What would you do if you were in your early twentys, buying a new house and just got a new job? Do you tell everyone? How do you break it to someone? How do you tell your employer that you might be in a wheel chair within years?
2006-10-21 19:34:34 · 12 answers · asked by manpalda s 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
nikki is rite. you still have the present, so go on and live it, love it, and relish it. maybe even have a child sooner. Yes enjoy the house. If u can't keep it maybe ull even make money off it. Talk to a financial planner about that and your other financial affairs.
Your rights at work are protected by government laws. So be secure there!!!
And sorry about your diagnosis. Good will to you.
2006-10-21 19:45:09 · answer #1 · answered by Tall Guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First - there are many types of MS. Not everyone ends up in a wheelchair in a couple years. Montel Williams is still going strong.
You DO NOT put your life on hold, nor do you deny yourself a life. As for getting married, that would be between your future spouse and yourself. Sit down and talk about best and worst case situations.
You tell who you are comfortable with telling. I would hold off telling a new boss until you are settled in and past probation. Once you are a full time hire then you can speak with HR and tell them the situation. They can't fire you if you are ill. If you can't do your job, say a fire fighter or something they may buy you out and pay for retraining. As for a house, you may want to look for something with space that could accomidate you IF you did need a chair. Bedroom and bathroom on the main floor, maybe open concept.
I know you are freaked out right now and it feels like the rug was pulled out from under you. But keep in mind...this disease is varied. Some people will have a flare up once a year, some have mild to no symptoms for years and some (very few) get a more agressive type. A friend has MS, single mom, three kids and finished a university degree. She had trouble driving and was tired, and that is it so far. And she was told hers is the most aggressive.
But I would recommend this - now is the time to get in very good shape, stronger the body shorter the bounce back time. Eat healthy, no smoking, drinking etc. Act like you are training for the Olympics. Sleep lots, de-stress your life where you can. And always keep hope burning bright...cures are around the corner for so many illnesses!
2006-10-21 19:51:50 · answer #2 · answered by muggin_girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have MS, and was going through what you are going through five years ago (about wedding plans). I only told my soon to be husband and immediate family and friends (that's because I was in the hospital for 3 weeks and they came to visit). My first bit of advice, is to consult an attorney to go over your finances alone (& with you and your soon to be husband), as well as the benefits and risks of buying a home (considering your health and the bills that can become overwhelming). Next, do not tell your employer - I made that mistake once. I will never open my mouth up again. Lastly, have an amazing wedding! We spent a little too much on ours... and I don't regret it at all. I just had this picture in my head, that I wanted to be a beautiful bride and not be pushed down the aisle in a wheelchair. Isn't it stupid, what one can be afraid of. Anyway, enjoy yourself. Just live your life and be happy. But, do not forget to consult an attorney... if it wasn't for that one choice to see him, we would be in the poor house right now. The one thing that a lot of people don't understand, is that even with insurance MS is an incredibly expensive condition. Take care of yourself!
2006-10-25 09:34:43 · answer #3 · answered by Melissa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No u tell no one but people in ur circle. meaning people who u have known for a long time and trust totally. MS is not a death sentence. I have a friend who has it and there are drugs to slow the progression of it. Live ur life . not dangerously and not so rigid u are not really living but existing. there will more than likely come a day where u cannot do what u want physically so now when the opportunity comes take taht skiing trip or race or whatever. And while u are still healthy enough go ahead and take that walk down the isle. dont miss out because ur afraid. does not matter that u were diagnosed ur boss is on a need to know basis and he/she only needs to know when it starts to effect ur work , then u can explain wy u may not be up to par. but honestly we could all die any minute . tomorrow is promised to no one. a healthy person may live a shorter life than u... LIVE LOVE LAUGH right now..
2006-10-21 19:43:45 · answer #4 · answered by lysa c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-14 21:24:10 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would first want to now everything I can about MS before I did anything else. May I please suggest you log off Yahoo and go to www.nationalmssociety.org. Look closely at the home page and you'll see Information for the Newly Diagnosed. Click on it. There are sections for the Basic Facts - Who to tell first, Living with MS, Treatment options and lots more. You may not end up in a wheelchair in a few years after all. God bless you and don't lose courage or joy in living.
2006-10-21 19:55:46 · answer #6 · answered by TweetyBird 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't cancel the wedding, get a second and third opinion. It could be a misdiagnosis.
No, don't tell everyone. People don't know how to deal with that kind of information, it makes them uncomfortable, and they can get stupid about it and could consequently avoid you.
Say it straight out to those close to you if you want to share, but know that family and friends aren't always as supportive as you might have thought or expected.
Absolutely DO NOT tell your employer or co-workers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!It's not their business and you don't owe them your life. You will likely be discriminated against and that's a whole other problem you don't want to deal with. You have to think about it legally and you have to protect yourself. You don't want to have more battles to fight besides the diagnosis you've been given.
Look into getting disability insurance, if it's not too late (pre-existing condition) and other things that could help set you up. You need to make sure you will be taken care of financially in the future and will be able to pay your bills, especially doctors, tests, and medications.
2006-10-21 19:54:48 · answer #7 · answered by LetMeBe 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You do not know what the future holds! You could be cured tomorrow.What makes you think you are going to be in a wheelchair down the road? MS is different for everyone.Some people have a major attack and never experience it again. A cure is on the way just have faith. Enjoy your life, have fun, and like I said have faith!
2006-10-21 21:05:15 · answer #8 · answered by Love Child 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first one to tell is the person your engaged to. If things are ok with you two , you can work things out when needed. You tell others when you have to, nothing to be ashamed of. . Go on about your business , you never know there is always new medicine available to everything. Best of Luck Pem
2006-10-21 19:43:52 · answer #9 · answered by Patricia M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take it dqay by day tell your family and possibly some of the friends you can trust and see what they say. but don't stop your life for it. Get married have a family buy a house do your thing it can be handled when it needs to be. it doesn't need to take over your life now.
2006-10-21 19:39:40 · answer #10 · answered by nicole 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋