and my bf slept with one of thm and after 2 weeks he told me the truth and he said that he cant keep it a secret and he wants me to forgive him but i dumped him and he still begs me to get back together andam still in love with him and am sure he does to(we stayed together for 14 months) but i still have a broken heart and my dignity will be broken if i did get back so wat should i do
2006-10-21 22:21:59 · 15 answers · asked by aha i wanna know 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well it could be worse, he could have done it and kept on sleeping with other girls and never told you and you may have never found out. It depends a lot on how old you guys are, if you are still in your teens or early twenties then I think that its kind of normal for people to want to see whats out there and experiment. Thats just human nature, its hard to be comitted when you are so young, if you are older then you might want to think twice about that though. Your boyfriend obviously has a conscience and felt guilty about it and was honest and truthful about it. I give him credit for that because most guys wont. Its really up to you, I know most people will tell you to dont ever talk to him again and that he is horrible and blah blah blah but only you can make that decision. It doesnt take away that what he did was not right and that he may or may not do it again but like I said, so many guys out there do it all the time behind the girls back that you have to be glad when someone is willing to tell you they made a mistake (not because you caught him but because he wanted to be real with you) and be real with you. Just think hard and if you ever do take him back make sure that he knows he better not ever do it again, if he does then thats it. I do believe some people deserve a second chance. Just keep in mind also that you may not get past it and might not trust him like you did before so it may not work out. But if you love eachother, try it and see what happens.
2006-10-21 22:32:33 · answer #1 · answered by Esme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater, that question will always be in your mind. The trust and respect is gone along with a broken heart. What do you think you should do? A relationship is based on trust and loyalty. Always remember, he has the memory of that worthless skank to keep him warm. You sound like a young adult with a lot of other choices. Would you want to marry him and always wonder who he's doing?
It is much easier to get over a broken heart when your not married. You did the right thing. And don't forget the STD's he could pick up and give to you. Move on!
O'hock
2006-10-21 22:36:06 · answer #2 · answered by orcahock 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An intreguing dillema.
On the one hand- forgiveness it divine and you still love him.
On the other hand- how can you ever trust him again!? Without trust there is no relationship.
As always in this situation I would advocate communication and possibly neutral party counselling. Its clear there are some deep issues to be resolved here- not all of them self evident.
Why did he do it in the first place? What were his reasons, his motives..?
Is he truely repentant or does he realise what he's done, and not want to loose you, because he only now realises there is no one better out there for him?
I'd also go after his "friend". Clearly not a person of honour, character or integrity- cut him from your lives altogether.
The Iceman.
2006-10-21 22:42:13 · answer #3 · answered by The Iceman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have to ask your self can you forgive him and let it go.. Because if all you do is think about it and thats going to make every choice for you when you get back together.. People hold things against people without even thinking about it.. Its takes a lot of guts for him to admit it to you.. Even though it took him 2 weeks he didn't wanna hurt you.. I know he hurt you by cheating..Any other man would of just not said anything and seen how long he could get away with it.. But that doesn't make it any easier or make it ok... You have to make him pay for it.. I am not saying go out and cheat on him.. Then all you are doing is hurting yourself.. Tell him you need him to win back your trust.. And thats up to you how he does that.. Only you know how he can do it...
2006-10-21 22:34:49 · answer #4 · answered by sweetchic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you wouldn't want to return to him because you do not want to be viewed as a doormat who let's people tread on her, yet you love him and are benevolent and forgiving. You can forgive and not seem like you have no self respect, however, make him work for it. Make him start from scratch with dates and phone calls, not sleeping over, not kissing him til you're ready, just like when you were first dating. A new start. And if he really loves you, he will prove it.
2006-10-21 22:28:07 · answer #5 · answered by catch22 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
move on! the history will haunt you, his trustworthiness will always be at question, you will become jealous and suspicious when he is not with you, he will think he can get away with it and this will ruin any chances of a good relationship ... why put yourself through this when someone else will be more than this to you.. of corse if you cant handle being on your own and have such a low opinion of yourself and feel more comfortable in an abusive relationships then he's your man!!
2006-10-21 22:33:47 · answer #6 · answered by whatev3r 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you broke up with him obviously because you weren't happy.
do you want him back now because you are afraid of being alone?
If you take him back, you have to be willing to forgive what he did and leave it in the past. Also, when he cheated did he use protection? That may be the deciding factor
2006-10-21 22:29:36 · answer #7 · answered by m_harvery 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a break. Just tell him, next time, don't do it by himself. Tell him, if he's gonna sleep with someone else, you have to be present. This way, there won't be any miscommunication or misunderstanding. Plus, that'll make your sex life more exciting. good luck.
2006-10-21 22:30:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just remember that you wood still love your dog.Males r wild,you need to start somewhere.I mean give him 1 chance,its not like you r husband and wife.Dont forget men r pigs
2006-10-21 22:30:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Evidently he prefers slut's with money as opposed to one's without. It's your call.
2006-10-21 22:54:20 · answer #10 · answered by older, not wiser 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋