SOCIAL SECURITY SEX
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"

QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"

CONFOUNDED SEX
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

WOMEN'S HUMOR
Nora's husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, she squirted it all over the doorknobs and he couldn't get back in.

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says..... "I'll miss you."
2006-10-22 03:32:10 · 17 answers · asked by Rick Harley 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
NICE MAN!!!!
OH MY GOSH!!
EEEEEEEEE!!!
ITS LIKE DEE BESTEST ONE EVA!!!!
I SIMPLY LOVED IT ......totally rocking and supreme AWESOME!!!!
Send us more jokes like these, plz. ANYWAYS IM GIVING IT A 10/10.
CUZ IT MADE ME FALL TO THE GROUND LAUGHING !!!
2006-10-22 03:40:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are funny!! Got to Love sex jokes LOL
2006-10-22 04:37:24 · answer #2 · answered by T K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woman at ice-creamery: Can i please have a massive chocolate & vanilla flacoured Sundae, with further sprinkles and scorching fudge masking the perimeters? Bartender: Would you prefer a cherry on most sensible? Woman: No thank you, i am on a vitamin.
2016-09-01 00:49:16 · answer #3 · answered by rentschler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They were really funny
2006-10-22 05:02:15 · answer #4 · answered by Mags 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my best one was the wedding annivarsary joke...haha
2006-10-22 03:43:05 · answer #5 · answered by cookie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very funny
2006-10-22 03:40:20 · answer #6 · answered by Tom B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are really cute
2006-10-22 03:38:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he he classic jokes - old is gold LOL
2006-10-22 04:00:13 · answer #8 · answered by Pd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!!
luv them!!! they r HILARIOUS!!!
keep the jokes comin! :)
2006-10-22 05:00:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ewwwwwwwwwww
2006-10-22 03:35:13 · answer #10 · answered by Sergio 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋