After the divorce(2 daughters),finding a new lover?

Question

I'm a mother of 2 girls(ages 8 and 5).I'm planning to divorce my husband(don't worry about the children's feelings,they don't love their father and don't mind).With the 8-year-old we usually have 'girl talks' and talk about finding a lover or a rich husband.My daughters want a new father,different than the biological.Would you recommend me where can I find a nice person to marry?

Answer 1

I really hope this is not a real question because it is scary that someone that naive and uninformed is raising a child. Whether the children like a father or even if he is abusive it does affect the child because it is changing their enviroment. also a 8 and5 year old are not appropiate accomplices to finding a new lover. Find some friends your own age and ask them

Answer 2

you are kidding yourself if you believe your children 'don't mind' about the divorce. And more importantly that you, their mother, are not 'worried about their feelings'. And just as important, you are using your children as your emotional sounding board which you disguise as 'girl talks'. Your children are saying they want a new father because that's what they know YOU want to hear. I would recommend that YOU get your girls into some counselling and yourself into parenting classes and also extensive counselling for yourself. Forget about remarrying for a good long while and try and focus on the needs of your children for a change.

Answer 3

First off you are placing your daughter in the middle of a very adult situation... While they may not like thier biological father you should not be treating your 8 yr old like a girl friend discussing men and finding one with her she is a child.... By having the discussions about finding a lover, a rich man etc. to be your husband you are teaching her that the qualities to look for in a man are money before values, etc...

No wonder your marriage has fallen apart you don't know what's important to a marriage yourself yet you are teaching your daughter your flawed ideas...

In all liklyhood you will find yourself a man anywhere you choose to look but after a while he will see you for the gold digger you are and you will lose him... Hopefully he will have had you sign a prenuptual agreement so you leave with nothing but the skewed values you came with...

Best of luck to your daughters they are going to need it as they will likely be labeled gold diggers like thier mother in future... You are an example to your dughters, not thier friend you are thier mother start acting the part before its too late and you are saying "How did my daughtrs turn out like this?" I will however help you, when that phrase comes up the answer is "They turned out like this, because they are following in my footsteps and I taught them to be gold diggers just like me."

Answer 4

I think that you should speak negatively about there dad to them let them come to the conclusion of him on there own they will because if he is and idiot it will show but try not to get the girls so involved after all that is there dad

As for a new husband take your time you dont want divorce # 2 and you need time to adjust and so do your girls and marry for love not for marriage you need to be a good example on the girls because that is how they will be dont give up on love

Answer 5

Hi Alisa, Is there a reason that your daughters doesn't like their real dad?? has he been abusey with your daughters or you?? are you the one who is putting ideals in their heads?? why would you want to talk to your 8 year old about a new daddy for them??why in the HELL would you want to remarry than facts.you haven't given enough detail on what's really going on in the house hold.

Clowmy

Answer 6

I can't believe that an adult woman is taking advice from an 8-yo child about love. Time for a reality check. Why would a man want to marry someone that took another man's children away from him?

Answer 7

I think you should consider counseling. I'm not trying to be mean, just helpful. Your children do love their father. All children love their parents. And when you bad mouth their father in front of them, you are rejecting half of where they came from. Please seek professional help before you make any decisions. And by all means, stop trying to find another husband before the first one is out the door.

Answer 8

It's not appropriate for you to speak that way with an 8 year old. Good luck sinking your claws into a rich hubby. You seem, from this brief paragraph, to be very materialistic and possibly of less-than-average intelligence.

Answer 9

It is totally inappropriate for you to be having those conversations with your daughter; she is just a child, for God's sake! It appears there is a lot more wrong at your house than just your marriage!

Answer 10

I agree with logicreason