I just got married last month and this is a big problem. My husband wants us to combine all our bank accounts. Right now its set -up as "his" "mine" "ours". I have my own savings and he does too and we just put money into our combined account every month for household bills.This worked great when we were engaged but my husband said he has never heard of married couples doing this and wants all our money put into joint accounts.Heres the problem that i have with it, he was married before and has a child that he spends tons of money on to the point he can't pay his c.c bills.I don't mean to sound like a evil stepmom but if he wants to go into debt so jr. can have everything he wants let him do it with his own money. I just need to know what you guys think. I'm just afraid if we pool our money he will see it as free money to spend as he wants.So do any married couples out there have a bank account in just their name?
2006-10-22 03:26:44 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have been ,married for 18 years. We have separate accounts. She pays the mortgage and car, I pay the utilities, credit cards, daycare etc. We share our money but each person has their own responsibilities.
2006-10-22 03:29:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother always told me Don't get a joint bank account and I am a mother of a child separate to my husband and the children we have together and from my point of view DON'T DO IT! This child is his responsibility not yours and although you want a friendship with the child it will always have a mother somewhere else. My child has a father who disappeared so my situation is different but we only got a joint bank account recently for our home loan payment to come out of. On top of that I pay all the bills and do the shopping so I am the only one who can access the account anyway. Just don't. Love is important but he will love you anyway even if you say no to this.
2006-10-22 03:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by Abs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he collects BAH the Army will make him live off base and pay rent. This will eat up the actual BAH money that he gets. They will kick him out of the dormitory and he must reside off base, unless he claims partial BAH which means that YOU are paying your own rent in the states, and he stays in the dorm. If that is the scenario (I haven't seen it done in a while, but I assume you can still do partial BAH) then he will get paid like 60% of BAH. BUT, then in reality you are paying your own rent and he is just pocketing that partial BAH. So if he is paying your rent in the states anyway, you are not making any money. Or he can get the cheapest apartment possible, or get a place with roommates, and try to pocket as much BAH as possible. If he gets an apartment by himself, a cheap place, the most he will come ahead is probably $300 a month. NWIP is correct and I forgot about this for a minute. If he gets out in 6 months and is overseas, you are not authorized to be with him anyway because you are not Command Sponsored. In order for you to be with him and be Command Sponsored he would have to extend his enlistment, and stay where he is for one more year. This covers for the cost of a dependent moving overseas. So, long story short--you moving there is not even an option. And I wonder, do you have an ID card, and are you in the DEERS system already? Are you getting medical care on base? If you are you are in the DEERS system. Edited: 3. Alaska is considered overseas when it comes to duty assignments. Just an FYI. 4. He can move off base with a roommate. Technically it is legal to have a roommate but legally he is supposed to be supporting his dependents with the money. Just so you know. He can get busted for this if someone finds out, for instance he rents a place and the roommate gets arrested, the cops file a report, and they tell his commander about what happened. They will ask "where was his wife?" OH Sir, um, his wife doesn't live with him. You get what I am saying. It is a shady deal and not really legal. Ok good luck with what ever happens. I would have made stay in the service so that he had a job, but your choice.
2016-05-21 22:16:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like you jennyo1o.
I have an account,my wife has an account and we have a joint account. Many reasons but some are: So that both people have a feeling of independence / so that you learn to live on one wage. If you or your husband fall sick, or you fall pregnant, you will not suddenly have a financial problem, because you will already have worked out a budget based on one wage.
2006-10-22 03:36:06 · answer #4 · answered by mark2zephyr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been married for 10 years and we've always had our money together since the beginning. I'm in charge of paying the monthly bills and creating the budget. He's in charge of investing our money in retirement accounts, stocks, etc.. Trust is absolutely key, so I don't blame you for not wanting to jeapordize your financial stability. Maybe you could look into a retirement account, money market account, credit union or something where a portion of your money would come out of your pay check automatically and he would never miss it. And if he finds out about it, you could just let him know that it's your nest egg for retirement or something.
2006-10-22 03:57:34 · answer #5 · answered by Butterfly Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, we do. But we don't have small children or child support problems. We also have a rule: anything over $100, we have to discuss with each other. It works for us. But I think if I were in your shoes, I'd keep the system as it is. OR...you can always set up an account he doesn't know about...I did that in a previous marriage because I didn't want my ex to wipe out every penny we had on his "pet" projects. Godloveya.
2006-10-22 03:31:11 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a good point. There is nothing wrong with having the 'mine, yours, and ours' account as long as there is no secretive money stashing involved. I have been married for 22 years now, and we have one account to pay the bills (my income), and my wife has another account for her income. Her account is more of a savings account, and pot of money for birthday, holiday and extra expenses.
Let your hubby know that you feel the need to see your own money grow, and that it is for the benefit of the family. Gently point out his money problems, and remind him that your account will be a great way to have extra cash available should something unexpected come up. Good Luck!!
2006-10-22 03:33:19 · answer #7 · answered by SFC B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not married but with my partner and we have joint bank accounts even though he earns way more than me but we have a child on the way so dosent really matter.however my mum and her husband do what u are currently doing and that works great for them.I can tottally understand where u are cuming from
2006-10-22 03:30:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not young kids starting out, so I think your observation its pretty right on target.
I have always told my daughters to be sensible about their future, there is nothing to say that he wouldn't drop dead (my father did), and mixed money could cause problems in the future. I think you need to think about yourself in this, and keep your savings and your accounts. If your husband doesn't like it, then he should have said something before you got married and not assumed anything. Don't succumb to his pressure to leave yourself out in the cold. Unless he married you for your money. You might want to ask him about that, and don't fall for that you don't trust me stuff, trust has to be earned.
2006-10-22 03:35:10 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have my own and will continue to have my own. We also have a joint account for paying bills but i have a personal savings and checking account and so does my hubby. If i were you i wouldnt change anything
2006-10-22 03:30:33 · answer #10 · answered by classy&sassy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋