The Question Competition #1!?

Question

Why did the chicken cross the road?

[longest answer wins best answer!]
[dont take an answer from that one website with a million fake answers from different celebs]

It has to be funny also to win, not just long

Answer 1

Few people know this, but the chicken had to be coerced into crossing the road in the first place. The chicken about whom we are speaking was named Velvet French Guinea and he was as easily scared as any living creature. He got scared by his own mothers face, but in his defense she was a horribly grotesque looking woman. The only person that could muster up love for that face was Velvet's grandmother, as the saying goes. Velvet was such a baby that a group of nomadic, carniverous key lime pie slices, the Sweeties as they like to call themselves, witnessed him running and screaming in terror because had accidentally put on his jacket inside out. The Sweeties, having never seen a chicken before, thought that this was how they all behaved and thus forward called each other "chickens" when one was afraid. This is how the popular term came to be in our language.
Now what is such a 'chicken' doing crossing not only a road, but one of the busiest highways in all of rural Texas? Well it all started sometime after Velvet's high school graduation. College had hit him hard and he was begining to feel lonely. He didnt go out to parties because he was afraid of drinking and all of his old high school friends had gone away. He was left quite lonely and decided that he must engage in an adventure to meet some new friends with which he could share melted cheese dangles, his favorite treat. Well needless to say, adventure was just too scary for Velvet and he never made it out of his door, his jacket was inside out again. His mother saw this and realized that she needed to do something for her baby. She hadnt noticed his loneliness until that moment, and being the compassionate gordfaced lady she was, she decided that it was time to help her son along.
She took out a syringe and filled it with the leftover tranquilizer that she had in the cupboard and put Velvet into a nice nap. She then lugged him over to the side of the highway and positioned him just right, so that when he awoke the first thing he would see would be his shadow and he would run away from it, across the highway. Once on the other side, he'd be too afraid to cross back and he'd have to find someone else to latch onto besides dear old mum.
Well, Velvet did awake, but he noticed something else before his shadow. Velvet's mother had never really thought much about the large growths on the side of Velvet's head, but it was these exact growths that stopped Velvet from running across that highway. These growths were in fact ears, as we know them, of course to the rest of the chicken population they were facial details that made Velvet not much better looking than his dear old mum. Not understanding what ears were, Velvet's mum had no clue that he would actually hear the cars wizzing by him. He did and he ran straight back to his home, was frightened by the site of the house, it looked very much like an ugly chicken with ears, and he fell backwards into a sewer.
Once falling into the sewer, Velvet was obviously ready to be scared by a million different things in the damp hell he was about to find himself in. Instead he found Roberta Flack. She had been down in the sewers ever since her career decided to leave her in the late 80s. These two strangers thrust together suddenly seemed to find something special and comforting in one another however. They both felt so at home when they gaed into each others eyes for the first time. In fact, Velvet had thought he was looking in a mirror when he first saw her and this scared him very much. They grew to be great friends though, these two shy outcasts, bitter at a mean and 'quite dreadfully scary' world. As far as I know, they both are still rocking gently, rocking slowly in the sewers of rural texas sharing melted cheese dangles wearing reversible jackets. Of course, once Velvet learns who she is or was, he will become scared, but there will be no where to go this time. She will sing to him while he loses his mind, has a nervous breakdown and once again an innocent creature will be killed softly because of her singing her own damn song.

Answer 2

The reason teh chicken crossed the road is that she was running away from someone, this someone being a weird transvestite looking white guy. See the weird white guy is best known for having changed the color of his skin entirely, that's right, the white guy is pedophile Michael Jackson!!! The thing is after being scrutinized so much about being perverted for wanting to be white and after gettin away from all those sexual charges, he decided it would be unsafe to keep sleeping with children, so Instead he sent to buy a farm full of farm animals. the problem is all the big animals like the Horse, the cow, the goat, the sheep, and so on would not let him get his freak on, they would walk all over him, literally. So after 10 serious emergency rushes to the hospital, he started trying out smaller animals, like dogs, and pigs, but the pigs were too dirty and the dog didn't turn him on, so then came the chicken. Only the chicken realized what Michael wanted to do, so he ran while Michael followed in a limo. The chicken turned into the Mall, so Michael would have to get out of the car and then crossed the road to get to the street that would take him to the docks, where he jumped on a yatch and ended up in florida.

Answer 3

Well, when the chicken escaped from the farm, he wanted to get as far away from it as possible, knowing the out come of him staying there. He's running away from home and hits the major crossroads into town. He can either turn back and face an inevitable doom of becoming someone's dinner, or cross the street to freedom, where there is a temporary petting zoo and a very cute female chicken. He's standing at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to turn green, when he sees the farmer's assistent running towards the chicken. The chicken, scared out of his mind, starts to freak out. He now has a decision to make. He looks across the street to the petting zoo, and then back to the assistant. He's in a dilema, the light's still red, and he has a risk of getting hit. With the farmer's assistent coming closer, the chicken decides to risk it and run through the throng of traffic, making it unscathed to the other side, he walks to the petting zoo. So, the chicken crossed the road to not only get to the other side, but to join the traveling petting zoo and meet the cute chicken in the petting zoo.

Answer 4

the answer for this question lies on the details and specifications of the chicken. can it cross or can't it cross is the ultimate question which has no value whatso ever to the end consumer. if the chicken has the ability to cross the road and weighs about 2 kg then it remains to be seen that the road is in a good condition. assuming all the best conditions prevail, the chicken can now cross the road and reach safely on the other side. however, the worm will be gone by then....so TOUGH LUCK STUPID CHICKEN

Answer 5

cos he was a lonely chicken and there were no other chickens living in the area and the train station was on the other side of the road and he had to cross the road in order to catch a train to the countryside where his closest relatives were living thats why the chicken crossed the road.

Answer 6

Well it was a tough choice for him.He could see some of them female chickens on the other side,and he wanted to get to them.But he had good friends and whiskey with him already.But he also knew the farmer was going to chop his head off and eat him one day.So the brave chicken braved the traffick and crossed the road and got with them female chickens.Sadly a few weeks later the old farmer cought up with him and had him for supper.

Answer 7

Because he need ded to get some bacon to show off to the pig because the pig p*ssed him off and the chicken wanted to shove it in his fat face so he went to the butcher on his side on the road but alll he did was speak in spanish so he was like "screw this" so he went to his stupid neighbors house and they only spoke chinese so he's like"screw this" so he went to his stupid older brother but he only spoke idiot so he was like "screw this" so he decides to cross the road while he wonders why the f*** evryone speaks in a different language. He was going to cross the empty road when suddenly some drunk moran flies across the friggen road screaming "Chicks dude chi- whoa did i just run over a chicken?" So the chicken manages to drag himself across the road and he sees that dumba** pig holding a chicken leg in his grubby little hoof (or whatever they call those things). So the chicken
[CENCORED FOR VIOLENT CONTENT]
and ate bocan for the remaining time that he lived.
THE HAPPY FRIGGIN END.

Answer 8

adult adult males's Bracket a million. Koumidiator KFC WRW VLR OS 2. Bret Hart's #a million Fan 3. e book of Wrestling 4. Tyler A LIFA vs. massive Van Vader 5. unique™ (dxsoulja) 6. MAF_11:13(Cowboys 5-a million SoWhat?) 7. bp131 8. MVP's #a million Fan RIP Eddie G female's Bracket a million. Legend Killer %OFC KFC OS 4HM 2. Animal Luvr 4 existence vs. #a million classic!!!! 3. heart wreck gal vs. ? ??v? ? 4. anahimoon vs. viva l. a. pingu 5. Audrina, (MCMG own.) 6. sandy 7. queen of intense 8. rko& factor fan

Answer 9

Longest answer.

Answer 10

c_mitu89 WINS!!!!!!!!!! I laughed so hard, I fell off the chair. What a riot!