my other good ones b/c they are racially motivated and people don't know how to take a joke.
2006-10-22 11:44:41 · answer #6 · answered by EmTay21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the funniest thing I have ever read, no contest. Bare with me it is a copy and paste from my email. It is lengthy but worth it.
BLACK ROBBERS - True Story
By far the best email I've read so far....For anyone who didn't see David Letterman's take on this :( And it's a true story...)
On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room.
"I'll be right back and we'll go to eat, "she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator. As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was tall...very tall...and intimidating figure. The woman froze.
Her first thought was: These two are going to rob me.
Her next thought was: Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly
nice gentlemen. But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear immobilized
her. She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind but Gosh, they had to know what she was thinking!!! Her hesitation about joining them in the elevator was all too obvious now. Her face was flushed. She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward
and followed with the other foot and was on the elevator.
Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the
elevator doors as they closed. A second passed, and the another second, and then another. Her fear increased! The elevator didn't move. Panic consumedher.
My God, she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore.
Then one of the men said, "Hit the floor." Instinct told her to do what they told her. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her.
Take my money and spare me, she prayed. More seconds passed.
She heard one of the men say politely, "Ma'am, if you'll just tell
us what floor you're going to, we'll push the button." The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men.
They reached down to help her up.
Confused, she struggled to her feet. "When I told my friend here to hit the floor," said the average sized one, "I meant that he should hit the elevator
button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am." He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing.
The woman thought: My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself. She was humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed her. How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob you? She didn't know what to say. The three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket.
When the elevator arrived at her floor they then insisted on walking her to
her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator.
The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband. The next morning flowers were delivered to her room - a dozen roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred dollar bill. The card said:"Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years."
It was signed;
Eddie Murphy
Michael Jordan
P. S. - Pass this around so others can enjoy!!!!
2006-10-22 11:49:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
A mushroom walks into a bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says sorry we don`t serve mushrooms.
the mushroom replies why not are`nt I a fungi
2006-10-22 11:48:07 · answer #8 · answered by gussie r 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some joke this guy told me.
2006-10-22 11:43:08 · answer #9 · answered by Drake ☮ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st Guy: I just bought a dog with no nose.
2nd Guy: How does he smell?
1st Guy: Terrible!
2006-10-22 22:44:23 · answer #10 · answered by scourgeoftheleft 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋