Ladies, what do you think?

Question

So I have seen many posts about what girls like. the say honesty all that stuff and that looks are not the most important it is personality and such. I an an average looking guy, I think I am a nice guy (almost to a doormat type nice), I will admit I am a geek ( like like video games, tech stuff, anime, ect) and I am a social recluse (Don't like large groups, I like quiet beaches home, dinners out ect). so how is it that it is darn near impossible to meet a girl, and when I do you get the line of "I don't want to ruin the friendship" that line is almost worse than a flat out rejection :P anyhow, just wanted some thoughts from the ladies on this. thanks

By doormat, I do not mean to say I am a push over, but I do get used because I will do all I can for a lady, holding doors, ect. I have even helped girlfriends pay thier rent. so I do get walked on in that way, but I don't let them push me around as far as my opinions and values

Answer 1

See, I really love a guy just like you....and the reason I love him so much is cause he's so sweet. I was in a play a while back in a city that was pretty far away, but he did everything possible to come see me. I think thats all you can do is be you, and if people don't except your kind personality then they don't know how much of a gift from God that they're missing.

Answer 2

You sound sweet, but only a very bossy, dominating, controlling woman will want a near-doormat. Most women like a guy to be a little more in control and have a bit more confidence.

Everything else sounds adorable. If you're a social recluse then yes it will be hard to meet women. Why don't you join some sort of fun organisation where there are plenty of women?

Answer 3

As much as we girls say we want a nice guy....we only want that to a point. I don't believe any of us wants a door mat. We want nice to a certain extent, but you also need to have self confidence. The fact that you refer to yourself as almost a doormat, geek and social recluse doesn't give off a very confident vibe. You need to develop your self esteem and like who you are so the girls will like who you are too. It's darn near impossible to meet a girl if you are a "social recluse." They aren't going to come knocking at your door. Force yourself to go out into social settings...you don't have to stay long if you're very uncomfortable. You may, however, stay just long enough to meet a really nice girl. Don't compromise who you are, or be fake. There are girls who are homebodies and enjoy video games and computers too.....even some hot ones.

Answer 4

While it is true that we all strive to look for good inner qualities, people do not look beyond a person's physical appearance until they have gotten to know the person. Although it is true that attractiveness is a real attention-getter initially, it is the inner beauty that takes time for others to truly appreciate. In other words, for short-term dating, outer beauty can win many dates; however, long-term relationship requires much more (i.e. honesty).

In conclusion, I believe that looks, values, philosophy, lifestyle, and so forth are all essential elements that are sought by everyone. Depending on the individual doing the seeking, they prioritize those factors according to what is important to them. For instance, shallow people care only about looks and money; religious people look for value and philosophy.

Answer 5

Perhaps you are looking for your type of girl in the wrong places! I too am a social recluse, mainly because most people annoy me. I enjoy more in-depth intellectual conversations, rather than conversations about the latest fashion, cutest guys, and all the other superficial bullshit that seems to be everywhere. There are girls out there similar to yourself, just be patient, she could be just around the corner.

Answer 6

Sounds like you might be trying too hard. Try not to think of a girl as a prospective girlfriend. Just as a "friend". You've got to put yourself out there more. Try taking a class, join a gym or volunteer. At least you'll be in a relaxed environment with people who have similiar interests. Relationships can't be forced. They'll happen if they are meant to be. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Here is the deal for guys. If you want to get a girl, any girl, the cutest one, or the least cute one just treat them like the most unimportant thing in your life. No disrespect though, never, to noone should I even mention this. Look I want to be short, but I have the previlege to have quite a full and exiting private life. Girls have issues about how they see themselves. They tend to have low self-esteem, especially those who show it the least interestingly. Let the system work for you, always in life. Be a challenge. Ignore her. She comes, you still ignore her. If she likes you in the first place, even just a tiny bit, you will see her go down bottom for you over time, she won't even know herself why. Just resist, then you are on top. Never let go of that spot. You need to keep her wonder what in the world is wrong with herself that you dont fall in love. It's a survival thing, it's complicated but to a woman, it is a most important thing to be wanted. (call them dumb, but especially by the one doesn't). You understand this you will have a very different life my friends. Actually you will end up having the one girls everybody wants but nobody gets, it comes logically. If you keep it like that you are the strongest, if the balance shifts, walk away, you'll get burned. Basically, you fall in love you get burned. She won the challenge, there is nothing left for her to learn or to improve I should say. Nature is tough its just like that but if you get it, things become a lot easier. I love feminists though, especially for breakfast with my eggs. Good night fellas.

-live-pause-observe-think-live...

( I should really get paid for this )

Answer 8

Maybe you are going for the wrong type of girls. I know that most guys want a super hot chic, but maybe if you lowered your standards a bit you would find a woman that likes you for all the nice things you say you are.

My husband could be explained just as you explained yourself. Men like you are hard to find because us women tend to overlook you. But don't worry, just try a bit harder to be assertive and you will eventually find true love.

Answer 9

It depends on the type of girl you go for. If you go for out-there social butterflies because they're hot you might just be barking up the wrong personality tree (those girls are generally more shallow.) Try being more assertive. I know its hard and I'm kind of a hypocrite since I am also very introverted and geeky. :)

Answer 10

are you a Scorpio? There if a fine line between friendship and relationship material...you have to take the initiative before the friendship develops and before the relationship boats passes by. Email me...play video games with me!!