Last Sunday I told this girl that I've been crazy over for the past 3 years how I felt. I told her how I think she is perfect, beautiful on the outside and absolutly amazing on the inside. I never thought I would ever have a chance with her because she could get any guy that she wanted, but I decided to go for it.
She told me that she didn't want a relationship in her senior year and that it wasn't because of me that she didn't, she said that its everyone. I don't feel like that's a lie, but I don't think it's a good enough answer.
I feel like this girl is the one. I feel like it doesn't matter where we go to college or who we meet, that if it's right, if it meant to be, then we make it work. I tolf her that and she really didn't say anything.
I've written out this long letter about how I feel. About how I think she's the one. How I think that every girl says that they will go to college and then meet the right guy and they never do. Telling her that she's looking at the
2006-10-21 17:44:13 · 26 answers · asked by radchad25 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
right guy right now; the guy standing in front of her. I put in there that I can get over her, even though she's my first love, if she just tells me the truth. I just want her to come out with it; come out with why she thinks it won't work. I just want her to tell me if it's the looks, or if its the personality or whatever it is; I just want to know. If she just tells me the God honest truth, then I can move on. It won't be easy, but I can move on. I can't keep going like this not really knowing.
So, should I give her the letter? Or should I let it go and maybe forever lose my first love??
2006-10-21 17:46:58 · update #1
My history with this girl is simple.
We met in Freshman year. I sat behind her in 3rd period English class. We hung out a throughout freshman year, but after the year ended we didn't; we go to different schools.
The way our school district is set up we have two high schools and one "Freshman School." They did this because we are such a large district. I go to one high school and she goes to the other high school.
I had strong feelings for her through 9th grade and there after. But after a while I got over her, or so I thought.
At the end of junior year, she called me and we went to lunch and got caught up; Every feeling and more came back and they have been spinning in my head ever since June 4th.
I asker her out and we went to the park for a few hours and really had a great time and we hung out a little through the summer, but once school started again, we both have been so busy we haven't hung out. We mainly talk on the phone and internet.
She's just amazing!
2006-10-21 18:14:10 · update #2
Tone it down, darlin'. Too much is going to push her away at this point. A note telling her that you were sincere and that she will continue to be special to you, that you'll respect her feelings, and that no matter what avenues in life she chooses would be a nice touch. That may be a difficult statement for you to make since in reality you want to grab her and bring her closer to you, but I really think it would be your best bet. Give her some space. That will show maturity on your part. Pushing it further right now will come across as groveling or tripping over yourself pouring all of this stuff out. If she's not ready to hear it, it won't be attractive to her and chances are she'll feel totally smothered by it. Baring your soul as you described above is not going to get you anywhere but hurt right now. Sounds like she's nowhere near ready to hear it. You have planted the seed, now back up and see if it grows.
2006-10-21 18:07:35 · answer #1 · answered by Lila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, idealistic romance...
Well, I can tell you that there's no such thing as "the one" because you will meet hundreds if not thousands of people over the course of your lifetime. And I can tell you that by her response, it sounds like she's not that interested and you may be ignoring her "girl-speak". And I can tell you that people seem to change the most between their high school years and the end of college and in 10 years you will probably look back and think, "Wow, I was really different back then". BUT, all of that's not going to mean anything until you learn it all for yourself.
So, the only thing I will tell you to do is that whatever you decide to do, don't regret it later.
If you give her the letter and it all blows up in your face, don't regret it. Likewise, if you don't give her the letter and years on down the road you find out you might have had a chance, don't regret it. Which to me makes a pretty easy choice, but then again, I've been through all of this. In fact, I've even been through this scenario. So all you have to do is play out both scenarios in your head, and decide which one you like more. Good luck man!
2006-10-21 17:58:55 · answer #2 · answered by Westward 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are feeling some serious feelings here....however you did not mention what your HISTORY was with this girl. Did you casually date? Have you adored her from afar? Do you hang out a lot?
I guess in all fairness, being a senior is a difficult situation considering life COULD be changing for BOTH of you with moving to college and what not.
I am a firm believer in.....get this.....GO WITH YOUR HEART! If you give her the letter though I would suggest you ask her to read it in your presence and DON'T ask for a reply, but rather nod to her and say "I just had to write it all down"....if she is overwhelmed(which may be the case) walk away with your head up - You were a MAN and TOLD her your feelings. DON'T expect overnight a phone call right away.
I have learned from my own past, when something similar happened....I waited, I calculated and 3 months passed and I call HIM and said "Did you really mean all that?" I didn't expect he was sitting there pining for me....but we ended up dating....and got married after 3 yrs. Funny, but HE took the 1st step and I STILL have the letter!
If it's your feelings, it NOT wrong becasue it's HOW you feel. The rest you leave in her court as acceptance or regection.......all in all it will be a compliment that will stay with her for years to come.
Go get er!
2006-10-21 17:59:52 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think plainly asking for a honest answer, without an obsessive sounding love letter, will get you an honest response.
It is VERY possible she's just telling you the truth. I'm much older than you, and believe me, you're both young, and she probably is mature enough to know that she hasn't even begun to meet the the men that will come into her life.
Time is the only thing that will tell. Dump the "I love you so much, you're the ONLY one for me and you'll NEVER find another guy who loves you like I do" letter, and simply ask her for the truth. "Am I not the guy, or do you need time to figure it out, to experience Iife more?" Senior year? Not enough time. Hard pill to swallow, I know, but the honest truth from her may be hard to take, but you will have to accept it.
2006-10-21 17:57:08 · answer #4 · answered by Steve n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...this sounds exactly like me, when I was in higschool. I was absolutely in LOVE with this guy. He wouldn't give me a chance!! But I knew that he cared about me anyway, and that we were meant for each other. You know what happened?? I went to college, and I found another guy that I loved. Something I NEVER thought could happen. Then I went home on christmas break, and he saw me, and wanted me. He wanted me all of a sudden because I wasn't a virgin anymore, and because I was TAKEN!! He asked me out, hitted on me, so hard core. And you know what I did?? I said NO. I realized that I still cared for him, but I didn't want to be with him anymore, not if it meant I couldn't be with the man that I found at college. Why? Because I found out that the guy that I loved, wasnt' the guy I thought he was, deep down. Or maybe I had just changed and he was no longer enough for me. Anyhow. I didn't want him anymore. I wanted the new guy. I wanted him, because we had this great connection, could talk about anything, and were so comfortable around each other. I love him....sooo much that I want to marry him. Honestly, if you want to give her the letter, why not? But I am saying, she may find some guy at college that she loves, and hell, you may find some girl at college that you love. It really is possible nomatter how much it seems like it isn't so. Give her the letter, and if she doesn't feel the same way, then move on. Because who knows, maybe you'll go to college, and meet a girl that you fall in love with, and then she'll be running to you, and then you'll stop dead in your tracks and say, hell this wasn't the way it was supposed to end. I am supposed to jump at this chance I have with her, but I really don't want to.
2006-10-21 17:54:00 · answer #5 · answered by Green Tea Happy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I can almost feel your intense feelings for this girl through your words....if you've already expressed your feelings to her, let it go and let her think on it.
Regardless if you think her answer to you was lame, remember this one thing through out your life...many times over you may like or even love someone that is incapable of feeling the same for you. That's a reality and it can be painful but we all move along whether we want to or not. The blessing here is there's "always" someone else in our future even if it's hard to accept that thought at the moment.
2006-10-21 17:52:47 · answer #6 · answered by tyw@hotmail.com 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she said
"She told me that she didn't want a relationship in her senior year and that it wasn't because of me that she didn't, she said that its everyone. "
it means she doesnt like you!
Believe me.. most guys have had heard this line before
Why does she tell it thats its not only you but everyone else?
Because, first its the easiest thing not to break a man's heart.
Because, she hasnt found a guy who she really like yet.
When she get a spark from a guy, eventhough she's still in her senior year, im sure she wont say that same line. She will try to explore on the possibilities and not completely shut you down.
and if you are asking what it is in you that she doesnt like..
(personality, looks, etc etc).. dont expect an answer..
there's just no spark!
2006-10-21 17:48:52 · answer #7 · answered by jayp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have already told her how you felt and she didnt really respond then mostly likely the letter won't have any impact on how she feels. I would just sit her down and tell her to her face, most women like it when you tell them straight up how things are. If you write a letter to her she may not get it or not get a chance to read it or it may have more of an affect if she hears it straight from you. Screw the letter, tell her in your voice and words you want her and will wait for her.
2006-10-21 17:57:16 · answer #8 · answered by ~MandiNic~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Burn it. If you've already told her how you feel, it's not gonna get any better by telling her again. You say how much you love her, but the first thing you want to do is MAKE her answer you, MAKE her your girlfriend. That sounds like it's all about you, not all about her. If you can't cool and be a friend, then move on. If you want to see if SHE will change her mind, be a friend without trying to control her or what she does.
2006-10-21 18:02:33 · answer #9 · answered by Barry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she already gave you your answer. You may think of her as "the one" but she doesn't regard you the same way.
Give her the letter if you need more detail but whatever she says will probably hurt you even more.
Sorry to hear of your unrequited love. It hurts so much. Most people have gone through this and it's awful. If she doesn't reciprocate, I'm sure you will find someone very special in the future.
2006-10-21 17:56:34 · answer #10 · answered by Patricia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋