I know this seems like a silly thing, but I do ask, anyways. I am one who, since a very young age, has been attracted to men. I have tried everything... prayed, therapy, most things, but have failed. For some reason, women have never really done it for me and my heart has always felt more complete with a man. But I am a religious person and I know what The Bible says and I want to go to Heaven and I know this needs to stop. But it just seems so helpess, yet I try every day. But nothing. I pray, but nothing. What do I do to be happy and rid this problem? Any help is appreciated. Thank You.
2006-10-21 22:14:10 · 16 answers · asked by Reginald VelJohnson 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I've come to the conclusion from Scripture that God allows--I'm not causes, allows--some people to have homosexual feelings and for those who have such feelings, He is calling them to a life of celibacy and to focus totally on Him. I realize this isn't an easy idea to contend with, but a lot of heterosexuals would have trouble dealing with the notion of celibacy as well--but if God calls someone to do something, Scripture makes it clear that He will give them the means and the ability to do it IF they focus on Him. Does this mean it will be easy? Not at all. Does it mean that His strength will be greater than our weakness in any and every situation? Definitely.
Are you involved with a congregation or other type of group for discipleship? I think you definitely need community around you--all of us do.
If I can help in any way, please feel free to e-mail me at chad@jesusfreak.com. I'll be praying for you. Take care.
2006-10-21 22:32:02 · answer #1 · answered by Pastor Chad from JesusFreak.com 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Well, I'm an Atheist, and this will sound weird to you, but some studies have shown some men, very rarely, can change their sexual orientation. It is not fully embrassed by the psychological community, but research shows no gay gene has been found. I suspect they never will because it goes counterwise with Darwinian Natural Selection. It is suspected that womb environments have something to do with it, so some women may accidently damage their childs brain during its fetal stage. However, experts agree that some social causes may exist to trigger or develop homosexual attractions.
I will honestly tell you that I don't think your case is the one where you can change since you have experienced it throughout infancy. Some men have experienced it first during adulthood or late adolescence, so those men may be the ones who developed homosexual feelings for predominantly social factors.
In any case, you could visit the group at NARTH.com and see if they can help you. If you have been through a NARTH therapist and honestly don't feel that you can "change," maybe you should learn to accept those feelings. If you're religously inclined, realize scripture says homosexual ACTS are against the bible, but not HOMOSEXUALITY. This may lead you to live a life of celebacy, but that is your choice to make. Good luck.
2006-10-22 06:40:05 · answer #2 · answered by Alucard 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like you've really made a good faith effort in trying to 'change.' Don't see it as a failure, but rather gaining the deep understanding that your sexuality is an inherent part of yourself.
Now you have a choice, find a way to live with a negative view of that or change your interpretations of what God wants from us. Did you know that there's a Christian denomination which reaches out to people who choose to accept their sexual orientation within a Christian context? There's a link below -- they're a fantastic group organization.
God made you as you are. If God and God's creation is perfect, then you are too.
2006-10-22 05:46:09 · answer #3 · answered by The angels have the phone box. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is not a silly one to ask. It is very serious and very personal.
I am a religious person, too and I know what the bible says about men sleeping with men.
I know that some people are born with feelings towards their own sex. I don't know why this happens.
I can see your dilima and would not presume or advise you to act in one way or another.
I know that you can tear yourself apart mentally by not being yourself and by living a lie.
At the same time, if you believe the bible is the true word of God, you have to obey this rule just as you would obey the rule not to kill, not to steal, etc.
But I do advise you to speak with more than one minister, priest and rabbi to see what they say.
It is very popular these days to fall in with what everyone else believes is "ok" in the eyes of the lord. Even some religions have changed the rules, those rules given by God.
So while I understand these feelings you have, I can not advise you to act on them. I do hope that some very wise people will advise you on this situation.
I hope you find your solution and act on your own conscience.
My best wishes to you..
Grandma
2006-10-22 05:26:30 · answer #4 · answered by nancymomkids 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your gay, your gay. It is that simple. It is not in your best interest to change or hide who you are based on a book that was written by paranoid people so long ago that no one has a clue if it wasn't just some big joke people decided to play on people later in time. To be quite honest with you there are reasons that this was put into the bible. Not because it is a "sin" but because the population and laws depended on reproduction. To make this as simple as possible it's a load of crap. The only reason it was never taken out is because we still have insane people who do not realize wtf is going on. Seriously... if they cannot or will not accept you for who you are than apparently they don't have your best interest at heart.
2006-10-22 05:34:38 · answer #5 · answered by Mad Reverend 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The ex-gay ministries? They don't work. Almost every single person who goes through their classes and behaviour modification crap ends up going back to being gay after trying (and trying very, very hard in most cases) to be straight. Even the teachers and ministers who claim to be 'ex-gay' and teaching others to be ex-gay are eventually caught in homosexual relationships. The people who go through the classes sometimes marry the opposite sex, even have kids, and still end up going back to same-sex relationships.
It's just a testament to the fact that being gay is not something that you can change. It's part of your brain, or your genetics, or wherever it's encoded at birth. You can't change being gay any more than you can change what colour your eyes are.
To repeat what I have heard many non-bigoted, loving, tolerant Christians say: Why would God make you just to send you to hell for being the way He made you in the first place? He made you perfectly, when He made you, just as He wants you to be. God doesn't make mistakes. :)
I hope you can eventually find peace with who you are, hon, without trying to force yourself into a mold that is just someone else's idea of 'good'.
2006-10-22 05:23:40 · answer #6 · answered by ChiChi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello!! :o) As you can see - there are an awful lot of opinions on this topic. And a lot of ideas as to what God thinks. And I'm afraid - here's yet another one. That said... I understand how you feel. It's not easy to have desires that we believe are frowned upon by the very One who created us. Like you - I believe very much in God. I've been a Christian for years. [Baptized in 1988] I'm also 'gay'. [And I put that in quotes - because whenever I hear from most gay people - I don't feel as though I am 'one of them'] How have I dealt with my sexuality? I've been celibate now for almost a decade. Not because I'm absolutely, positively sure that THAT is what God wants. But BECAUSE I'm not sure what He wants from me. I felt it was best to error on the side of caution and refrain from having ANY sexual contact with ANYONE!! If I were to be sexual again with a guy [and I never was very sexual - to begin with] it would just be surface 'stuff'. I've never been 'into' anal sex partly because it doesn't appeal to me. But mostly because I can't see how God would approve of a man using another man as if he was a woman. [Penetrating him - in other words] That all said... it's confusing - that's for sure. And I still don't know what God wants of me. Should I remain celibate for the rest of my life? I don't know. I could. I suppose. At least I know that now. But do I have to?! I don't know.
Based on my own personal experience - I think becoming celibate would help not only you - but a LOT of people - regardless of who they are. Perhaps not forever. [Or for almost a decade - like me] But long enough to break free of the feeling that sex is a 'NEED' and not merely a 'WANT'. [If you know what I mean] A lot of people have sex because that's how they communicate with others. They don't really know of any other way. I've heard quite a few people say [regardless of their orientation] that they have sex with someone - THEN decide IF they want to be their friend. I'm baffled by that idea for it strikes me as being horribly self-serving. It's as though they are saying, "IF you make me feel good PHYSICALLY - then - maybe - I'll consider dealing with you EMOTIONALLY!!" It's the complete opposite of how it's supposed to be. For now - consider becoming at least temporarily celibate [so you CAN think this through more clearly] and understand that the issue isn't about becoming straight. It's about becoming whatever it is GOD wants YOU to BE!! I hope this helped a bit!! Have a great day!! Craig!! :o)
2006-10-22 06:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hats off to your dedication and strength.
Have you tried fasting with your prayer? If prayer alone doesnt seem to be working....Scripture says to fast...you can think more clearly and you get more results by sacrificing something
God Bless you
2006-10-22 07:56:44 · answer #8 · answered by candi k 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Forget about God ! If he existed he would not of made men who are gay if he dislikes them so much. Don't ruin your life believing in a superstition, free yourself to be who you really are or you will never be happy. look at the world and really think about it, did God create man in his own image, I hope not cus if he did I never want to meet him !!
2006-10-22 05:21:46 · answer #9 · answered by sparky 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Forget the bible, you can't change who you are. Jesus taught tolerance and you are what you are. If we are to believe God made man, then God made some people gay. To deny this Christians say homosexuality is a choice, which it clearly isn't. The bible is full of hypocrisy.
2006-10-22 05:18:36 · answer #10 · answered by Jethro 5 · 5⤊ 2⤋