Is it lying?

Question

I know this man, who claims never to lie instead he manipulates his words and leaves his statements open-ended. For example, he will say he is coming over and for you to get ready, it's about 7 pm. he won't give an exact time, but he tells you he just has to take a shower and so forth. After a few hours, you being ready and waiting call him and can't reach him. Soon it's close to midnight and finally after 23 phone calls, he answers his phone, finding fault not in the fact that he has left you hanging for 4 or more hours (on your birthday which is now over) but in the numerous calls you have made in an attempt to find out what the hell is going on. He explains that he is on his way and has done nothing wrong, pointing out that an exact time was never established then continues to complain about how many times you called him and how lucky you are that he is even still coming over much less answering your calls. He finally arrives and can honestly say he didn't lie. Is this messed up

jsut so you know, I did end the relationship and I ran far away. He said he loved me more than anything and that he actually felt sorry for me, loosing something as wonderful as himself, I feel sorry for myself but only because I allowed this man to feed on my already complicated self esteem problems, Be weary of men who claim to be "the nice guy" they usually finish last for a damn good reason.

Also, please keep in mind this is one example of many occurances that happened along the road of our relationship, and yes, I am an idiot for staying with him as long as I did

Answer 1

He says he is not lieing to you but, guess what he is not telling you the truth either, this guy has another agenda be cautious of this guy, you did the right thing in getting out of the relationship he obviously did not take you or the relationship seriously especially on your birthday, you can do a whole lot better than this. Totally Messed Up. (Out with the Old In With The New.)

Answer 2

It's not lying but it is wrong. It does not take a guy 4 hours to get ready. And the fact that he didn't answer his cell phone pretty much means he was somewhere where he shouldn't be. And then when you confront him about it he turns it around on you making you feel like the bad person when really it's him. And the fact that he did that on your birthday. My ex use to do this to me all the time to me when we were in high school. So just go ahead and leave him now because he is not worth another minute of your time.

Answer 3

And you need this sort of psycho in your life why?
My response to the pathetic fiasco you have described would have been to say (after he said he'd come over for your birthday): OK, I'll be waiting for you. Then I'd proceed to go out with some other friends, have a grand ole time, and when he calls to berate you for not being home when he got there, simply say: But I waited for you.....I didn't say how long though.....

Answer 4

He may not be lying exactly but you can bet hes not being truthful either. Where was he all that time? If he was really into you he would never leave you hanging like that. Next time keep your pride and tell him sorry but you have better things to do than wait around all night for him. Hes not worth it.

Answer 5

I believe he should be decent enough to come up front and be honest. If he does this often , then he is not a reliable person. You could not trust him with anything. much more your heart. Tell him straight what you feel about his actions. You deserve a better man, someone who would not leave you hanging.

Answer 6

Then why put up with find another that won't do it but will be more considerate of your feelings and your time. That you are just as important in the relationship as what the other person is

Answer 7

totally messed up -- the guy does not respect you --- and he IS lying ---- saying 7:00 means within a plus or minus 10 minutes anything later or earlier is rude and 4 hours is totally unacceptable unless they have a good reason and let you know

give him the flick and find someone who does respect your feelings

Answer 8

Well, it just seems like that he's not taking this friendship too seriously. And he's an *** for complaining the numberous calls you've tried.

Answer 9

In stead of pestering him with calls afterwards, why shuld u not find out in the first instance itself eta.

Answer 10

He didn't lie but no one should manipulate you like that. If you stay with him, it will only get worse. LEAVE immediately. I know someone like this and it only gets much much worse.