Spanking dilemma - slipper?

Question

My 7 year old son went through a very rebellious period last year.
I tried all the usual Supernanny 'time out' things without success and even smacked him with my hand - which he just laughed at.
But when I spanked his bottom with my slipper he took notice and behaved. Now I have a 'magic slipper' - If he's naughty I just take it off and show it to him and he behaves! But I'm reading everywhere that it's wrong to spank with anything other than your hand. Question is, should I give this excellent deterrent up for the sake of political correctness?

Answer 1

i watched a program on the BBC a few month ago is said that as long as bruising is not left when you smack a child then is it not deemed as abuse its only when smacked too hard and serious injury occurse then i would say that is going too far.

As for the slipper it is something that works for you, and i feel that a few people may say on here that you shouldnt smack a child at all, but i feel that sometimes it has to be done when no other method works,

They dont take notice and take you for a joke when you use other methods, and like some people have said try the confiscating method, the confiscating meathod doesnt a;ways work, and i say again you have already found a method and by the sounds of it, they have listened so now you only have to pick up the slipper, i had a a belting off my dad when i was younger, after that he only had to go through the steps of taking off his belt and i did what i was told before he even unbuckled it, tho he always let me know he loved me and that because i misbehave the only way i can learn is if i listen and no other way did i listen until he took his belt to me, as i said all kids are different there are many ways, but keep with the way that works best for you, if you feel guilty then try a different method, you can always come back to the slipper


AND AS FAR AS I AM AWARE AS LONG AS THERE ARE NO BRUISES MARKS OR SORES LEFT BECAUSE OF SMACKING THEN IT IS NOT SEEN AS BEING ABUSIVE TO YOUR CHILD

JUST BECAUSE YOU HIT THEM WITH A SLIPPER DOESNT MEAN YOUR BEATING THEM DOES IT IF YOUR WERE RAISING YOUR HAND ABOVE YOUR HEAD AND COMING down like a ton of bricks then yes you should be locked up, but in order to get disciplin then measures have to be taken as long as they arent extreme ?

Answer 2

No No No....although I do not agree wholeheartedly with spanking children with a Hand or otherwise, the fact still remains that all you have to do now is show him the slipper & that makes him behave. All children MUST grow up with the training of disipline & respect therefore you are doing the job of a good parent & preparing your child for the harsh world that we live in today...Good for you & keep up the good work YOUR son will not develop into the likes of SOME of the delinquants we have around today.

Answer 3

I think if I hear another bleeding heart sound off about the dangers of spanking, I will HURL! Spanking has been an accepted form of discipline up until this generation. Think about how well behaved most kids were up through the 50s and contrast them with the average kid nowadays. NO comparison!

Now, I do not advocate beating a child, i.e., using a switch or one's fist or hitting a child across the face. But loving discipline (yes, one can spank in love with the intent to train or correct) is certainly not abuse!

My cousins are a case in point. They have two girls, and they got spanked for bad behavior when they were young. The parents used one of those plastic spatulas with a padded cover on it, much like an oven mitt, and they were given a few swats on their bottoms whe they misbehaved. When they reached school age, they were old enough to understand that the removal of privileges was not a pleasant experience, so spanking was no longer employed. Both girls are the sweetest, most polite girls you'd ever want to know, and they both have great relationships with their parents.

Now, I know that there were other dynamics in place besides spanking, but what I'm saying is that it didn't HURT them or warp their personalities in any way.

You have found something that your son responds to. Good for you! A son who has a healthy respect for the boundaries his parents set for him is much better off than one who runs wild simply because his parents buy into the current psycho-babble that spanking in this generation is not politically correct.

There is a big difference between discipline and abuse, and abuse could just as easily be defined as a lack of discipline.

Answer 4

I think you are doing the correct thing. I hate the 'same old, same old' Supernanny programme. She's laughing all the way to the Bank. That's all she's in it for. Why do hundreds of parents take on board ONE person's ideas and think that person is right? How many parents have the time to keep putting their child back on the 'naughty chair' or whatever when they've misbehaved? Why have to explain your actions to a child for goodness sake as well. Who's the parent here? Load of rubbish!

Answer 5

My Mum used to threaten me with a slipper (and whacked me a fair few times with it as well!) It certainly didn't do me any harm. I did know that I really had to press her buttons to get her to go that far, but I still did it anyway!! - It eventually got to the stage where I ran away and laughed at the threats, and as Mum couldn't catch me she tried other punishments (like taking my pocket money away penny by penny and I had to earn it back penny by penny!!)
I don't think that a little tap with a slipper or hand will do any damage whatsoever - Parents have been smacking children for years, and as long as it is controlled and doesn't leave a mark that lasts longer than a couple of minutes I say they should keep on doing so!

Answer 6

Is political correctness the only thing worrying you about 'spanking' your child? Not the bad messages you're teaching him? Or the fact that you are introducing fear and physical punishment into his life? I wonder if since the slipper incident his behaviour towards other children has changed?

Maybe you need to research other methods as it does seem that 'spanking' is the easy/lazy option when it comes to disiplining children. I know it takes longer to try other methods but he is your child so maybe he should be worth the extra time and effort.
Chilcare workers are not allowed to use physical means to control/disipline children yet the good ones manage to control a whole room full of them.

Answer 7

Well seems as how you don't need to actually 'use' it anymore, simply the threat of it works, it is a moot point. Your child is now 'conditioned' to the slipper.

I would suggest the idea that it is wrong to spank with anything other than your hand is about not physically damaging the recipient of the spanking. I would have thought common sence should prevail and a item like a slipper is probably similar to a hand.

Answer 8

It probably hurt you more than it hurt the boy, (litterally & figurativley) using your hand. In a world where kids are going to school, & killing each other, I fail to see the reasoning behind letting your children run wild at home, without consequences. and when they end up in jail, or at odds with the powers that be, it is the parent who is blamed..... Political/evil........they are one in the same to me. The Bible says "spare the rod spoil, the child". You have found it to be true, as have I. I love my babies(4) with all my heart, they mean the world to me, I see it as my shot at contributing to mankind. Leaving the place better than I found it. Life holds consequences for bad behavior, & actions. if we do not teach this to our children, the world will, & the same system that disavows the wisdom of punishment, will then take over the discipline with brutal, cold, money grubbing force, because we as parents have been neglectful of our duties. LOL I bet you can think of a few kids who needed a magic slipper too. Follow what works, disregard the rest, & always everyday show them how much you love them, & rejoice in slipper free days! Best wishes, & regards

Answer 9

As a child we got spankings and we deserved them. We knew when we were naughty and knew that if what we did was wrong we would get a hiding. We all seven of us are all still alive, we dont hate our parents, we respect them for trying their best for teaching us what is right and what is wrong. We were never begged to behave, most people complimented my parents on their well-behaved children and my personal opinion is as long as you dont lose control, dont hit the child so hard that it scars them, just a few slaps on the behind it is fine. Look around UK, good couple of kids here can do with a spanking instead of just letting them get away with their nonsense. No child likes being disiplined but will thank you once they get more mature. We dont hate our parents, why should we, we are sociable and expect others not to behave in an anti-social manner. :)

Answer 10

No no and no... Okay so he might grow up to not care much for slippers... could be worse.

You may find it becoming a thing of the past. You have introduced the real world and he has taken notice.

I am married to a very politically correct wife and we spank. We have five wonderful kids who haven't been spanked in ages.

Let the 'professionals' conduct all their surveys and polls and you and I will concentrate on living life and raising our children using what works.

Only you know your child. And it sounds like it's a child who now understands lifes realities... /congrats