I would like tips on how to manage my 7 year old daughters attitude problem?

Answer 1

change your attitude towards her and around her, if she see's you moody, demanding and shouting, she'll do exactly the same back, ignore her when shes got a gob on an praise her when shes in a good mood and doing things you ask her to do, kids will prefer the praise rather than the ignorance!

Answer 2

First of all try and source the problem. My 7 year old son was experiencing problems at school and it was as if he had a complete personality change overnight! He became moody, irritable, destructive and disruptive. In the end we had to move him out of that school and away from the TEACHER that was causing the problems.

Is your child being bullied? Many children that are, start acting differently at home as they don't know how to handle the situation.

How do you behave at home? I don't mean to sound patronising, but you would be surprised at how quickly children pick up on all of our traits - good AND bad, if you are prone to losing your temper or shouting, then they will lead by your example.

There may be no other reason for you child's behaviour than that they have reached an age where they start to push the boundaries again - my son is very fond of seeing if what he wasn't allowed to do yesterday is still applicable today!

What is your child's diet like? Does she eat processed foods that are high in sugar, fat, preservatives and additives? All of these can turn your child into the Tazmanian Devil! How much exercise does she get? Children of this age are whirlwinds of energy and if they don't exercise it away then they will use it in other ways that are not appropriate.

I don't agree with smacking, not because I'm a PC fanatic but merely because if you were to punish your child for being violent towards someone for instance, how is smacking them going to teach them not to lash out? I aslo don't buy into the idea that by removing her things it will make her better - I tried this with my son and it made him worse.

And finally, try a sticker chart. This really worked for my son, when other things had failed. We devised ways where he could earn stickers, making his bed, tidying his room, being helpful or kind and if he received 20+ stickers per week, he was given a treat such as a trip to the cinema, bowling, swimming etc. He worked really hard because he knew that if he didn't get enough stickers he couldn't go and was determined not to do anything that would mean that he lost any stickers throughout the week.

Good luck, things could be worse, you could have a child that is 13 in a few months (Lord have mercy on my soul!) xx

Answer 3

It's difficult to offer advice without knowing more details.
I have 2 girls aged 5 and 10, and a boy of 12.
They are all really good kids. Obviously we have arguments and at times defiance from them, but I know they are only kids and I know they have lots still to learn.
I don't believe in smacking them ever. I ask them to refrain from violence so it makes sense that I don't use violence.

I believe at 7 years old your daughter will understand if you talk to her about why you don't think her behaviour is appropriate or acceptable. Help her by sharing alternative ways she can show her frustration to you. By telling her your reasons for disliking her behaviour, she is learning, by watching you that talking helps others understand.
I have found that sometimes both me and the child who is behaving inappropriately, are too angry to talk and we just end up shouting. No-one gets their point across and we are both upset. If this is the case I send my child to their room, and explain that we will talk when we are both more calm. Often they will call me when they are ready to talk. It's really important to let them talk while I listen, aswell as the other way round. Honestly, it really helps. Sometimes there can be other issues for the child and by showing that you're prepared to listen to their side they may open up to you.
If any of my children persistantly do a particular thing which they know is wrong, I will confiscate something they like. For example I have removed my daughters TV because she refuses to tidy her room. (it's shocking!!!!) I also ban TV totally, playstation. PC.
By removing something they like I find it encourages them to change their behaviour.
Don't forget that children watch and learn. If someone else is showing you disrespect, your daughter will think it's acceptable. If she goes to a relatives or friends house and witness' such behaviour, the same applies.
Have a look at these sites. I'm sure there will be many other strategies you can try.

http://www.handlingchildrensbehaviour.com/

http://good-child-guide.com/index0b.html

Don't feel bad, you're not alone. Being a parent is the hardest job there is..........but it can also be the most rewarding.
Good Luck.xxxx

Answer 4

Always make the punishment fit the crime. For example, if the child slams their bedroom door when they are angry, tell them that the punishment will be a loss of their privacy & promptly remove the door from it's hinges & place it in the garage or storage area where they cannot get to it. After all, it is your house & that door is expensive to replace or repair, so the child needs to learn WHY it is not acceptable to slam doors because they have a specific purpose & use in a persons life. All children have "attitudes" to some degree. It is usually the parent who forgets what it is like to be a child & needs to be placed in a setting of rememberence in order to act appropriately & avoid making costly mistakes that could set the parent-child relationship on the road to bigger attitude problems. Teach them to think rather than to re-act by not over re-acting to their "attitudes"! An old fashioned time-out in the corner works wonders on changing a persons attitude, no matter what their age is!

Answer 5

You don't manage it! The reality is just don't tolerate it!

First thing, parent by example. Second, make sure she understands that attitude is not tolerated and the consequences for it. Still to your guns.

I dealt with this exact same thing. With one it took a few sessions on a time-out chair and a few groundings to her room. The other, unfortunately, it took a trip across my lap.

Find what works, but find it now. It is easier to deal with a 7 year old with an attitude problem than a 15 year old with the same.

Answer 6

I'm having some issues myself with my 4 and a half yr old!
Overnight, she seems to have changed completely! she has always been so well behaved, polite and generally just nice, we had no terrible two's, but boy is she making up for that now!!

Maybe she is having trouble at school and you are her escape option, taking out all her feelings on you?
Maybe she is friends with someone who is a bad influence on her? (this is one of my probs with mine)

7's a bit old for a naughty step to be introduced! but you could do something along the lines of that by barring her from watching tv or surfing the net for half an hour each time she gives you lip.
I believe in giving them the option to behave first though, in a calm and controlled manner of course!

Hard but try not to rise to her bait, walk away and stay calm, don't add fuel to the fire, easier said than done i know!!

Maybe you could introduce a thought box? so that if she feels frustrated or angry with something she can write it down... Once a week you could read the thoughts and go from there.

I hope some of these are helpful, sometimes when i'm feeling sad about my childs behaviour, i remind myself that we're both learning from each other each day on how to be a Mother/Daughter and as long as you continue to love and support her then i'm sure this phase will blow over.

Good luck, i know i need it!

Answer 7

You don't say what her "attitude" is but I suspect she rules the roost and that is often because parents take the easy option and give in rather than set boundaries of behaviour. knowit may be an old fashioned approach but children actually need to know where the boundaries are in terms of their behaviour. Otfen children with "attutude" problems can improve once boundaries are ...........not just set, but adhered to. If you say "no" mean it, for example. You could try the 1,2,3 ................You tell her that you will count to 3 and if she hasn't stopped the "attitude" by the time you reach 3 she will ............you choose, not TV for a day, or some such...........but for it to be effective you have to carry the "punishment" through. Make sure to make it a reasonable slow count to allow her time to think about it..

Answer 8

Start from scratch that is what I had to do.Take away everything an I mean everything including tv time make her earn it back with good behaviour .Just to let you know that was my last resort but it worked my son is now the child and I am in control again.Make sure you stick to your guns and follow through or you will make things more difficult.Go an start bagging things and store it until she can prove she deserves toys,tv,arts,etc.... good luck I hope this helps oh ya it gets worse before it gets better.oh ya writing lines is another way but you have to give a lot start at 100 an ad 10 for every rude comment and reward charts bye for now and good luck again .

Answer 9

you didn't say what kind of attitude problem.

so...
let her know she will behave respectfully or she will pay the consequences. be consistant. if she talks back or mouths off to you, tell her in no uncertain terms that if it happens again, you're going to...ground her, take away her tv, whatever...and then do it. she should have to apologize and she should have to ride out the punishment to get the item back. if she doesn't, the next time, take something else away. if all else fails, try doing a walk a mile in my shoes thing. make her take a saturday and let her do all the things you do around the house. laundry, cook, dishes, etc. it sounds mean but it should give her a new respect for you if she has to waste a whole day taking care of the family instead of hanging out with her friends.

Answer 10

Lots of positives. Praise, love, encouragement. You are your child's life coach. If you don't praise her, she won't want to be on the team. If she does the wrong thing, give her the benefit of the doubt. Talk to her like you would an adult you had a problem with. Treat her with respect. Ask what the problem is. Give her acceptable solutions. Praise her when she does the right thing.

Check out the 5 Love Languages of Children.

Answer 11

It is a case of "monkey see monkey do" When kids get to school and start mixing with others they copy behaviour that they see as "cool" . I am in my mid 30,s and when I was 7 we respected adults. Hopefully she will grow out of it when she gets older. I think this is a national problem it seems all kids these days "know everything" or that is what they think. I don't think there is a single answer for this question. Good luck.