HELP! I get nervous that I will become nervous. What do I do? Read more...?

Question

Where do I begin … my biggest fear in life, unlike those who fear snakes, the dark, or heights, is stage freight! For some reason, I fear being the center of attention – but then I want to be the center of attention. I like attention, and I want to be liked. It’s weird. I get so afraid that I will get nervous, and so I force myself to become nervous. For example, I tell myself that my hands will shake if I’m reading an essay during a class presentation, and what happens? My hands shake uncontrollably! I tell myself when reading a short paragraph during college that I will panic and everyone will think I’m nervous, and so I panic, my voice cracks, and become nervous. My biggest problem however, is the controlling of my hands. During a hands on presentation for instance…if your hands are uncontrollably shaking, how can you hide your fear? I doubt you can, unless you can completely eliminate your stage fright. However, I know that at other times, people don’t notice my nervousness.

(continued)
Things I’ve tried that didn’t work:
I’ve often heard many people saying that eating food such as a banana helps because it has potassium that controls your nerves from becoming “nervous”… or holding your breath and breathing helps, or imagining the audience as something funny. I’ve even tried rehearsing a class presentation in front a mirror, to a friend, and to my animal. … but for me, these things did not work. It’s more like a mind controlling problem that I have that I can’t seem to get rid of. I fear that I will become nervous. This fear thus forces me to become nervous.

Answer 1

read some confidence books and body language books.

Answer 2

(continued - same guy)I really wish that I could fix this problem. There are many things in life that require leadership, and also presenting. And as an aspiring doctor, I will be using my hands quite frequently. I also hopefully wish that I could become an actor or presenter one day. It’s one of my side dreams that will probably never come true – but if I’m nervous, this will definitely not be possible.

So what’s the worst that could happen; …so I get nervous, and everyone knows. They’ll be like “what’s the big deal. It was just an essay, or a presentation, or whatever… What the heck is he so afraid of. We don’t bite” Um, and you’re telling me that people won’t look at me differently for being a nervous whimp? That is foolish to think that they won’t. Even though my friends, or whomever was there during a presentation , might actually forget the fact that I got really nervous, …they’ll eventually remember that I did panic at one point whether it is during another presentation, or just remember previous occasions of the past. What does this show them? …it shows that I’m a weird, insecure person who worries about what people think. It shows that I’m always worried about what others have to say and that I’m a sissy. And trust me, nobody likes that type of person.

I recall in highschool fearing soooooooo much when a teacher would announce that we have a class presentation coming up. Literally, I’d think about it everyday, worrying, and as that day would approach, I’d be one step closer to a panic attack.

Another weird thing though is that after I finish a presentation, I always tell myself, “it wasn’t that bad. What the heck where you afraid of man” …but then comes next presentation and I get so worried again and then I say it wasn’t so bad. It repeats and repeats. It’s a NEVER ENDING cycle, my god…

I know that becoming nervous is so foolish. But the fact that I can’t control my nervousness makes me nervous. Omg, it’s so hard to describe this. Simply put, here is what I hope you guys can answer:

So how do I become confident, and not care about what people think? How can I become secure enough to present without any worries. How can I control my thoughts and actions. And for god’s sake, control my hands from shaking and sweating! I seek your advise professionals and friends. Any answers or comments are welcome. Thanks

Answer 3

I think your problem is social anxiety. From what i read it happens around people, in social situations, scared to be judged? want to be liked but you don't know how? From big anxiety you have a problem with your hands shaking, but till now I think the biggest cure for that is just to ignore it. However, there are medictaions to take also but that i WOULDN'T recommend to you without visiting your doctor and him telling if you need to take it as well as which! See this site, maybe it helps you - www.socialanxietysupport.com

Answer 4

wow the entire banana thing is BS. you should really look into seeing a therapist. I'm not trying to be messed up and I am not making fun of you in any form, honestly.

A therapist will be more suited in diagnosing your condition and prescribing a possible anti-depressant or mood stabilizing medication for you. The outcome for you will be life changing. It won't happen over-night but with time you will be more at ease and have the ability to stop stressing life in the ways you described.

Answer 5

listen all i can tell u is i dont like to be the center of attention i am a quiet kid in the back of the class room if u have to do a speech or somthing just think the sooner u get it over with the sooner ull be off the stage or center of attention

Answer 6

It sort of sounds like agoraphobia to me. Fear of having a panic attack.

I'd really really encourage you to see a thearpist to help you with it. It can be a serious problem that can grow until you're practically afraid to leave the house. Get help now!

Answer 7

Mental preparation goes a long way to getting rid or nervousness. Also, have confidence!! The more you think about your nervousness, the more nervous you will become!!

Answer 8

It sounds like you have what I have.

Social anxiety disorder (SAD), also referred to clinically as social phobia, is a psychiatric anxiety disorder involving overwhelming anxiety and excessive self-consciousness in everyday social situations. People experiencing social anxiety often have a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being watched and judged by others and being embarrassed or humiliated by their own actions.

Answer 9

if your subconcious mind is that powerful... why not trying to tell your sell the opposite! like instead of saying oooo my hands are gonna shake... say to urself.. Im awesome and I can do anything I want to and right now i want to do good and Not be nervous...

Answer 10

You are self sabotaging - programming yourself for failure by visualising failure. Why not visualise success? They are both habits! "The Feeling Good Book" will tell you how to be more positive.
http://www.feelinggood.com
These people will help you learn to feel comfy in the spotlight:
http://www.toastmasters.org
Take action - when you succeed - let me know!