I gave birth to my second son four months ago.Lately my first son who is 2 years old have been acting up lately.I try my best to give my first son the attention that he needs.Most of the time my baby is sleeping giving me more time to play with my first son.I even play little games with the both of them.But lately he has been throwing tantrums and being very rude with me.How can i make him feel like he is not being left out ?
2006-10-22 03:54:58 · 14 answers · asked by LaToya T 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Having tantrums is normal for that age. It is a very emotional time for them . They get frustrated and angry if things do not go their way. And yes, their feelings get very hurt if a new person comes into the picture. Your son is still learning so many things, and sharing is one of them. Try to do special things with him, take him to the park, without his brother. Bake with him, let him know in no way is his brother taking away any love you have for him. Tell him his brother is lucky to have him as a big brother. Put the emphasis on him being special. It's a tough age at 2..so many emotions running thru them, and they do not have the ability to express it yet.. Don't get frustrated or angry..it's all part of the learning process to growing. But show him support and listen to him when he expresses himself. But most of all...enjoy the treasure you have with 2 lil boys.
2006-10-22 04:04:54 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with my kids. They seemed to start acting up more when somebody came over to see the new baby. You 2 year will need to learn that he has a brother that needs love and attention too, but that you still love him just the same and don't love the baby any more than you love him. He'll eventually get used to the idea of his new brother, and will love him. Whenever somebody I know has a new baby that already has kids, I always take the older kids a little present (like a book about being a new brother/sister, or a dollar store toy) and give them just as much attention as the new baby. Even though he's only 2, try to find things he can do that will help him feel important as a big brother. Let him pick out the baby's clothes for the day, or what blankie to use. Keep spending quality time with him while the baby is napping. He is just trying to get your attention when you are giving the baby attention. Be patient, he'll stop with the tantrums eventually. Most importantly, you will lose your mind if you don't take a break for yourself!
Good luck, and congrats on the new baby!
2006-10-22 06:18:07 · answer #2 · answered by Jamie B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Specialists often say you should wait til your first child is 2years before getting pregant again.. so the first kid would be almost 3 by the time you have the second.. its obviously too late for that but at least you know now why they say that, and can pass the advice on to others....
yes he feels left out but more importantly he feels you love the baby more and so he is reverting to more childlike behavior to get your attention - you MUST ignore the tantrums, walk way... do NOT tollerate the rudeness.. DO NOT give in to ANY display of anger...
sometimes find ways to put him first and the baby second.. generally what happens is you are busy with the older kid.. then baby starts crying.. and the older kid gets dumped becuase "the baby needs me" and so the older kid thinks "hmm and apparently I dont matter..."
2006-10-22 04:13:17 · answer #3 · answered by CF_ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might just be running into the time in your older sons life of the terrible two's which is always fun lol. Unfortunately it's going to sucks for you having a little one it might be stressful, and mixing the two of the terrible two's and a new baby it might take a while. I would just make sure you have a time of day you make time for just him when you can.Let him help out with the baby during the day get things for you like the diaper bag or holding the bottle or baby or both. Let him get big brother time to. Then let him know as long as he behaves he can hold the baby.
2006-10-22 06:08:31 · answer #4 · answered by viper_chick2ridewit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a toddler teacher and a mother and I can tell you that if your child is 2 years old or even 3 years old, it could be just a phase that they are going through that will eventually break. Your child might be looking for all your attention when it's hard for you to give. My advise would be, since your one child is getting older to get him/ her involved in a play group or other activities involving other children, so that while your tending to your newborn your first child won't be alone at the time and will make more friends and have someone to play with. At that age, children are still trying new things and are testing you to see how you will react, have lots of patience and love no matter what:)
2006-10-22 04:10:23 · answer #5 · answered by taf3781 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good question.....First dont give in to the negative behavior, if your oldest throws a fit and you reward him by giving him play time he will learn that bad behavior gives him what he wants. Two years old is not too young for time outs. I think its 1 min for every year old that they are. He will get used to having to share mom. How ever you can try to help him feel more involved by teaching him that big brothers are the best. Like when you are feeding the baby tell the lil man something like see your brother drinking his bottle? Well Your the big brother and when he gets older will get to help teach him to drink from a glass like big boys do. Or maybe he can pick a book out and read it to you and the baby like big boys do. Or help you in other ways like preparing supper. He could cut up some cheese for a salad, cheese cuts easily with a plastic knife. Basically anything to help him feel he is a big boy and he is needed alot. Good Luck Mama.
2006-10-22 04:05:52 · answer #6 · answered by lothlorien30 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you sure the baby is the cause of this and not terrible two's? you need to sit him down and tell him mommy is not going to have the temper tantrums anymore. then when he does throw them, regardless of the cause, send him to his room and make him stay there until he is ready to be a big boy again. (this will probably include some picking him up and bringing him back in there quite a few times and will definitely include some screaming and hollering from your son.) when he does calm down, you tell him that he is a big boy and big boys use words. also, let him help with the baby, with holding the bottle or getting diapers when the baby needs a change. tell him how the baby is his too and encourage him to play iwht the baby, make him laugh, hold his hand, etc. (just dont' forget and leave them in teh room along together.) that should help with the being left out part. and it should help thier relationship in the future. and be sure to tell him things like "you were such a good baby that we decided we wanted another baby for you to play with." good luck.
2006-10-22 04:00:50 · answer #7 · answered by kajunprincezz 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's not being left out, he's learning how to share mom, and not having a very good run at it.
You need to deal with the tantrums and not with the guilt you have over the situation. Throwing a fit is still not acceptable. He gets enough attention, and he can still communicate with you when he needs something. But throwing a fit because he cannot have your complete attention is not acceptable.
If you start trying to some how make up for having a second son to him, he will learn to dislike his brother and see him as competition.
The tantrums are from not wanting to share and not getting his way. Its not different if he were throwing them and you only had one child. You still deal with it the same. he's learning how to share mom instead of his toys or whatever else.
He's old enough to start reasoning with too. he needs to understand that mom cannot do anything right now, because she has to care for his baby brother. and that he can help if he wants, or go play with such and such until she's finished.
Being a brother means loving your brother and wanting to share with him. Including sharing mom. You have to teach him that.
Dont worry about him feeling left out. Its not the issue. Its the guilt you have that you're projecting into his reaction.
2006-10-22 04:00:42 · answer #8 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Put him in charge of the baby, while still watching him closely! Try to make it fun for him to have a brother! Let him feed the baby(unless of course you're nursing)let him pick the outfits for the day etc. Right now, he must feel like the odd man out. Help him understand that in a few years, he and his brother will be able to do many fun things together, and you need his help to teach baby how to walk and talk etc. to speed up the process!
2006-10-22 04:02:58 · answer #9 · answered by rebecca_sld 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are on the right track. Maybe reward for being good with scheduled Mommy, Son time. Do you have someone that can watch the baby for a couple of hours?
2006-10-22 04:00:11 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋