Do people really think that helps the heartbroken mother?
2006-10-22 04:22:39 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
becasue they're stupid. losing a child is never for the best. saying that is like goign to a funeral and telling the widow, "how are you planning to spend the insurance money?" its rude and insensitive. if i were you, and someone told me that, i'd respond, "well, now, let me go kill your child and then you can tell me how its improved your life." and walk away. people assume because your baby wasnt' born when it died, it didn't mean as much to you as one who was born alive would. my advice is to stop speaking to anyone who says that to you and find yourself some friends with a brain cell or two.
also, if theis has happened to you, i am sooooo sorry.
2006-10-22 04:28:25 · answer #1 · answered by kajunprincezz 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Some people say this just to be nice and were brought up told it is polite to say that. I look at saying it from a different point of view. Look how bad our society has become. I have three kids but I really do not want them to have to go through the hardships of life with all the suffering. I will say this there is no easy way to help a mother who just lost a child to stillbirth or miscarriage. Why stillbirths happen I do not have the slightest clue. A positive out look on a miscarriage is your immune system is working properly. God was ready for the child to come home although you might not have been ready for the child to leave from you. What if you would have had this child and they were to become a rapist, murderer or drug addict? What if they would have had a severe deformity or needed thousands of thousands of dollars of medical help all the time? It tells you in the bible that Jesus loves all children and it also says you will know your child when you get to heaven. Even children who were stillborn or a miscarriage.
2006-10-22 04:42:11 · answer #2 · answered by James T 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think I am still in shock over my miscarriage. It was only 8 weeks ago yesterday and I was 9 weeks along. It was horrible to think everything was fine only to go in for an ultrasound and find out the baby has no heartbeat. I think about how far along I would be now and that I would be showing. Plus we wanted a son so badly. I just hang on to the hope that I can conceive again and we'll get our little boy. I feel guilty sometimes for not crying, but I have been through so much I get numb when bad things happen. Like I have no more tears anymore. I have put on 10 pounds in the last 8 weeks from depression. Its very hard, but everything heals with time Ive heard.
2016-05-21 22:21:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most cases a miscarriage is the result of a fatal developmental problem in the baby. Most people aren't prepared to care for a child that would require a lifetime of constant care if such a child did survive.
No, this won't comfort a heartbroken mother. Any objectivity on such a matter does come off as uncaring.
2006-10-22 04:33:28 · answer #4 · answered by dr_imzadi 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
many people have no idea what to say in the case of a death. unfortunately many people also don't understand that losing a baby no matter how early is a death for the mother. they sadly do not understand what the woman is going through and are trying to say something to make her feel better and well end up sticking their foot in their mouth saying "its for the best" which in turn makes many women feel like what was there something wrong with me as a parent? lots of people who have never lost a baby think well it was only a fetus or what ever no big deal you can have another one... people don't understand and really need to learn that its not about having another one its about losing that one. if some one says this maybe try saying to them the best for who? and also tell them you are grieving the lose of your child. some times people want to say more than I'm sorry for your lose and end up going to far... stick with simple people... I'm sorry to hear about your lose if you need anything let us know, is probably the only thing to say. also lots of people that are not close and/or involved much in the woman's life seem to poke in with other comments or curiosities when the woman would much rather be left alone. but yes i do think they really say that tring to make the woman feel better.
2006-10-22 04:38:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How would you console a mother who has just lost her child ??
Would you say OK thats fine, dont worry, its good for you ?
The destiny of every human being is already written. Perhaps it is one chapter which is closed.
Who knows what is in store for the mother in the next chapter ?
Thats why hoping for the best optimistically, will console a mother hence it is said " Its for the best " since it was worst for her and any thing which will happen to her will be better than this untimely demise.
2006-10-22 04:36:31 · answer #6 · answered by ♪¢αpη' ε∂ïß♪ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FYI they are not thinking about you, they are just grasping to say something because they are uncomfortable. I don;t think there is any perfect answer...
If someone tells me they have miscarried I just say I am there to listen. If I am really close to them I send them flowers on what was to be their due date.
For still birth or early death I ask them the baby's name, weight etc. Recognize the baby as their child and again offer an ear or shoulder. I never ask, "What happened?" I leave it to them to say what they want. And again, if I am really close I write a kind letter or donate to a children's charity for the child's first birthday.
They are not trying to be mean. I find older generations, where losing at least one child seemed to be the norm, they are less kind.
2006-10-22 05:42:39 · answer #7 · answered by muggin_girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I honestly cannot imagine the pain that person must be going through, and I personally would not know what to say. So I guess that's why people say that; I dont' think there are any words in the universe that would soothe a hurting parent during such a time.
2006-10-22 05:14:51 · answer #8 · answered by *Jessy* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they say that because they are nervous and dont know what else to say. I think they are thinking how most miscarriages are because there is a malformation with the baby. My friend just had a miscarriage at 6 weeks, and I told her that I was sorry for her loss.
2006-10-22 04:28:06 · answer #9 · answered by Melissa 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
they say that because they dont no what else to say when you lose a child that was part of you from a miscarriage or a stillbirth!!! :)
2006-10-22 04:41:29 · answer #10 · answered by shorty_2_us 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who on earth would say its for the best? How could it ever in a million years be for the best?
If someone ever told you that you should just write them off as insensitive and not human.
Thats wrong on so many levels. The death of a child is never for the best.
2006-10-22 04:36:06 · answer #11 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋