Ok, So I have this female friend who currently has a long standing boyfriend but she still seems to come on to me. Like we love each other--as friends-- but now she says she loves me as more than a friend. She wants to come to my house but if she does I know we will have sex and I'm afraid that after that she may dump her boyfriend and try to hook up with me but I'm not looking for a relationship--at least not with her. So would sex seriously change this relationship? Also I don't want to be a catalyst for someone else's breakup. So I don't know what to do because what I usually do is avoid contact but were close friends and I don't want to do that. Any advice would be great. Thanks.
2006-10-21 20:06:50 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you don't use people just to have sex to see how it would be...grow a conscience and find someone else!
2006-10-21 20:21:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you are not thinking of her as a close friend because you are thinking about sex with her. Also if you do not understand the difference between women and men and how they approach sex, you should not be having sex. I will explain to clarify. Men can sleep with women without emotional connection for the most part because sex is something that has a visual trigger in men. You see a hot girl the gear gets functional because in your primitive brain you have the mating ritual come to life. Women on the other hand are prone to emotional attachments with the men they choose to sleep with. I say most , not all, just because its the same for men, most not all. Women tend to want an emotional connection before intimacy because for them sex is an intimate connection which goes beyond the primarily physical act men are performing. Hence women like kissing and touching more then men, because this is love and affection. Men see a pretty face (in their opinion because beauty is highly subjective) and the magic works. Does this make men bad? No it means they work on a different frequency then women that is all. So a direct response to your question would be yes sex would change a friendship and it is not worth it unless you do not want to be friends with this woman anymore. But it would be better to say you are feeling like she is your sister to try and dissuade her from getting your own motor started which could lead to actions you would regret later.
Do not sleep with her, and explain your not looking for a relationship right now. She will counter with something else and possibly try and entice you. Or she could be understanding and continue the friendship.
2006-10-22 03:24:59 · answer #2 · answered by Satsune 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well sex will change everything and if its not what you want.. And if she is as good of a friend you say she is then she will understand that you don't wanna do anything to make it hard to see each other in the morning... And it would be wrong for you to sleep with her knowing she has a bf but its even more wrong of her to put you in the position... But it also puts your friendship in a spot also because she has feelings for you and if she feels rejected she might pull away.. if you need someone talk to I am always here to listen just email me or send me an im... my email address is sweet_tx_chic21@yahoo.com... my screen name is the same.. or if you have aol my name is sweetress25
2006-10-22 03:32:53 · answer #3 · answered by sweetchic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't make her cheat on her boyfriend. I was in this situation once and we were about to do it, and then i stopped it. It ddint even happen and out friendship changed. Like we dont talk as much as we used to. If friendship is more important than sex, then i say dont do it. And let her know that too. 9 times out of 10 good friends end up dating.
2006-10-22 03:10:29 · answer #4 · answered by aricalyn10<3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't stand that so many people always ask these questions. You do too know what to do. You already answered your question while you were asking it. You know exactly what would happen and you know exactly what not to do. You know that sex always changes a friendship. If anybody tells you it won't they're giving you a load of crap. Just tell her exactly what you said in your question. It's honest and straight forward. If she can't deal with that, maybe she can't be just friends with you any more.
2006-10-22 03:16:04 · answer #5 · answered by ammellisa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex always changes everything if you have sex with her I'm sorry to tell you your not longer friends but besides that why the hell would you have sex with her if she has a bf thats called cheating! geez and you need to tell her thats your not wanting a relationship and that your afraid that things will change ( witch they will! ) instead of being a damn chicken
2006-10-22 03:15:16 · answer #6 · answered by blood_shadow_walks 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, yes, it would change the relationship. Even a simple french kiss would. If you don't feel like it, just don't do it. As for her bf, you should feel responsible if she breaks up with him because that is totally for her to decide. If she is really your friend, she'll understand
2006-10-22 03:14:44 · answer #7 · answered by Horumaket 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends don't fak friends. Sex totally is going to ruin the friendship. You get next level but if doesn't work friendship is over.
2006-10-22 03:13:57 · answer #8 · answered by Toto 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, for instance itt seems inpossible to stop having sex and still see each other as friends.
2006-10-22 03:11:24 · answer #9 · answered by gjmb1960 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just explain you are not ready and friends are all you want right now.
To bad you don't think about a friend for life you love and live with what a concept...
2006-10-22 03:16:40 · answer #10 · answered by aaricka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no idea....
is ur friend that horny???????/
....ok...sry about ....not being rude
well to get it at the start
yes sex will change ur relationship as friends by 10 folds
just think aboutr it
if u ahve sex withthe opposite sex that makes u sort of as wife and husband
...ur friend ahs a werid attitude....y the fu** would she dump her bf just becasue she ahd sex with u??
anyways\
how r u certain she will ahve sex with u...just sayuing my thoughts...................
2006-10-22 03:11:42 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋