I am extremely happy with my boyfriend, I know he is my soul mate, the best thing that has ever happened to me. He has changed my life! So why do I still think about my old friend from years ago? It is not often, only occassionally. But when I do it is for a long period of time and then I become really angry and sad. I begin to miss him, and wonder if he remembers me or thinks about me, but then I get so mad because he can never compare to the love of my life now, and I think to myself, how could you possible waste your thoughts on him! This really bothers me because I never got the closure I needed. Do I think it's b/c he never admitted that he loved me back then? Am I just angry or could it be that I love him as well? or Perhaps, I just need closure? I am so confused.
2006-10-21 18:02:46 · 11 answers · asked by T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think you need closure or that he should of admitted that he loved you. I think that he has become your escape romantic fantasy guy. You have made him a legion in your own mind and that is it. Whenever reality bites you can take your brain to that place where you feel like you have been druged by the love bug.
The reality is that if you did meet him face to face he woudn't even come close to your expectations. It would be a disappointment. Best to leave him in the past. No need to feel quilty. He has become a coping mechism for you.
Nothing wrong with going to that place in your brain. But, don't let that experience destroy your current life or ever make you think you can go to him and he can NEVER make your life better or rescue you or be what you need in a man.
2006-10-21 18:33:28 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your current boyfriend is your soulmate and if you feel like you could NOT live without him then the last guy was not for you. It should not matter if the last guy never told you that he loved you. I think you may be a little nervous because things are getting very serious with the one you are with now. Or your ex boyfriend made you feel differently then the current one.
but the question to ask is "Is he your soulmate because of how he makes you feel or just solely based on his charachteristics?" And how can you recieve any closure without possibly bringing back more of those old feelings. Sorry .. i might have added to your confusion.
2006-10-22 01:15:06 · answer #2 · answered by DancinDeeva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need closure but are unlikely to get it. It's long over, you've got a whole new life now. Every time you think thoughts like this, remind yourself that you like yourself and this life you're living. He will fade from your consciousness if you derail the thoughts with a genuine appreciation of how YOUR life has turned out.
Don't waste time looking in that little rear view mirror when there's a whole windshield in front of you and a future coming at you.
2006-10-22 01:11:47 · answer #3 · answered by lmcbuilder 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh god I know how that is for me as well. Things like that sometimes just needs to be let loose though. When it ever comes back in the head , just try to say to yourself "its in the past, its in the past and I am better off now." Hard to say but you know that you love your soulmate and you are happy that way......
All it is , is taking a wonder on how it would of been to be with that other person. Things like that should be turned away from becuase if your happy the way you are right now, and knowing your life feels complete, that is all you need.
2006-10-22 01:07:52 · answer #4 · answered by phsyco 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way about my ex Mike...we never really faded off in our relationship...the end was so sudden that I couldn't really ever let it go...but then I met the man of my dreams, Matt...I still thought of Mike from time to time and would get frustrated at Matt for no apparent reason sometimes when I would do that....but I learned that when I think about Mike and the love that we had, I try to think about Matt and the love that we have now and the future that we have together...nothing can change your past....but the future hasn't happened yet...and only you can make it how you want it to be...I hope I could help...and good luck...
2006-10-22 01:10:11 · answer #5 · answered by Poptart 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered yourself, babe. You need CLOSURE. But make sure it's closure and not the beginning of a new relationship. You love the guy you're with.
2006-10-22 01:06:12 · answer #6 · answered by ks_stud_2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let the past stay in the past. You have someone now who you seem to be really happy with, focus on that. Trust me I know it's easier.... coming from someone who's a bit lovesick & stuck in the past a bit.
Just make the most, and appreciate what's in your present & your future. Your former "friend" is in the past for a reason, and why even think fondly of someone who could not appreciate you or your feelings.
Let it go, you're better off and you know it. He was not the one for you.
2006-10-22 01:17:56 · answer #7 · answered by grldragon101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mind gives out signals at wrong time sometimes. Ingore them and live happily w/o them.
2006-10-22 01:08:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cause deep down your not really happy.Stop lying to yourself,go get what you really want and move on.
2006-10-22 01:09:13 · answer #9 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
need closure
2006-10-22 01:06:10 · answer #10 · answered by iris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋