ok, i have a gf, i've been going out wit her for 4 months, she's bi, she had a girl whom she broke up wit 1-2 months ago, i asked her to, she did, but a week later after their break up, they had sex, and last night i found out... since she told me she was bi, at first i thought it was cool but then i started to feel betrayed and cheated on. should i break up wit her? should i feel cheated on?? i need advice on wat to do on this issue between my gf and me thank u, best answer WILL be picked.
2006-10-22 01:48:04 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i love her but yesterday she hurt me pretty bad cuz she never told me bout it...plz help me... what should i do!!??
2006-10-22 01:50:43 · update #1
Of course you feel betrayed, she cheated on you. Cheating is cheating, whether with another man, woman, dog or monkey...but we won't go in to that.
The point is she was not honest with you, and went outside the boundaries of your relationship with someone else. That's all there is to it.
Perhaps she doesn't see it that way because it is same sex, however you should make clear to her that you DO...if you intend to try one more time with her. Then if she strays again, you MUST break it off.
2006-10-22 01:53:00 · answer #1 · answered by his girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You let your desire for her blind you to the fact that she wasn't going to be sexually faithful. But you found out that you really wanted the security of being her one-and-only, so then you insisted that she change. Those are two mistakes: you chose poorly and then you tried to change someone. Nobody can tell you what you SHOULD feel, you feel what you feel and that's it. You feel betrayed and insecure.
You can sit down and have a talk with her, be honest about what you want and how you feel, and listen carefully to what she wants and how she feels. Whatever happens, happens. Or you can break up, having never learned anything about yourself through all this. In which case you will probably go out and make the same mistakes all over with someone else.
But you also should consider that you asked her to give something up in order to be with you, and she did. When you have your talk, you have to acknowledge that.
The biggest issue is that you think she needed to stop seeing this other girl IMMEDIATELY when you wanted her to, regardless of their past history. That's unrealistic and could indicate a control problem.
2006-10-22 09:37:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should feel cheated and you should get out of that relationship!! First of all,I would think it kind of funny,that just because you asked her to leave that other girl,she did. No relationship works where it starts out that way. If she has cheated on you already,be prepared,she will do it again and again!! And you were going out with her for 4 months,but she was still with that girl until 1-2 months ago?????? That should tell you something right there!! RUN!!
2006-10-22 08:59:35 · answer #3 · answered by roses are red 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately your poor foresight has landed you in hot water...
You have been blindsided by this relationship... We all like a little intrigue, but this has gone too far.
our gf has other interests that you can never satisfy....thus she is bi...
You can't compete with anyone who comes along.... She can't help herself, it is her choice... you, my friend should bow out and leave her to her girl.... I think this will only escalate in the future and you will be hurt even more.....
Yes, she did cheat on you, but you indirectly set yourself up....
There will always be a skeleton in the closet while you share a relationship with her....Ask yourself, is this a true commitment between 2 people... I think I know the answer...
If you want someone exclusively then you need to find someone like you.... then there won't be anymore cheating... I'd say goodbye, it has been fun... see you.....
2006-10-22 08:56:20 · answer #4 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you are so upset!! I myself am bi and married to a really great guy. I was always upfront with him about how I felt about girls, and from time to time in our relationship I have had girlfriends. Sometimes he felt jealous and other times he didn't care. He mostly felt jealous when I left him out of what exactly was going on, so I have learned to tell him everything so there are no problems between us. You are basically asking this girl to choose between you and this other person. Imagine her side, just for a second, where she likes you and likes this other person. Maybe inside she is totally happy having both of you, but having to make a choice is tearing her up. Perhaps that seems selfish, like having your cake and eating it too. However, YOU need to figure out what YOU can live with in YOUR life. Can you really deal with her being bi-sexual??? If she was completely open about what she was doing would you still feel cheated on??? Is she willing to share her girl with you from time to time - would you even like that??? Do you see yourself with this person a year down the road, or is this just a short term thing??? Can you trust her to go out with her friends, or will you think she is out screwing them all??? Basically if you don't think you can deal with her liking other women, you need to end this relationship. She can only change herself, even if you beg and plead with her to change. I think you really need to think about what you want and expect from a relationship and go from there. Maybe she isn't the girl for you, or maybe with a little better communication on both ends she is the girl for you - but YOU have to be the one to make that choice or you will just be miserable. Good luck - at least she isn't out sleeping with some other guy!!!!
2006-10-22 11:14:25 · answer #5 · answered by Michaela 4120 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont like the situation then do whats right within you,which is break up with her. Now,if you are just jealous that you cant get in between the two of them then its you and you need to find someone else that will agree with what you are wanting to do,but if she is cheating and doesn not want you exclusively then she is the one with the issue cause she didnt want you like that from the get go!!!! GET ME?????
2006-10-22 08:55:42 · answer #6 · answered by QUEEN K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should feel cheated on. It doesn't matter that she was with another girl.The point is she had sex with someone other than you. You made it very clear that you wanted to be exclusive.and she should have respected that. As far as breaking up with her, It depends on if you can trust her to be faithful to you and if you can move past it. If you can't than its better to move on. If you can forgive her.forgive her unconditionally,don't wonder all the time "who is she with or what is she doing" if you do that it won't work anyway.
2006-10-22 09:07:06 · answer #7 · answered by regina g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try to talk to her let her know how your feeling. Yes i think it is cheating she was with another person it doesent matter that it was with the same sex. cheating is cheating. If talking to her dosent get through to her then maybe you should move on to someone who wont hurt you like that
2006-10-22 08:57:34 · answer #8 · answered by Teresa G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you feel about ger this morning? If you feel that she's let you down and you can't trust her anymore then probably yes break up.
If you still love her want to work through it, and think you can work through it, then follow your heart.
But don't let anyone tell you what to do, follow YOUR heart
2006-10-22 08:51:56 · answer #9 · answered by blondeicehockeyfan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really think she wont cheat again, talk to her about it. if she's bi it shouldnt be a problem as long as she doesnt cheat.. i think you need to get the issue out into the open and talk to your girlfriend. best of luck sweety!
2006-10-22 08:50:58 · answer #10 · answered by nikki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋